O, the devil take such cozeners!—God forgive me.

Good uncle, tell your tale; I have done.

WORCESTER

Nay, if you have not, to’t again.

We’ll stay your leisure.

HOTSPUR I have done, i’faith.

WORCESTER

Then once more to your Scottish prisoners.

Deliver them up without their ransom straight;

And make the Douglas’ son your only mean

For powers in Scotland, which, for divers reasons

Which I shall send you written, be assured

Will easily be granted. (To Northumberland) You, my

lord,

Your son in Scotland being thus employed,

Shall secretly into the bosom creep

Of that same noble prelate well-beloved,

The Archbishop.

HOTSPUR Of York, is’t not?

WORCESTER True, who bears hard

His brother’s death at Bristol, the Lord Scrope.

I speak not this in estimation,

As what I think might be, but what I know

Is ruminated, plotted, and set down,

And only stays but to behold the face

Of that occasion that shall bring it on.

HOTSPUR

I smell it; upon my life, it will do well!

NORTHUMBERLAND

Before the game is afoot thou still lett’st slip.

HOTSPUR

Why, it cannot choose but be a noble plot—

And then the power of Scotland and of York

To join with Mortimer, ha?

WORCESTER And so they shall.

HOTSPUR

In faith, it is exceedingly well aimed.

WORCESTER

And ’tis no little reason bids us speed

To save our heads by raising of a head;

For, bear ourselves as even as we can,

The King will always think him in our debt,

And think we think ourselves unsatisfied

Till he hath found a time to pay us home.

And see already how he doth begin

To make us strangers to his looks of love.

HOTSPUR

He does, he does. We’ll be revenged on him.

WORCESTER

Cousin, farewell. No further go in this

Than I by letters shall direct your course.

When time is ripe, which will be suddenly,

I’ll steal to Glyndŵr and Lord Mortimer,

Where you and Douglas and our powers at once,

As I will fashion it, shall happily meet,

To bear our fortunes in our own strong arms,

Which now we hold at much uncertainty.

NORTHUMBERLAND

Farewell, good brother. We shall thrive, I trust.

HOTSPUR (to Worcester)

Uncle, adieu. O, let the hours be short

Till fields and blows and groans applaud our sport!

Exeunt ⌈Worcester at one door, Northumberland and Hotspur at another door⌉

2.1 Enter a Carrier, with a lantern in his hand

FIRST CARRIER Heigh-ho! An’t be not four by the day, I’ll be hanged. Charles’s Wain is over the new chimney, and yet our horse not packed. What, ostler!

OSTLER (within) Anon, anon!

FIRST CARRIER I prithee, Tom, beat cut’s saddle, put a few flocks in the point. Poor jade is wrung in the withers, out of all cess.

Enter another Carrier

SECOND CARRIER Peas and beans are as dank here as a dog, and that is the next way to give poor jades the bots. This house is turned upside down since Robin Ostler died.

FIRST CARRIER Poor fellow never joyed since the price of oats rose; it was the death of him.

SECOND CARRIER I think this be the most villainous house in all London road for fleas. I am stung like a tench.

FIRST CARRIER Like a tench? By the mass, there is ne’er a king christen could be better bit than I have been since the first cock.

SECOND CARRIER Why, they will allow us ne’er a jordan, and then we leak in your chimney, and your chamber-lye breeds fleas like a loach.

FIRST CARRIER What, ostler! Come away, and be hanged, come away!

SECOND CARRIER I have a gammon of bacon and two races of ginger to be delivered as far as Charing Cross.

FIRST CARRIER God’s body, the turkeys in my pannier are quite starved! What, ostler! A plague on thee, hast thou never an eye in thy head? Canst not hear? An ’twere not as good deed as drink to break the pate on thee, I am a very villain. Come, and be hanged! Hast no faith in thee?

Enter Gadshill

GADSHILL Good morrow, carriers. What’s o’clock?

FIRST CARRIER I think it be two o’clock.

GADSHILL I prithee lend me thy lantern to see my gelding in the stable.

FIRST CARRIER Nay, by God, soft. I know a trick worth two of that, i’faith.

GADSHILL (to Second Carrier) I pray thee, lend me thine.

SECOND CARRIER Ay, when? Canst tell? ‘Lend me thy lantern,’ quoth a. Marry, I’ll see thee hanged first.

GADSHILL Sirrah carrier, what time do you mean to come to London?

SECOND CARRIER Time enough to go to bed with a candle, I warrant thee.—Come, neighbour Mugs, we’ll call up the gentlemen. They will along with company, for they have great charge. Exeunt Carriers

GADSHILL What ho, chamberlain!

Enter Chamberlain

CHAMBERLAIN ’At hand’ quoth Pickpurse.

GADSHILL That’s even as fair as ‘ “At hand” quoth the chamberlain’, for thou variest no more from picking of purses than giving direction doth from labouring: thou layest the plot how.

CHAMBERLAIN Good morrow, Master Gadshill. It holds current that I told you yesternight. There’s a franklin in the Weald of Kent hath brought three hundred marks with him in gold. I heard him tell it to one of his company last night at supper—a kind of auditor, one that hath abundance of charge too, God knows what. They are up already, and call for eggs and butter; they will away presently.

GADSHILL Sirrah, if they meet not with Saint Nicholas’s clerks, I’ll give thee this neck.

CHAMBERLAIN No, I’ll none of it; I pray thee keep that for the hangman, for I know thou worshippest Saint Nicholas as truly as a man of falsehood may.

GADSHILL What talkest thou to me of the hangman? If I hang, I’ll make a fat pair of gallows, for if I hang, old Sir John hangs with me, and thou knowest he’s no starveling. Tut, there are other Trojans that thou dreamest not of, the which for sport’ sake are content to do the profession some grace, that would, if matters should be looked into, for their own credit’ sake make all whole. I am joined with no foot-landrakers, no long-staff sixpenny strikers, none of these mad mustachio purple-hued maltworms, but with nobility and tranquillity, burgomasters and great ‘oyez’-ers; such as can hold in, such as will strike sooner than speak, and speak sooner than drink, and drink sooner than pray. And yet, zounds, I lie, for they pray continually to their saint the commonwealth; or rather, not pray to her, but prey on her; for they ride up and down on her and make her their boots.

CHAMBERLAIN What, the commonwealth their boots? Will she hold out water in foul way?