GADSHILL She will, she will, justice hath liquored her. We steal as in a castle, cocksure; we have the recipe of fern-seed, we walk invisible.

CHAMBERLAIN Nay, by my faith, I think you are more beholden to the night than to fern-seed for your walking invisible.

GADSHILL Give me thy hand; thou shalt have a share in our purchase, as I am a true man.

CHAMBERLAIN Nay, rather let me have it as you are a false thief.

GADSHILL Go to, ‘homo’ is a common name to all men. Bid the ostler bring my gelding out of the stable. Farewell, you muddy knave. Exeunt ⌈severally⌉

2.2 Enter Prince Harry, Poins, Harvey, ⌈and Russell⌉

POINS Come, shelter, shelter!

⌈Exeunt Harvey and Russell at another door⌉

I have removed Oldcastle’s horse, and he frets like a

gummed velvet.

PRINCE HARRY Stand close! ⌈Exit Poins⌉

Enter Sir John Oldcastle

SIR JOHN Poins ! Poins, and be hanged! Poins !

PRINCE HARRY Peace, ye fat-kidneyed rascal ! What a brawling dost thou keep !

SIR JOHN Where’s Poins, Hal?

PRINCE HARRY He is walked up to the top of the hill. I’ll go seek him. ⌈Exit⌉

SIR JOHN I am accursed to rob in that thief’s company. The rascal hath removed my horse and tied him I know not where. If I travel but four foot by the square further afoot, I shall break my wind. Well, I doubt not but to die a fair death, for all this—if I scape hanging for killing that rogue. I have forsworn his company hourly any time this two-and-twenty years, and yet I am bewitched with the rogue’s company. If the rascal have not given me medicines to make me love him, I’ll be hanged. It could not be else: I have drunk medicines. Poins ! Hal ! A plague upon you both ! Russell ! Harvey ! I’ll starve ere I’ll rob a foot further. An ’twere not as good a deed as drink to turn true man and to leave these rogues, I am the veriest varlet that ever chewed with a tooth. Eight yards of uneven ground is threescore and ten miles afoot with me, and the stony-hearted villains know it well enough. A plague upon’t when thieves cannot be true one to another !

They whistle. ⌈Enter Prince Harry, Poins, Harvey, and Russell⌉

Whew !A plague upon you all !Give me my horse, you

rogues, give me my horse, and be hanged!

PRINCE HARRY Peace, ye fat-guts. Lie down, lay thine ear close to the ground, and list if thou canst hear the tread of travellers.

SIR JOHN Have you any levers to lift me up again, being down ? ’Sblood, I’ll not bear my own flesh so far afoot again for all the coin in thy father’s exchequer. What a plague mean ye to colt me thus?

PRINCE HARRY Thou liest : thou art not colted, thou art uncolted.

SIR JOHN I prithee, good Prince Hal, help me to my horse, good king’s son.

PRINCE HARRY Out, ye rogue, shall I be your ostler?

SIR JOHN Hang thyself in thine own heir-apparent garters ! If I be ta’en, I’ll peach for this. An I have not ballads made on you all and sung to filthy tunes, let a cup of sack be my poison. When a jest is so forward, and afoot too ! I hate it.

Enter Gadshill ⌈visored⌉

GADSHILL Stand!

SIR JOHN So I do, against my will.

POINS O, ’tis our setter, I know his voice. Gadshill, what news?

⌈GADSHILL⌉ Case ye, case ye, on with your visors ! There’s money of the King’s coming down the hill; ’tis going to the King’s exchequer.

SIR JOHN You lie, ye rogue, ’tis going to the King’s tavern.

GADSHILL There’s enough to make us all.

SIR JOHN To be hanged.

⌈They put on visors⌉

PRINCE HARRY Sirs, you four shall front them in the narrow lane. Ned Poins and I will walk lower. If they scape from your encounter, then they light on us.

HARVEY How many be there of them?

GADSHILL Some eight or ten.

SIR JOHN Zounds, will they not rob us?

PRINCE HARRY What, a coward, Sir John Paunch?

SIR JOHN Indeed I am not John of Gaunt your grandfather, but yet no coward, Hal.

PRINCE HARRY Well, we leave that to the proof.

