“No, you’re amazing and perfect and caring and beautiful.”
I offer him a small smile. “So are you.”
He kneels down on the bed so he’s straddling my hips.
“Those things you said on the phone… it had to be hard to say
them.”
Pressing my lips together, I shake my head. “Not as hard as I
thought.” His face is masked and he looks perplexed as he
struggles for words he’s afraid to say, so I say them for him. “You
don’t have to say it back. I just wanted you to know how I felt.”
His lips start to separate and I push up on my elbows, grab
hold of the top of his shirt, and crush his mouth against mine, so
he doesn’t have to deal with it just yet. Putting his hands out, his
palms slam against the mattress and he braces his weight on his
hands, stopping himself from smashing into me. His tongue
pushes between my lips and slips powerfully into my mouth. He
tastes like syrup and pancakes and smells like coffee and
snowflakes. I breathe in through my nose, inhaling the scent as I
kiss him. He sucks my bottom lip into his mouth and bites it
roughly, sending a searing ripple to the center of my stomach.
There’s freedom in his movements, from the way he kisses me to
the way he grabs at my breast. His happiness makes me happy and
that’s all I really need at the moment.
He draws his lips away, but before I can protest, he sits me
up and grips the bottom of my shirt, yanking it over my head, and
my hair falls to my shoulders. With a needy look in his eyes that
sends a coil up my legs, he reaches behind me and flicks the clasp
of my bra open. I notice there is a collection of rubber bands on
his wrist and I wonder if his therapist gave them to him.
He notices that I’m staring at them and he stares down at
them too. He slips his finger underneath one of them and flicking
it looks up at me. “They’re supposed to help me heal.”
I nod, looking into his eyes. “I know.”
A moment passes between us and then he’s kissing me
again, folding his strong body over mine as he pins me down
below him on my back. He pushes his knee between my legs and
skims his fingers up my inner thigh, propelling my body into an
uncontrollable frenzy. I open my legs and let him rub his knee
against me, probing my fingertips into his shoulder blades as he
tastes my neck with his tongue. Little moans keep fleeing my lips
as my body arches into his and unexpectedly he moves his legs
away from me.
“Don’t stop,” I beg and he slants his head to look at me. I feel
mortified for begging. And surprised at myself. “I’m sorry,” I
apologize, embarrassed.
“Don’t be sorry,” he says in a gravelly voice. He grabs my hip
and turns us to the side. Reaching his hand down the waistband of
my pajama bottoms, he slides his fingers deep inside me and a
moan leaves my lips as my body clings to his. He cups the back of
my neck and lures my lips to his, kissing me fiercely as he moves
his fingers inside me, and I end up screaming out his name.
Once I come down from the high, I feel embarrassed by my
outburst. My cheeks are warming and I know he can see it.
“You know you’re adorable when you blush?” he says,
outlining my damp cheeks with his finger.
I bite down on my lip. “I’m sorry I begged like that… and
screamed.”
He shakes his head and strands of his brown hair hang
across his forehead and shadow his forehead. “Don’t be sorry for
telling me what you want. I’ll give you whatever you want, Callie.”
Whatever I want? I want him to say that he loves me, but I
won’t ever make him give me that. So instead, I do something that
is so out of character for me that it shocks us both. I lift my hips
and start slipping off my pants, because what I want is for him to
be inside me.
He watches my every move with this animalistic look in his
eyes that I’ve never seen before and I’m pretty sure every speck of
my skin is flushed with heat. I take of my panties too and then just
lie there naked while he’s still fully dressed. Despite the fact that I’m blushing, it’s a huge step for me and the very fact that I did it says that I’m moving forward in my life. He starts tracing his
fingers across my cheek, then draws a line to my neck, his skin
searing hot when it reaches my chest. His eyes stay on me the
entire time as he strokes his finger across my nipple and my
breathing instantaneously picks up. He moves to the other one
and then heads downward, skimming his fingers across my ribs,
feeling each bump until he reaches my hip. It tickles, but in a good
way and the insides of my thighs are scorching so severely I have
to entangle them around each other to contain the heat.
He keeps his fingers on my hip as he swings his leg over me,
his eyes never leaving mine. Once he has a leg on each side of me,
he uses his free hand to reach around and tug his shirt off. I feel a little better now that he’s not entirely dressed and I’m not the only one naked. As soon as my fingers come into contact with the lines
of his lean chest muscles, his fingers drift downward across my
body. Instead of putting them inside me again, he directs his hand
to the upper part of my inner thigh.
He maintains my gaze, like he’s afraid that if he looks away I
might panic. “You can tell me if you want me to stop. You know
that, right?”
I nod. “I know. I trust you.”
Smiling, he moves his thumb back and forth and my body
begins to tremble. He continues to do the same thing, moving his
thumb up across my inner thigh, making a path across the center
of my legs, and then moving it to the other thigh. Back and forth,
his fingers never enter me, like he’s teasing me. And it’s driving me crazy, to the point that I’ve become mortified at the pleading
noises that keep fleeing my lips and the way my toes curl every
time he’s about to slip his fingers inside me and then retracts
them.
Finally, he moves his fingers away from my skin, and then he
watches me, panting, and his eyes are blazing with something I’ve
never seen before.
I don’t know what he wants from me, but I can’t take it
anymore. “Kayden, please, please don’t stop.”
Apparently that’s what he wanted, because a smile curves at
his lips. He undoes the button of his jeans, grinning the whole time
as he kicks them off. It’s weird to see him this happy, but nice too.
When he returns to the bed he lays his body down on top of me.
He studies my face for an eternity, like he’s memorizing it.
“What?” I ask, self-consciously.
He shakes his head, still studying me. I’m worried he’s going
to start going off on how beautiful and amazing I am, but the