photograph in my hand. “After all, she’s the famous one.”

“And here’s Kitty in her first school play.” Pam turns

the pages of photo album. “Bitten by the bug right then

and there, she was. You know, she fought off five other

girls to play Mary in the nativity that year—including the

rector’s daughter!—and then she went and lost her two

front teeth, bless her!” She points to photo of little girl

with gappy grin and tea towel on her head.

“And here she is in Annie and Joseph and as Sandy in Grease Spent far too much time rehearsing and not

enough revising for her GCSEs, if you ask me!” Pam

chuckles. “Still, grades aren’t everything—she was

straight off to London for the summer with the National

Youth Theatre, and then snapped up by an acting agent!”

“Wow!”

“We were so proud.” Pam beams. “Didn’t get to see

much of her, of course, she was so busy auditioning and

filming and living the high life in London. Not that she

even stayed there very long—she left just after

Christmas!”

“How come?” ask carefully.

“She was spotted! Again! Can you believe it?” Pam

laughs. “We got call at the end of January—she was off to

Los Angeles.” Pam sighs. “Off to follow her dream.”

Or to forget her past

101

“She’s been starring in

sitcom over there.” Pam

beams. “For Richer, For Poorer Here.” She untucks large photo from the back of the album and gasp. Kitty’s black

hair gleams beneath an Alice band, and her green eyes

penetrate mine. Any doubts had vanish in an instant.

She looks just like me.

“Lovely, isn’t it?” Pam smiles. “And there’s her stage

name, Kitty Clare. Washing away her sin my husband,

Keith, says—Get it? Sin clare?”

grin, excitement thrilling like fever through my

veins. “Do you have any contact details for her? It would

be great to do an interview or something.”

“Of course,” Pam says, handing me the photo. “The

address of the studios is on the back, and you’ll need

photo for your project. I’ve got plenty more.”

“Thank you.”

take the photo reverently. My

mother …

Suddenly, Toby springs to his feet, barking madly as

key turns in the front door.

“Gracious, is that the time? Doesn’t it fly?” Pam

jumps up. “Sorry, love, that’ll be my other daughter, Jenny,

and her boys—we’re off to the panto. It’s all go in this

family, I’m afraid!”

“That’s fine. Thank you so much for your help.”

smile, getting to my feet.

“Mum! Are you ready?”

woman bustles in,

swiping her long black hair from her face. “Oh, sorry,

didn’t realize you had visitor. Hello.” She smiles warmly.

“Hi.” beam back. My aunt!

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Two little boys hurtle past her, lunging at each

other with plastic swords. And cousins!

“Boys—careful!” She grins apologetically. “Sorry!

They’re bit excited—we’re off to see Peter Pan.”

beam as edge past them. whole family!

“Sorry to rush you off like this,” Pam says, holding

the front door for me. “Please do call round again if there’s

anything else you need—it’s always lovely talking about

my girls.”

She smiles at me, and suddenly

give her

spontaneous hug, breathing in the fruity scent of her

shampoo as she hugs me back.

“You take care, now.” She beams. “And remember—

anytime!”

“Goodbye!” wave as she closes the door, hugging

my jacket tighter, warm feeling glowing inside me.

I’ve found her, I’ve actually found my mother! And

Pam too, and Keith and Jenny and the boys—a whole

other family! My real family The wind whips against my cheeks, and my eyes water. My mother Yes, she’s in L.A.—

practically the other side of the world—but I’ve found her!

I’ve actually found her!

Andy looks up as open the car door. “Well?”

falter, remembering his harsh words, his cynicism.

“It wasn’t her, was it?” He sighs, reaching over and

brushing tear from my eye.

hesitate, can’t meet his gaze.

“Oh, Rose.” He pulls me into tight embrace. “I’m so

sorry, but you know, it’s probably for the best.”

103

Over his shoulder, my eyes are on the house. The

front door opens and the family spills out onto the

driveway, laughing and chattering happily.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Andy asks gently.

shake my head. This is too fragile, too precious

moment to talk about right now. Especially with Andy.

can’t tell him, can’t let him ruin this—not now

He starts the car, and

gaze into the rearview

mirror as we drive away, watching the Sinclares laugh as

they squash and squeeze into their car, Toby racing in

excited circles around them, my head dancing with

excitement,

with

possibilities.

My

family my

grandmother

my mother …

“You don’t need her, you know?”

turn, startled, as Andy’s hand squeezes mine.

“Just coz she gave birth to you, it doesn’t make

her—”

“Let’s talk about something else, okay?” interrupt

quickly, pulling my hand away.

He looks at me, concerned.

“Please.” swallow. “Tell me about your trip.”

“Okay …,” he says uncertainly. “Well, I’m starting

out in the States. I’ve got family in New York and

Washington, so I’m going to crash at theirs on the cheap.”

“Sounds good,” reply absently.

“Yeah, my cousin’s

taxi driver—a bona fide New

York cabbie—so he’s promised to show me the sights.

Then my aunt’ll feed me up before fly on to Chicago, San

104

Francisco, then catch

Greyhound bus down to sunny

L.A.”

“L.A.?” turn.

“Yeah, thought I’d do the whole showbiz thing—

Mann’s Chinese Theater, Walk of Fame, Hollywood.”

Hollywood

Holly Woods

lean back against the

headrest and smile. That’s why! What better name for the child of starstruck seventeen-year-old?

“Then on to Southeast Asia—Vietnam, Cambodia,

Thailand …,” Andy continues, but zone out, still buzzing

with thoughts of my family—so close by! And my

mother—in Los Angeles

Finally we pull into Nana’s drive.

“Andy—”

“Rose—” We say each other’s name together.

“You first,” insist.

“I just wanted to say

am sorry we didn’t find

your mum. know how much it meant to you, just …” He

rests his hand on mine. “I didn’t want you to get hurt.”

My cheeks burn and

look away. “I know,”

say

quietly.

He squeezes my hand. “Your turn.”

“What? Oh, no, it was nothing.” shrug.

“What is it?” He smiles.

“I was just wondering …” hesitate. “I mean, about

your trip …”

He frowns. “I could always put it off for bit, if you

like? If you want me to stick around?”

105

shake my head quickly. “No, no, it’s not that, it’s

just …”

“What?” he asks gently.

“Would you mind

if

came along after

all

maybe …?”

“On the trip?”

nod.

“Rosie, that would be awesome!”

“Yeah?”

“Ye-ah!” He grins. “Are you kidding? We’ll have the

best time!”

smile at him. Then shiver as the wind whips past.

“Listen, go in, you’re freezing. I’ll call you tomorrow,

okay? We’ll meet up, sort everything. Rosie, this is going to