POINS Sirrah Jack, thy horse stands behind the hedge. When thou needest him, there thou shalt find him. Farewell, and stand fast.

SIR JOHN Now cannot I strike him if I should be hanged.

PRINCE HARRY (aside to Poins) Ned, where are our disguises?

POINS (aside to the Prince) Here, hard by. Stand close.

⌈Exeunt the Prince and Poins⌉

SIR JOHN Now, my masters, happy man be his dole, say I; every man to his business.

⌈They stand aside.]

Enter the Travellers, amongst them the Carriers l

FIRSTI TRAVELLER Come, neighbour, the boy shall lead our horses down the hill. We’ll walk afoot a while, and ease their legs.

THIEVES ⌈coming forward⌉ Stand !

⌈SECOND⌉ TRAVELLER Jesus bless us !

SIR JOHN Strike, down with them, cut the villains’ throats ! Ah, whoreson caterpillars, bacon-fed knaves ! They hate us youth. Down with them, fleece them !

⌈FIRST⌉ TRAVELLER O, we are undone, both we and ours for ever!

SIR JOHN Hang ye, gorbellied knaves, are ye undone ? No, ye fat chuffs; I would your store were here. On, bacons, on ! What, ye knaves! Young men must live. You are grand-jurors, are ye? We’ll jure ye, faith.

Here they rob them and bind them. Exeunt the thieves with the travellers

2.3 Enter Prince Harry and Poins, disguised in buckram suits

PRINCE HARRY The thieves have bound the true men; now could thou and I rob the thieves, and go merrily to London. It would be argument for a week, laughter for a month, and a good jest for ever.

POINS Stand close; I hear them coming.

They stand aside.

Enter Sir John Oldcastle, Russell, Harvey, and Gadshill, with the travellers’ money

SIR JOHN Come, my masters, let us share, and then to horse before day. An the Prince and Poins be not two arrant cowards, there’s no equity stirring. There’s no more valour in that Poins than in a wild duck.

As they are sharing, the Prince and Poins set upon them

PRINCE HARRY Your money!

POINS Villains!

Gadshill, Russell, and Harvey run away ⌈severally⌉, and Oldcastle, after a blow or two, ⌈roars and⌉ runs away too, leaving the booty behind them

PRINCE HARRY

Got with much ease. Now merrily to horse.

The thieves are all scattered, and possessed with fear

So strongly that they dare not meet each other.

Each takes his fellow for an officer.

Away, good Ned. Oldcastle sweats to death,

And lards the lean earth as he walks along.

Were’t not for laughing, I should pity him.

POINS

How the fat rogue roared! Exeunt with the booty

2.4 Enter Hotspur, reading a letter

HOTSPUR ‘But for mine own part, my lord, I could be well contented to be there, in respect of the love I bear your house.’—He could be contented; why is he not then? In respect of the love he bears our house ! He shows in this he loves his own barn better than he loves our house. Let me see some more.—‘The purpose you undertake is dangerous’—Why, that’s certain: ‘tis dangerous to take a cold, to sleep, to drink; but I tell you, my lord fool, out of this nettle danger we pluck this flower safety.—‘The purpose you undertake is dangerous, the friends you have named uncertain, the time itself unsorted, and your whole plot too light for the counterpoise of so great an opposition.’—Say you so, say you so? I say unto you again, you are a shallow, cowardly hind, and you lie. What a lack-brain is this! By the Lord, our plot is a good plot as ever was laid, our friends true and constant; a good plot, good friends, and full of expectation; an excellent plot, very good friends. What a frosty-spirited rogue is this! Why, my lord of York commends the plot and the general course of the action. Zounds, an I were now by this rascal, I could brain him with his lady’s fan! Is there not my father, my uncle, and myself? Lord Edmund Mortimer, my lord of York, and Owain Glyndwr? Is there not besides the Douglas? Have I not all their letters, to meet me in arms by the ninth of the next month? And are they not some of them set forward already? What a pagan rascal is this, an infidel ! Ha, you shall see now, in very sincerity of fear and cold heart will he to the King, and lay open all our proceedings! O, I could divide myself and go to buffets for moving such a dish of skim-milk with so honourable an action Hang him ! Let him tell the King we are prepared; I will set forward tonight.