Exit Poins

POINS (within) Francis!

PRINCE HARRY Thou art perfect.

POINS (within) Francis!

Enter Francis, a drawer

FRANCIS Anon, anon, sir!—Look down into the Pomegranate, Ralph !

PRINCE HARRY Come hither, Francis.

FRANCIS My lord.

PRINCE HARRY How long hast thou to serve, Francis?

FRANCIS Forsooth, five years, and as much as to—

POINS (within) Francis!

FRANCIS Anon, anon, sir!

PRINCE HARRY Five year! By’r Lady, a long lease for the clinking of pewter. But Francis, darest thou be so valiant as to play the coward with thy indenture, and show it a fair pair of heels, and run from it?

FRANCIS O Lord, sir, I’ll be sworn upon all the books in England, I could find in my heart—

POINS (within) Francis!

FRANCIS Anon, sir!

PRINCE HARRY How old art thou, Francis ?

FRANCIS Let me see, about Michaelmas next I shall be—

POINS (within) Francis!

FRANCIS Anon, sir! (To the Prince) Pray, stay a little, my lord.

PRINCE HARRY Nay, but hark you, Francis. For the sugar thou gavest me, ’twas a pennyworth, was’t not?

FRANCIS O Lord, I would it had been two I

PRINCE HARRY I will give thee for it a thousand pound. Ask me when thou wilt, and thou shalt have it—

POINS (within) Francis!

FRANCIS Anon, anon!

PRINCE HARRY Anon, Francis? No, Francis, but tomorrow, Francis; or, Francis, o’ Thursday; or, indeed, Francis, when thou wilt. But Francis.

FRANCIS My lord.

PRINCE HARRY Wilt thou rob this leathern-jerkin, crystal-button, knot-pated, agate-ring, puke-stocking, caddis-garter, smooth-tongue, Spanish-pouch?

FRANCIS O Lord, sir, who do you mean ?

PRINCE HARRY Why, then, your brown bastard is your only drink ! For look you, Francis, your white canvas doublet will sully. In Barbary, sir, it cannot come to so much.

FRANCIS What, sir?

POINS (within) Francis !

PRINCE HARRY Away, you rogue ! Dost thou not hear them call ?

⌈As he departs⌉ Poins and the Prince both call him.

The Drawer stands amazed, not knowing which

way to go.

Enter Vintner

VINTNER What, standest thou still, and hearest such a calling? Look to the guests within. Exit Francis My lord, old Sir John with half a dozen more are at the door. Shall I let them in?

PRINCE HARRY Let them alone a while, and then open the door. Exit Vintner Poins !

POINS ⌈within⌉ Anon, anon, sir!

Enter Poins

PRINCE HARRY Sirrah, Oldcastle and the rest of the thieves are at the door. Shall we be merry?

POINS As merry as crickets, my lad. But hark ye, what cunning match have you made with this jest of the drawer? Come, what’s the issue?

PRINCE HARRY I am now of all humours that have showed themselves humours since the old days of goodman Adam to the pupil age of this present twelve o’clock at midnight.

⌈Enter Francis⌉

What’s o’clock, Francis?

FRANCIS Anon, anon, sir ! ⌈Exit at another door⌉

PRINCE HARRY That ever this fellow should have fewer words than a parrot, and yet the son of a woman ! His industry is upstairs and downstairs, his eloquence the parcel of a reckoning. I am not yet of Percy’s mind, the Hotspur of the North—he that kills me some six or seven dozen of Scots at a breakfast, washes his hands, and says to his wife, ‘Fie upon this quiet life ! I want work.’ ‘O my sweet Harry,’ says she, ‘how many hast thou killed today?’ Give my roan horse a drench,’says he, and answers, ‘Some fourteen,’ an hour after; ‘a trifle, a trifle.’ I prithee call in Oldcastle. I’ll play Percy, and that damned brawn shall play Dame Mortimer his wife. ‘Rivo!’ says the drunkard. Call in Ribs, call in Tallow.

