⌈Thunder⌉

Alas, the storm is come again. My best way is to creep under his gaberdine; there is no other shelter hereabout. Misery acquaints a man with strange bedfellows. I will here shroud till the dregs of the storm be past.

He hides under Caliban’s gaberdine. Enter Stefano, singing, with a wooden bottle in his hand

STEFANO

I shall no more to sea, to sea,

Here shall I die ashore—

This is a very scurvy tune to sing at a man’s funeral.

Well, here’s my comfort.

He drinks, then sings

The master, the swabber, the boatswain, and I, 45

The gunner and his mate,

Loved Mall, Meg, and Marian, and Margery,

But none of us cared for Kate.

For she had a tongue with a tang,

Would cry to a sailor ‘Go hang!’

She loved not the savour of tar nor of pitch,

Yet a tailor might scratch her where’er she did itch.

Then to sea, boys, and let her go hang!

Then to sea, etc.

This is a scurvy tune, too. But here’s my comfort.

He drinks

CALIBAN (to Trinculo) Do not torment me! O!

STEFANO What’s the matter? Have we devils here? Do you put tricks upon’s with savages and men of Ind, ha? I have not scaped drowning to be afeard now of your four legs. For it hath been said: ‘As proper a man as ever went on four legs cannot make him give ground.’ And it shall be said so again, while Stefano breathes at’ nostrils.

CALIBAN The spirit torments me. O!

STEFANO This is some monster of the isle with four legs, who hath got, as I take it, an ague. Where the devil should he learn our language? I will give him some relief, if it be but for that. If I can recover him and keep him tame and get to Naples with him, he’s a present for any emperor that ever trod on neat’s leather.

CALIBAN (to Trinculo) Do not torment me, prithee! I’ll bring my wood home faster.

STEFANO He’s in his fit now, and does not talk after the wisest. He shall taste of my bottle. If he have never drunk wine afore, it will go near to remove his fit. If I can recover him and keep him tame, I will not take too much for him. He shall pay for him that hath him, and that soundly.

CALIBAN (to Trinculo) Thou dost me yet but little hurt. Thou wilt anon, I know it by thy trembling. Now Prosper works upon thee.

STEFANO Come on your ways. Open your mouth. Here is that which will give language to you, cat. Open your mouth. This will shake your shaking, I can tell you, and that soundly. You cannot tell who’s your friend. Open your chaps again.

Caliban drinks

TRINCULO I should know that voice. It should be—but he is drowned, and these are devils. O, defend me!

STEFANO Four legs and two voices—a most delicate monster! His forward voice now is to speak well of his friend; his backward voice is to utter foul speeches and to detract. If all the wine in my bottle will recover him, I will help his ague. Come.

Caliban drinks

Amen. I will pour some in thy other mouth.

TRINCULO Stefano!

STEFANO Doth thy other mouth call me? Mercy, mercy! This is a devil, and no monster. I will leave him. I have no long spoon.

TRINCULO Stefano! If thou beest Stefano, touch me and speak to me, for I am Trinculo. Be not afeard. Thy good friend Trinculo.

STEFANO If thou beest Trinculo, come forth. I’ll pull thee by the lesser legs. If any be Trinculo’s legs, these are they. He pulls out Trinculo by the legs Thou art very Trinculo indeed! How cam’st thou to be the siege of this moon-calf? Can he vent Trinculos?

TRINCULO (rising) I took him to be killed with a thunderstroke. But art thou not drowned, Stefano? I hope now thou art not drowned. Is the storm overblown? I hid me under the dead moon-calf’s gaberdine for fear of the storm. And art thou living, Stefano? O Stefano, two Neapolitans scaped!

⌈He dances Stefano round⌉

STEFANO Prithee, do not turn me about. My stomach is not constant.

CALIBAN

These be fine things, an if they be not spirits.

That’s a brave god, and bears celestial liquor.

I will kneel to him.

⌈He kneels⌉

STEFANO (to Trinculo) How didst thou scape? How cam’st thou hither? Swear by this bottle how thou cam’st hither. I escaped upon a butt of sack which the sailors heaved o’erboard, by this bottle—which I made of the bark of a tree with mine own hands since I was cast ashore.

CALIBAN I’ll swear upon that bottle to be thy true subject, for the liquor is not earthly.

STEFANO (offering Trinculo the bottle) Here. Swear then how thou escapedst.

TRINCULO Swum ashore, man, like a duck. I can swim like a duck, I’ll be sworn.

STEFANO Here, kiss the book.

Trinculo drinks

Though thou canst swim like a duck, thou art made

like a goose.

TRINCULO O Stefano, hast any more of this?

STEFANO The whole butt, man. My cellar is in a rock by th’ seaside, where my wine is hid.

⌈Caliban rises⌉

How now, moon-calf? How does thine ague?

CALIBAN Hast thou not dropped from heaven?

STEFANO Out o’th’ moon, I do assure thee. I was the man i’th’ moon when time was.

CALIBAN

I have seen thee in her, and I do adore thee.

My mistress showed me thee, and thy dog and thy bush.

STEFANO Come, swear to that. Kiss the book. I will furnish it anon with new contents. Swear.

Caliban drinks

TRINCULO By this good light, this is a very shallow monster! I afeard of him? A very weak monster! The man i’th’ moon? A most poor, credulous monster! Well drawn, monster, in good sooth!

CALIBAN (to Stefano)

I’ll show thee every fertile inch o’th’ island,

And I will kiss thy foot. I prithee, be my god.

TRINCULO By this light, a most perfidious and drunken monster! When’s god’s asleep, he’ll rob his bottle.

CALIBAN (to Stefano)

I’ll kiss thy foot. I’ll swear myself thy subject.

STEFANO Come on then; down, and swear.

⌈Caliban kneels⌉

TRINCULO I shall laugh myself to death at this puppy-headed monster. A most scurvy monster! I could find in my heart to beat him—

STEFANO (to Caliban) Come, kiss.

⌈Caliban kisses his foot⌉

TRINCULO But that the poor monster’s in drink. An abominable monster!

CALIBAN

I’ll show thee the best springs; I’ll pluck thee berries;

I’ll fish for thee, and get thee wood enough.

A plague upon the tyrant that I serve!

I’ll bear him no more sticks, but follow thee,

Thou wondrous man.

TRINCULO A most ridiculous monster, to make a wonder of a poor drunkard!

CALIBAN (to Stefano)

I prithee, let me bring thee where crabs grow,

And I with my long nails will dig thee pig-nuts,

Show thee a jay’s nest, and instruct thee how

To snare the nimble marmoset. I’ll bring thee

To clust’ring filberts, and sometimes I’ll get thee