exactly to the right beats and I wanted to touch him very badly. It was incredibly hot and my faced felt

flushed with heat. I unbuttoned my shirt and let it hang open. He took of his shirt and stuffed it in his jeans.

Eventually I closed the space between our bodies until my chest was touching his chest. He was dripping

with sweat. When my bare chest touched some of his skin, nothing had ever felt better than this, slicking

against each other. For a moment, I felt afraid again that everybody was in the club was looking at us and

that somebody would come up to me to tell me that I couldn’t be doing this to my brother, but of course

nobody did. There were lots of people, both straight and gay, dancing and making out and to anybody who

looked at us we were just two hot guys having fun. Glenn was bringing us strong drinks at regular

intervals and he seemed really amused to see me like this.

Finally, I dared to wraps my arms around the small of David’s back and pulled him even closer to me.

We weren’t really dancing anymore, just hugging and rubbing our dicks against each other on the middle

of the dance floor. I could feel he had an enormous hard-on through his jeans and I didn’t even care that he

could feel mine too. Glenn waved at us when he left with the blond dude, but I barely noticed him. My

hands were now half inside the back of David’s jeans and he was breathing, or rather moaning, in my ear.

All I wanted to now was to kiss him, but still I didn’t dare too. Like kissing him would make this all real

and now we could still pretend were had just been dancing together.

David’s mouth was against the nape of my neck now and his hips were bucking against mine to the beat

of the music. He looked like he wanted to get laid really bad.

All of a sudden the lights went on. Apparently we hadn’t even noticed the announcement for the last

song and this place was closing at five A.M. I felt startled and helpless standing there with the lights back

on and sweat cooling of my back. For the first time I felt the alcohol hit me and I was unsteady on my legs.

What should I do now? Should I ask David to come back to my place? And do what?

David answered the first two questions for me.

“I’m coming back to your place so were can share a cab,” he smiled.

I buttoned up my shirt again while we waited in line to get our coats. It had started snowing outside and

the cold hit my face when we staggered outside. I was still feeling really horny although I also felt weird

being outside with him in the cold, waiting for a cab. When we were in the back of the cab together we

were still touching, holding hands and rubbing legs together.

When we reached my apartment I was certain I would fuck him. I felt sick with excitement, fear and too

much alcohol. So sick that I felt like throwing up all of a sudden…I had to rush to the bathroom and just

made it in time to puke my guts out hovering over the toilet bowl. David was kneeling next to me to stroke

my hair back.

“It’s alright Michael,” he said. “Just get it out, you’ll feel better.”

Finally, after half an hour on the bathroom floor I felt a little better and David dragged me up and pushed

me to bed. He removed my clammy shirt and unbuttoned my jeans, but because they were so tight he

couldn’t get them off. He then took of his own clothes and rolled next to me in bed and pulled the blanket

over both of us. He put his head against the nape of my neck and I was dying inside because I felt so dizzy

and was sure I smelled of puke. He didn’t seem to mind. His arm crept over my chest and he snuggled next

to me. I felt so sick I couldn’t even move. I smelled his hair, which now smelled of stale beer and

cigarette smoke, and drifted off to a drunken sleep.

I woke up around noon because of an immense headache. It was so bad that for a moment I forgot David

was there, lying almost naked in my arm. The arm that he was resting his head on felt numb because the

blood flow had been cut off by the weight of his head. When I tried to move he woke up and looked at me.

His eyes were brilliantly dark, more grey than blue and framed by thick lashes. I was still intoxicated

enough to bend forward and kiss one of his eyes. He giggled and I felt his eyelashes flutter against my

lips.

“I have to get up,” I said. “I need an aspirin.”

“I have to take a piss,” he said and got up too.

Things were weirdly normal after we got up. The whole sexual mood was gone and we were just like to

brothers again. We took showers in turns and had a cup of coffee standing next to the kitchen sink. Nothing

was said about the previous night. I think David knew I dreaded him to say anything; I wanted to pretend

that nothing had happened. So he said nothing, not one remark or questioning look. And when he left to

finish a report that was due on Monday, I collapsed on the couch.

We didn’t see each other after this for more than a month. We didn’t even email. I was so afraid that I

had fucked things up completely that I couldn’t concentrate and even flunked an exam.

9. ‘Happy Birthday’

Glenn had been teasing me a bit about that night with David and he said he’d wish it could be him next

time dancing with my brother. I tried to ignore him and forget about that night with David by partying

hard.

Then on February 25th my birthday came. I told my dad and Juliette that I didn’t want to do anything

special this year and they sent me some money as a gift. Christine sent me a beautiful shirt that she bought

online and an appalling pink birthday card with kissing boys on it. She liked sending me stuff that she

knew I would hate. The twins called me on the phone and sang ‘happy birthday’ to me together. I hadn’t

heard from David the whole day and I didn’t know if I was sad or relieved.

Glenn and I were planning to go out in the evening to celebrate. First we would go out for dinner to an

Italian restaurant I liked and then we planned to get wasted at some club.

At 19:00 hours I was waiting for Glenn who was supposed to arrive thirty minutes earlier. I’m the sort

of guy who hates to be late for an appointment and I hate other people being late as well. Our reservation

for dinner was at 19:30 and I knew that if we weren’t there on time our reservation would be given to

someone else. The restaurant was always extremely busy. I was really getting annoyed.

At 19:30 Glenn still hadn’t arrived and when I called him for the fifth time he finally answered the

phone. He sounded terrible.

“Jeez man, sorry, I was sleeping,” he said. “I caught some stomach flu or something, I’ve been puking

all night and day.” I felt like a kid whose party is canceled.

“So you’re not coming?”

“I can’t,” he moaned and I hung up.

An hour later my doorbell rang and I wondered if Glenn had gotten out of bed anyway. When I opened

the door, it was David. Before I could say anything he said ‘happy birthday’ and kissed me on the cheek.

He smelled like the vanilla and coconut scented shampoo that we had at home.

“I hope you’re not busy,” he said and looked a bit worried. “I wanted to give you your present in

person.” Reluctantly I let him in.

“You’re all alone?” he asked me surprised when he came in.

“I was supposed to go out with Glenn, but he’s sick,” I said and tried not to sound too pathetic.

“So you don’t have any plans for tonight?”

“No,” I said and he smiled.

“Than this may come in handy,” he said and handed me a bottle wrapped in gift paper and a card. The

card was almost as bad as Christine’s’. This one was a smiling sun on it and said ‘sunny birthday