“Don’tfreak, Joel. I just meant if we had more time.”

Heexhaled on a rush.

“Makelove to me.”

Hepushed her back on the rug and kissed her from the tip of her nose, over hershoulder, across her breasts, down her abdomen, settling between her legs. “I’mgonna eat you until you cream for me.”

Shemoaned softly and closed her eyes.

Herpussy glistened with her juices in the firelight as he looked at all the pinkflesh. She wasn’t a waxer, but she obviously kept itwell clipped. No stray hairs anywhere. Funny he hadn’t really noticed before.

“Whatare you doing?”

“Lookin’my fill. You are so gorgeous, you take my breath away.”

“It’sbit disconcerting to have a man between your legs just so he can look.”

“Welike to look.” He licked from pussy to clit in one long stroke.

Herhead fell back on the carpeted floor as she growled deep in her throat.

Heloved the way she tasted, too. He loved everything about her. God, I’m so screwed.

Notwilling to give into the feelings surging through him at the moment, he lovedher until she came twice by his tongue and his fingers. He moved up between herthighs. With one skillful snap of his hips, he buried his cock so deep insideher, he knew he’d come home.

* * * *

 

Twodays later Mesa stood at the side of her car as Joel loaded her suitcases. Ninahugged her with tears in her eyes. “You know you can come back anytime, honey.You’ll always be welcome.”

“Thanks,Nina, but I’m not sure I can.”

“Heloves you, you know.”

“No,I don’t think so.”

“He’sjust bein’ stubborn. He’s a man after all.”

“Iknow, but I don’t think things would work out between us even if I were herepermanently. We’re too different.”

“Waitand see.”

“Everythin’is in the trunk, Mesa.”

“Thanks,Joel.”

“I’llleave you two to your goodbyes. You take care, honey. Call and let us know you gothome all right. I’ll worry until you do.”

Ninahugged her again. “Thank you for everything,” she whispered in the olderwoman’s ear.

“You’rewelcome.”

Joelstood off to the side with his hands in his pockets until his mother walkedback to the house. “Come ’ere.”

Tearsspilled down her cheeks as she hugged him close to her heart. She loved him.She knew she did, but she couldn’t give up her life in Los Angeles to move to asmall town in Texas and she couldn’t ask him to leave the only life he knew todo what? He would be so out of place in Los Angeles, it would be comical.

Hemoved back and wiped the tears from her cheeks. “Don’t cry, darlin’.”

“I’mgonna miss you.”

“I’mgonna miss you too.” He glanced at his watch. “Youbetter get goin’ or you’ll miss your flight.”

Sheclosed her eyes and sniffed, holding back the tears without success. “Bye,Joel.”

“Bye,darlin’.”

Chapter Twelve

“You’rebeing an asshole, Joel. Go fuckin’ get laid or something!” Jonathan yelled asthe two of them stood toe-to-toe in the barn.

Heknew his brother was right. He’d been a total dick the last few weeks, but hedidn’t know what to do to fix it. “Fuck you.”

“Gofind some chick to fuck and get it over with. Mesa left. You didn’t stop her.It’s your own damn fault you let her get away and now you’re miserable. You’retotally in love with her.”

“I’mnot in love with her, damn it!”

“Thehell you aren’t. Look at yourself. You barely eat, you aren’t sleepin’, and Ibet you haven’t been able to fuck another woman since she left.”

“Whatdifference does that make?”

“Youcouldn’t could you? You tried and you couldn’t get it up.”

“Getthe hell away from me before I kick your ass.”

“Tryit!” Jonathan put up his fists and backed up. “I’m waiting.”

“Youaren’t worth the bruise on my knuckles.” He stomped off, heading for the peaceand quiet of the main lodge. Guests were few this week, so he should be able tosulk in private. He hoped.

Afew moments later, he stood by the window of the main lodge looking out overthe front of the house. He hadn’t talked to Mesa in a month, not since shewalked out of his life. Miserable would describe his state of mind since sheleft. His life had come down to this, up at dawn, ride the fences, help hisbrother break horses, feed the animals, and mope the evening away with a bottleof beer and his television. He couldn’t eat, couldn’t sleep and certainlycouldn’t even think about being with another woman. He’d tried that. Theweekend after she left, he’d gotten drunk at the bar in town, took someone homeand then couldn’t preform. The woman had left pissed.

“Son,why don’t you call her?”

“BecauseI can’t, Ma. She doesn’t love me.”

“Ithink you’re wrong.”

“Whywouldn’t she say it then?” he asked, turning to face her.

“She’sjust as stubborn as you are.” Nina jammed her hands on her hips to take up herI’m-the-mother-so-listen-to-what-I’m-telling-you look. “Did you tell her youlove her?”

“No.”

“Thenwhy would she say it first? Why do you think it’s up to her to tell you, butyou couldn’t tell her?”

“I’mnot in love with her, Ma.”

“Youreally believe that, son? You’ve been miserable since she left. I’ve seen theway you mope around here like someone killed your dog. Give it up. I don’t knowif you think to convince me or yourself with that statement, but it won’t workon me.” She hugged him and stepped back. “You love her, Joel. It’s written allover your face. You were happy when she was here. Go after her. Convince heryou love her and bring her back home where she belongs. If you don’t, you’llregret it for the rest of your life.” She placed her hand on his cheek. “I loveyou, son, but you’re drivin’ us all nuts with this.”

* * * *

Fourweeks. It had been four damned weeks since she left Bandera and Joel. Mesaburied her faced in the pillow on her couch. She hadn’t been able to eat,couldn’t sleep, didn’t want to do anything but dreamof Joel where he visited every night. She was miserable. “This is fuckin’crazy!”

Herphone rang, but she didn’t feel like answering it. Every time it rang the oneperson she wanted to talk to wasn’t there. She’d made sure he had her phonenumber when she left, but so far, he hadn’t used it. Obviously, he’d moved onwithout her. She needed to do the same. She just couldn’t seem to breathewithout thinking about him.

Heranswering machine picked up and she heard the voice of her agent. “Mesa,darling. I need to talk to you about this book you sent me. Please pick up.”

“Allright, Mesa. I hate to say this, honey, but we can’t publish this. We writeromance. This doesn’t have a happily ever after, honey. The heroine ismiserable and we can’t sell this to anyone. You are a talented woman beyondwords, but this won’t sell. You need to rewrite the ending. I’ll call you thisafternoon.”

“Iwish I fucking could!” she screamed at the answering machine, bursting intotears. “God, I wish it had a happy ending. I want my happy ending.”

“Nevermind. I’m at your door. We need to talk now.”

Thephone clicked indicating the woman had hung up just as the doorbell rang.

“Justfucking great.” She buried her head in the pillow. “Maybe if I don’t answer it,she’ll leave.”

“Iknow you’re in there, Mesa. Your car is in the driveway. Open the door, honey.”

Mesasighed and climbed to her feet. She was just going to have to get this meetingover with so she could wallow in peace. “I’m coming!” she yelled as thedoorbell rang again. “What do you want, Madeline?”

“Youlook like shit, darling. What the hell happened to you?”

“Nothing.”

“Oh,something definitely. I’ve never seen you like this,”Madeline said, shoving past her to enter her hallway. “Like I said on thephone, we can’t sell this piece with this ending, Mesa. It won’t do.”