Is that bad?

Am I clingy?

Am I going to smother our marriage before it even starts?

"I thought it'd be awesome, but then I was talking to one of the guys on the team. He said the bachelor party shouldn't be about what I would like, but what the groom would like. So I have an idea. It's maybe a little unconventional, but I know he'd love it. And based on what Lori wants to do for your bachelorette, it may be perfect."

"Now you have me interested."

"Phillip, in case you don't already know it, is freaking nuts about you."

"You think?" I giggle.

"Uh, yeah, and when I mentioned taking him away for the weekend, I could tell he wasn't crazy about the idea. So what if we sorta combine the bachelor and bachelorette parties?"

"I'm not dancing for you, Danny."

"I think we'd all get in trouble for that. So, I haven't worked out all the details yet, but I thought we'd fly in separately on Friday. You girls go do the spa or whatever. Us guys will go golfing, followed by the traditional bachelor party night. The next day, we'll figure out a fun way to surprise Phillip. Then we'll all go out together Saturday night. Do drinks, have a nice dinner, go dancing. What do you think?"

"Danny, that sounds like so much fun, it really does!" But then I think about everyone having to fly to Vegas, pay for rooms, drinks, and the spa. "I'm just worried about asking my friends to spend their money on a trip to Vegas when they've already bought dresses for the wedding and all that. It feels like too much."

"Jay," Danny says softly.

"What?"

"I've got it covered."

"What do you mean? You've already talked to everyone, and they're okay with it?"

"Not exactly. I mean, I have it covered. I'm gonna pay for it. The flights, hotel rooms, the spa, all of it."

"Danny, you can't do that! It's way too much."

"Jay, listen to me. You guys are my best friends. I'm so excited you're marrying each other, and I wanna do this for you, for both of you. Please just be gracious and say thank you, Danny and don't fight me on it."

I want to put up a fight because Danny's going way overboard on this. But it's not very often that Danny asks me not to fight with him. It might the first time. Um, no, it is the first time. For sure. Danny likes to fight with me, I think.

"Fine, I won't fight you on it. It sounds amazing and is incredibly sweet and generous of you. But I have one request. Will you dance at my party?"

"Uh, no."

"Awwww, come on, Danny. You'd put those Thunders from Down Under to shame."

"I'm gonna say no, sorry. So what do you think about surprising Phillip? Like not telling him that you're there? Don't you think he'll love that? I was thinking we'd dress you up and have you come to our suite, like you're a dancer or something."

"He will be all hungover and probably won't even notice it's me."

Danny chuckles. "Jay, you know how it'll be. Phillip will be fine, and the rest of us will be hanging."

"True, Phillip never gets all fucked up does he?"

"Nope."

"I kinda like that about him."

"Well from what I hear, you kinda like everything about him. And a few things specifically. Who knew you were so naughty. And don't you two ever get tired?"

"It's all so amazing with Phillip. And no, we don't. I really don't know why I didn't take your advice and sleep with him sooner. I could've had so much fun."

"Cuz your stupid and stubborn, just like me, and you won't do what anyone tells you is good for you."

I think of something that's been bugging me, so I ask him. "Danny, do you ever think about cheating? I mean you're like this big sexy quarterback making the big bucks, and girls are always throwing themselves at you. Do you ever want to? Are you glad you got married?"

"Did Lori ask you to ask me this?"

"Uh, no, why?"

"Then why are you asking?"

"Well, couple's counseling is sort of freaking me out. The pastor is supposed to be pro-marriage, but it feels like he's trying to talk us out of it. He keeps referring to our marriage as like a dead body. It's going to fester. It's gonna get infected. Then, we're gonna smother it to death! I'm just wondering if marriage is a smart idea."

"Do you want someone besides Phillip?"

"No, but what if I change my mind? What if he does?"

"Jay, you can't do that to yourself. He's either the one, or he's not. Do you think he's the one?"

"It feels like he's the one."

"So why are you worrying about it?"

"Danny, did you pay attention to your wedding vows? 'Til death do you part? Forever and ever and ever? I mean are there out clauses somewhere? Like what if Phillip gets a big beer gut or a hairy back? What if we get married, and I find out something about him that I don't like?"

"For God's sake, Jay, you've known him your whole life. I don't think you're in for any surprises."

"Maybe."

"And just for the record, I love Lori. I'm smart enough to know that a roll in the hay with some hot chick isn't worth losing her over. Are you smart enough to know that?"

"I don't wanna roll in the hay with anyone but Phillip, but I'm afraid he might want to."

Danny's voice sounds concerned. "What's going on? Why would you think that?"

"I don't know. Well, there's this girl he works with that has a big crush on him. Like it's so obvious. Phillip takes his team out for drinks sometimes, and when I get there, she's always sitting next to him and flirting with him."

"How does she flirt with him?"

"She's always touching him, and I'm afraid he likes it because he doesn't stop her. If a girl was doing that to you, and you wanted to be polite because you have to work with her, would you let her touch you? Is Phillip oblivious to it, does he like it, or does he want her back? Or worse, could he already be?"

"Have you talked to Phillip about this?"

"No, I can't talk to him about it! He'll think I'm being jealous, or if he's doing something, he'll just deny it. I have to find out on my own."

"I see now why they wanted you to go to couple's counseling."

"What's that supposed to mean?!"

"Jay, talk to him. You have to talk stuff out in your relationship."

"Never mind, Danny. I'll figure it out."

"You looking hot today?"

"Actually, yes. I have on a really cute new dress and adorable high heels. Phillip likes when I wear heels."

"Your legs are like a mile long. Every man alive likes you in heels. Veryyyy sexxxy."

"Thanks, Danny, your pity flirting is helpful."

"You're hot, Jay. Phillip loves you, and from what I've heard, it's not like he's been ignoring you sexually."

"Oh," I giggle, "well, uh, no. Definitely not. I know what I'm gonna do. He's taking his team out for drinks tonight, so I'll just go and check it out. I mean, I work here now, I'm officially part of the team, right?"

"Right," Danny says.

I touch up my makeup, add a little smokey eyeshadow, three more coats of mascara, and some perfume Phillip loves.

When I get there, as expected, the girl is sitting next to Phillip acting like he's the most amazing and interesting man on earth. Phillip's even drinking a bottle of Dos Equis.