“The lid on what?” said Laura, who hadn’t said anything so far. It was as if a chair had spoken.
“On the possibility of social turmoil,” said Father, in his reprimanding tone that meant she was not to say any more.
Alex said he doubted it. He’d just come back from the camps, he said.
“The camps?” said Father, puzzled. “What camps?”
“The relief camps, sir,” said Alex. “Bennett’s labour camps, for the unemployed. Ten hours a day and slim pickings. The boys aren’t too keen on it—I’d say they’re getting restless.”
“Beggars can’t be choosers,” said Richard. “It’s better than riding the rails. They get three square meals, which is more than a workman with a family to support may get, and I’m told the food’s not bad. You’d think they’d be grateful, but that sort never are.”
“They’re not any particular sort,” said Alex.
“My God, an armchair pinko,” said Richard. Alex looked down at his plate.
“If he’s one, so am I,” said Callie. “But I don’t think you have to be a pinko in order to realize…”
“What were you doing out there?” said Father, cutting her off. (He and Callie had been arguing quite a lot lately. Callie wanted him to embrace the union movement. He said Callie wanted two and two to make five.)
Just then the bombe glacée made an entrance. We had an electric refrigerator by then—we’d got it just before the Crash—and Reenie, although suspicious of its freezing compartment, had made good use of it for this evening. The bombe was shaped like a football, and was bright green and hard as flint, and took all our attention for a while.
While the coffee was being served the fireworks display began, down at the Camp Grounds. We all went out on the dock to watch. It was a lovely view, as you could see not only the fireworks themselves but their reflections in the Jogues River. Fountains of red and yellow and blue were cascading into the air—exploding stars, chrysanthemums, willow trees made of light.
“The Chinese invented gunpowder,” said Alex, “but they never used it for guns. Only fireworks. I can’t say I really enjoy them, though. They’re too much like heavy artillery.”
“Are you a pacifist?” I said. It seemed like the sort of thing he might be. If he said yes, I intended to disagree with him, because I wanted his attention. He was talking mostly to Laura.
“Not a pacifist,” said Alex. “But my parents were both killed in the war. Or I assume they must have been killed.”
Now we’ll get the orphan story, I thought. After all the fuss Reenie’s been making, I hope it’s a good one.
“You don’t know for sure?” said Laura.
“No,” said Alex. “I’m told that I was found sitting on a mound of charred rubble, in a burned-out house. Everyone else there was dead. Apparently I’d been hiding under a washtub or a cooking pot—a metal container of some kind.”
“Where was this? Who found you?” Laura whispered.
“It’s not clear,” said Alex. “They don’t really know. It wasn’t France or Germany. East of that—one of those little countries. I must have been passed from hand to hand; then the Red Cross got hold of me one way or another.”
“Do you remember it?” I said.
“Not really. A few details were misplaced along the way—my name and so forth—and then I ended up with the missionaries, who felt that forgetfulness would be the best thing for me, all things considered. They were Presbyterians, a tidy bunch. We all had our heads shaved, for the lice. I can recall the feeling of suddenly having no hair—how cool it was. That’s when my memories really begin.”
Although I was beginning to like him better, I’m ashamed to admit that I was more than a little skeptical about this story. There was too much melodrama in it—too much luck, both bad and good. I was still too young to be a believer in coincidence. And if he’d been trying to make an impression on Laura—was he trying?—he couldn’t have chosen a better way.
“It must be terrible,” I said, “not to know who you really are.”
“I used to think that,” said Alex. “But then it came to me that who I really am is a person who doesn’t need to know who he really is, in the usual sense. What does it mean, anyway—family background and so forth? People use it mostly as an excuse for their own snobbery, or else their failings. I’m free of the temptation, that’s all. I’m free of the strings. Nothing ties me down.” He said something else, but there was an explosion in the sky and I couldn’t hear. Laura heard though; she nodded gravely.
(What was it he said? I found out later. He said, At least you’re never homesick. )
A dandelion of light burst above us. We all looked up. It’s hard not to, at such times. It’s hard not to stand there with your mouth open.
Was that the beginning, that evening—on the dock at Avilion, with the fireworks dazzling the sky? It’s hard to know. Beginnings are sudden, but also insidious. They creep up on you sideways, they keep to the shadows, they lurk unrecognized. Then, later, they spring.
Hand-tinting
Wild geese fly south, creaking like anguished hinges; along the riverbank the candles of the sumacs burn dull red. It’s the first week of October. Season of woollen garments taken out of mothballs; of nocturnal mists and dew and slippery front steps, and late-blooming slugs; of snapdragons having one last fling; of those frilly ornamental pink-and-purple cabbages that never used to exist, but are all over everywhere now.
Season of chrysanthemums, the funeral flower; white ones, that is. The dead must get so tired of them.
The morning was brisk and fair. I picked a small bunch of yellow and pink snapdragons from the front garden and took them to the cemetery, to place them at the family tomb for the two pensive angels on their white cube: it would be something different for them, I thought. Once there I performed my small ritual—the circumlocution of the monument, the reading of the names. I think I do it silently, but once in a while I catch the sound of my own voice, muttering away like some Jesuit saying a breviary.
To pronounce the name of the dead is to make them live again, said the ancient Egyptians: not always what one might wish.
When I’d been all the way around the monument, I found a girl—a young woman—kneeling before the tomb, or before Laura’s place on it. Her head was bowed. She was wearing black: black jeans, black T-shirt and jacket, a small black knapsack of the kind they carry now instead of purses. She had long dark hair—like Sabrina’s, I thought with a sudden lurching of the heart: Sabrina has come back, from India or wherever she’s been. She’s come back without warning. She’s changed her mind about me. She was intending to surprise me, and now I’ve spoiled it.
But when I peered more closely, I saw this girl was a stranger: some overwrought graduate student, no doubt. At first I’d thought she was praying, but no, she was placing a flower: a single white carnation, the stem wrapped in tinfoil. As she stood up, I saw that she was crying.
Laura touches people. I do not.
After the button factory picnic, there was the usual sort of account of it in the Herald and Banner—which baby had won the Most Beautiful Baby contest, who’d got Best Dog. Also what Father had said in his speech, much abbreviated: Elwood Murray put an optimistic gloss on everything, so it sounded like business as usual. There were also some photos—the winning dog, a dark mop-shaped silhouette; the winning baby, fat as a pincushion, in a frilled bonnet; the step-dancers holding up a giant cardboard shamrock; Father at the podium. It wasn’t a good picture of him: he had his mouth half-open, and looked as if he were yawning.
One of the pictures was of Alex Thomas, with the two of us—me to the left of him, Laura to the right, like bookends. Both of us were looking at him and smiling; he was smiling too, but he’d thrust his hand up in front of him, as gangland criminals did to shield themselves from the flashbulbs when they were being arrested. He’d only managed to blot out half of his face, however. The caption was, “Miss Chase and Miss Laura Chase Entertain an Out-of-Town Visitor.”