“You’re looking forward to having a real place for the two of you?” Niko asks. It’s such a

simple question, and it makes Steve feel like he’s genuinely welcome to show them how happy he is.

“You have no idea. My apartment is fine and there’s enough of Dan’s stuff around, but it’s not

the same, is it?”

Both Gael and Niko murmur their agreement.

Daniël turns to him. “I’m going to the gym for a good hour, after that we’ll visit a few houses.

You need to rest?”

“I don’t think I’ll manage the gym right now, not when we have more to do this afternoon, but

I’ll find a quiet place and work on my reading a bit. I’m curious what I’m able to understand from the

KTFC magazine at this moment.”

For an hour and a half he works his way, slowly but with less difficulty than he anticipated,

through a short article about Arnaud Degaré’s trademark managing style and an interview with local

boy Levee. His finger following the lines, his lips muttering the words. Sometimes guessing,

sometimes going back a few words. He remembers how he used to be able to skim texts, getting the

meaning of whole sentences with one look. It doesn’t bother him any more. This is where he stands

today; tomorrow will be another matter. The past? The jury’s still out on that.

Daniël brings him tea and enthusiastic stories about the weights he managed to lift. “I’m

beginning to get some decent level of fitness again. Interesting article, by the way, that interview with

Anthony. I read it yesterday. Not afraid to admit he had been wrong about certain things. Solid

character. It’s easy to understand why fans worship him.” He starts to grin. “But don’t tell him I told

you that, because I wouldn’t hear the end of it.”

“I couldn’t agree with you more.” Steve nods. “You look good: no longer so pale and

frightfully skinny. Let’s say I’m very much looking forward to our date tonight.” He puts the

magazine away and tries his tea. “Hot.”

“Just like you. Hot, I mean. I watched you reading for a bit. You look sexy, being all

concentrated.” Daniël stretches his long legs. “The plans I have for you tonight ...”

Steve can’t help but blush.

“You still get shy when I flirt with you. That’s so sweet.” Daniël takes Steve’s hand, kisses it.

“Ready to hunt for a home?”

*

The first house they walk through has already been vacated by the residents; the carefully

placed pieces of furniture too obviously an attempt to give it a certain ambience. Other than that, it’s

near perfect. Built before the Second World War, it has five rooms, a big kitchen, a huge bathroom

including a bath tub easily big enough for two, two walk in closets, a pantry, more storage room in the

attic, central heating, a double garage, a shed and a garden front, back and on both sides. The fact that

the nearest neighbours are at shouting distance does add hugely to the appeal of the property.

“It’s a bit old fashioned, but I like it,” Daniël whispers into Steve’s ear.

Steve stands in the middle of a room, leaning against Daniël. “So do I.”

It’s a quiet, one could even say modest house, not boasting its qualities, but waiting patiently

for someone to discover them.

“This house somehow reminds me of you. Not sure why, it just does,” Daniël says while they,

for the second time, make a round through the rooms.

The second house looks like it could be used in a magazine article about modern homes, but

when they look at each other’s faces, they notice the attraction isn’t there.

“I suggest we let it sink in for a day or so. You look tired, you feel like taking a nap while I

cook tea?” Daniël asks when they’re home again.

It’s only then that Steve realises how exhausted he is and ready for some rest. But it’s also

right at that moment he knows exactly why the old house is going to be his and Daniël’s first shared

home.

“You noticed the light, those windows?I’ve never seen it quite like that.”

Daniël kisses his forehead. “I know. I fell in love with it too. Now, sleep a bit and I’ll wake you

up in an hour or so. We’ll talk about the house when we have tea.”

Then Daniël kisses him again. “Had a good nap? Food’s keeping warm in the oven. Take a

shower, you and me?”

Steve stretches himself lazily. “But only if you promise to wash my back.”

“Back, front, any part you like.” Daniël grins. “Don’t tell me; I’m too good for this world.”

They have a very pleasant half hour.

After that, the spicy beef-vegetables-and potatoes casserole is still palatable enough, but

perhaps past its prime quality. Steve nevertheless eats with gusto and he’s delighted to see Daniël do

the same.

“I really liked that first house,” Daniël starts the conversation.

“You think it needs a lot of work?”

“You mean if it can be ready before the wedding, so we can move in right away? I don’t see

any reason for major renovations, just a bit of paint, new curtains, stuff like that.”

Before Steve can ask the next question, Daniël continues. “I had it inspected. It’s in good

condition, we just need to decorate it to our own taste, get furniture we like. A few adjustments so you

can get around safely. The garden can wait until after the winter.”

“There are more houses we want to take a look at?”

“Why should we? We like this one, it doesn’t need a lot of work, and we can afford it. There

will always be better places if we search long enough, but what’s the use of that?” Daniël scoops the

last bit of gravy with a piece of bread. “That’s what dad told me.”

Steve can’t deny it’s a relief. He sees nothing but joy in getting married and moving to a new

home with Daniël, he just isn’t sure if he’s up to the less than two months leading up to the happy

events.

“Hey, we’ll be fine. We don’t have to do everything by ourselves. There are people whose job

it is to organise weddings, paint houses and help us with finding the right colour of paint, too. Mum

reminded me again we are privileged to have a job that pays some serious money and be part of a club

that supports us in just about anything and as long as we need it. All you have to do now is say if you

like something or not.”

“You make it sound like it’s so easy and you have everything under control.” Once more, he

offers the boy a chance to venture out of his sanctuary.

But Daniël chuckles the concern away. “I’m getting pretty good at pretending I actually know

what I’m doing. And when I start to panic and I haven’t got a clue what to do next, I just think: as long

as I have my man, I can face the whole world.”

“I’m sorry for ...”

“Please, don’t. Everything, I mean fucking everything, has been taken from you. You have to

work so hard to get the things back we all take for granted. There won’t be a perfect happy end, no

matter what I try to tell myself about miracles happening all the time.” Daniël waits for a few seconds

before he continues. “You know what was hard for me? To be almost totally passive; not being able to

do anything but to wait. I was always used to doing things. Training, matches, proving to the gaffer I

was worth a place with the starting Eleven, undergoing therapy to recover from injuries...Suddenly all

I could do was sit and wait. Sit on that chair next to your bed, watching you. Waiting. Watching how

the nurses took care of your broken body. Waiting. It means so much to me, being able to do things for

you. I love taking care of you. It doesn’t matter how big or small the job. Does that make you feel

uncomfortable?”

Steve takes Daniël’s hands in his own. “If I feel threatened in my masculinity simply because