Enter Sir John Oldcastle, with sword and buckler, Russell, Harvey, and Gadshill, ⌈followed by⌉ Francis, with wine

POINS Welcome, Jack. Where hast thou been?

SIR JOHN A plague of all cowards, I say, and a vengeance too, marry and amen!—Give me a cup of sack, boy.—Ere I lead this life long, I’ll sew netherstocks, and mend them and foot them too. A plague of all cowards!—Give me a cup of sack, rogue. Is there no virtue extant?

He drinketh

PRINCE HARRY Didst thou never see Titan kiss a dish of butter—pitiful hearted Titan—that melted at the sweet tale of the sun’s? If thou didst, then behold that compound.

SIR JOHN (to Francis) You rogue, here’s lime in this sack too. There is nothing but roguery to be found in villainous man, yet a coward is worse than a cup of sack with lime in it. ⌈Exit Francis⌉ A villainous coward ! Go thy ways, old Jack, die when thou wilt. If manhood, good manhood, be not forgot upon the face of the earth, then am I a shotten herring. There lives not three good men unhanged in England, and one of them is fat and grows old, God help the while. A bad world, I say. I would I were a weaver—I could sing psalms, or anything. A plague of all cowards, I say still.

PRINCE HARRY How now, woolsack, what mutter you?

SIR JOHN A king’s son ! If I do not beat thee out of thy kingdom with a dagger of lath, and drive all thy subjects afore thee like a flock of wild geese, I’ll never wear hair on my face more. You, Prince of Wales!

PRINCE HARRY Why, you whoreson round man, what’s the matter?

SIR JOHN Are not you a coward? Answer me to that. And Poins there?

POINS Zounds, ye fat paunch, an ye call me coward, by the Lord I’ll stab thee.

SIR JOHN I call thee coward? I’ll see thee damned ere I call thee coward, but I would give a thousand pound I could run as fast as thou canst. You are straight enough in the shoulders; you care not who sees your back. Call you that backing of your friends ? A plague upon such backing! Give me them that will face me. Give me a cup of sack. I am a rogue if I drunk today.

PRINCE HARRY O villain, thy lips are scarce wiped since thou drunkest last.

SIR JOHN All is one for that.

He drinketh

A plague of all cowards, still say I.

PRINCE HARRY What’s the matter?

SIR JOHN What’s the matter? There be four of us here have ta’en a thousand pound this day morning.

PRINCE HARRY Where is it, Jack, where is it?

SIR JOHN Where is it? Taken from us it is. A hundred upon poor four of us.

PRINCE HARRY What, a hundred, man?

SIR JOHN I am a rogue if I were not at half-sword with a dozen of them, two hours together. I have scaped by miracle. I am eight times thrust through the doublet, four through the hose, my buckler cut through and through, my sword hacked like a handsaw. Ecce signum.

⌈He shows his sword⌉

I never dealt better since I was a man. All would not do. A plague of all cowards! (Pointing to Gadshill, Harvey, and Russell) Let them speak. If they speak more or less than truth, they are villains and the sons of darkness.

⌈PRINCE HARRY Speak, sirs, how was it?

⌈GADSHILL⌉ We four set upon some dozen—

SIR JOHN (to the Prince) Sixteen at least, my lord.

⌈GADSHILL⌉ And bound them.

HARVEY No, no, they were not bound.

SIR JOHN You rogue, they were bound every man of them, or I am a Jew else, an Hebrew Jew.

⌈GADSHILL⌉ As we were sharing, some six or seven fresh men set upon us.

SIR JOHN And unbound the rest; and then come in the other.

PRINCE HARRY What, fought you with them all?

SIR JOHN All? I know not what you call all, but if I fought not with fifty of them, I am a bunch of radish. If there were not two- or three-and-fifty upon poor old Jack, then am I no two-legged creature.

PRINCE HARRY Pray God you have not murdered some of them.