corners of his mouth just quirk. “I was just thinking how I would

have never gotten here if it hadn’t been for you.”

I wiggle my arm free from my side and run my finger along

the outline of his jaw. “That’s not true. I didn’t even do anything

really.”

He turns his head and presses his lips against my palm. “Yes,

you did,” he whispers against my skin. “You saved me countless

times. Not just from getting my ass kicked or calling the

ambulance, but because you showed me that you cared.” He

shrugs and moves his mouth away from my hand, looking a little

embarrassed. “You showed me that I’m worth caring for.” His

eyebrows instantly knit. “But I want you to know that you don’t

have to stick around. I’ve still got a ton of shit I have to work

through, and you have your own. I don’t want to put that on you.”

I say the first thing that enters my mind. “Kayden, I love you.”

Then I press two fingers over his mouth, so he knows he doesn’t

have to say it back. The tremble in my heart matches the one in my

hand as I move my fingers away from his mouth.

His breath hitches and falters and then his eyes start to water

over. Mine pool with my own tears. It’s amazing how once

sentence—three single words, eight letters—can have so much

power. In a moment like this, even our breathing stirs the sorrow,

the agony, and the happiness that we’d both buried below our

hearts, underneath the immense pain.

I’m looking into his eyes and he’s looking into mine and I

wonder if maybe it wasn’t coincidence that brought me to him that

night in front of the pool house. Maybe it was fate that guided me

there so I could save him and he could save me and then it could

lead us here to this moment where we are both completely

content and free and glad we’re alive.

He starts kissing me and I feel his tears drip against my

cheeks and mix with my own tears. I open up my legs and he

keeps kissing me as he thrusts inside me, slowly and perfectly in

rhythm. I thread my fingers through his soft, damp hair, and then

move my fingers down to his cheek, feeling his stubble and the

slight unevenness of his jawline. His hands explore my body too,

touching every inch of it, his palms callously against my skin, but I enjoy every minute of it.

Sliding his hand to my knee, he tips to the side and brings

my knee up as he keeps rocking into me. I’m climbing higher,

faster, and my hands cling to him, gripping onto his shoulders. He

kisses me with more passion than he ever has before, delving his

tongue into my mouth and then sucking my tongue into his. He

bites at my lips, nibbles at my neck, and grabs at my breast until a

passionate fire combusts inside me. I cry out as I arc into him and

my head falls back against the mattress. I gasp, waiting for him to

catch up with me, and then I shut my eyes and breathe in the

moment, letting go of my second biggest fear and preparing

myself to face my first.

Kayden

I slide out of her and roll onto my back, feeling more of my

shield crack apart. As insane as it sounds, I’m somehow becoming

whole again—or becoming whole for the first time in my life. I

want to keep moving forward, putting myself back together again

and helping her heal too. I decide to take a baby step in that

direction and get up off the bed. She watches me walk across the

room naked and her cheeks are heating, which makes me smile.

“What are you doing?” she asks, pulling the sheets over her

body as she sits up.

I unzip my bag that I dropped on the floor near the door and

rummage through my clothes until I find it. The cold metal presses

against my palm as I round the foot of the bed and lie down

beside.

“What’s in your hand?” she asks as she reaches for my

fingers.

I let her pry them open and then watch her face twist as she

stares at the necklace in my hand. “I found it when Luke and I were

walking around in San Diego. It made me think of you,” I explain.

She peers up at me through her lashes, chewing on her

bottom lip. “How come?”

I turn my hand sideways and let the chain fall from my hand

and dangle from my fingers. At the end is a four-leaf clover,

stained a shiny metallic. “Because you’ve brought me nothing but

luck, Callie Lawrence.”

She immediately frowns. Sitting up, she brings her knees to

her chest and wraps her arms around her legs. “I’ve brought you

nothing but bad luck. You almost wound up dead because of me.”

I shake my head, then move behind her, putting a leg on

each side of her and sweeping her hair to one shoulder. “Every

single second I’ve spent with you has been worth it. Besides, I

probably would have wound up dead anyway.” She starts to turn

her head in shock, but I put my hands on her shoulders so she

can’t see past my arms. She can’t be looking at me when I say this.

“Before you, there was just pain and emptiness and I really didn’t

care if I lived or died. I was just there, existing at the surface of the water, not quite drowning but not quite able to breathe. And then

you came alone and I could finally breathe. Without you, I

probably would have just kept cutting until I finished my body off.”

“But so many bad things have happened to you since I came

into your life,” she says, sounding choked up.

“Those bad things were because of my own choices and

from problems that existed well before you came along.” I put my

lips beside her ear. “But you showed me something I’d never seen

before.” I kiss the tip of her earlobe and she shivers, her shoulder

moving upward against my cheek. “You gave me good… I’ve never

had good before.” I place a soft kiss on her neck and whisper, “You

showed me that it was okay to feel both the good and the bad. It

just took me a while to get it balanced.” I suck her earlobe into my

mouth, thinking about how she poured her heart and soul out to

me on the phone. I want to say it to her, to let her know that I feel the same way, but the words won’t roll off my tongue, so instead I

say, “I want to be with you, Callie, more than anything.”

Her head falls against her knees and she starts to sob, her

body heaving. I slide my arms underneath hers and then steer her

back with me as I lean against the headboard. I listen to her cry

and it matches with the rhythm of my heart. I feel how much I want

her—need her. I feel how much she means to me. I feel the pain

that coexists with my feelings for her. I feel how much I want to

run a razor down my arm, feel the skin split open, and watch the

blood pour out, and then I feel how much I don’t want to do that

because of her. I feel how much I want to live and be with her.

My heart opens up and I feel it all. Every single emotion

that’s ever been inside me starts pumping through my veins: the