All said — the female who keeps her cunt hymenized and under seal amongst the well-to-do-classes, only does so that she may get a higher price for it, either in money or position. She sometimes never attains either, and mostly has to wait long for it, wait for years, and frigs herself during her waiting, languishing for want of a prick and spermatic lubricatios, which is health giving to a female. — A poorer girl has earlier the prick up her, and every day, perhaps, has the intense pleasures of fucking, and all the varied amatory enjoyments which a man is pretty sure to give her in all sorts of ways. — Thus the happiness of life are pretty evenly distributed. — Perhaps the woman who follows her sexual instincts, and who is thus the most natural, has the best of it. Fucking is the greatest pleasure of life, and the woman who delays getting it for years, loses much. The woman who waits till she is twenty-six before she is fucked, loses ten years' pleasure, compared with one who has a prick up her at sixteen, and regularly afterwards.

I began at last to be weary of the girl, and at the same time got anxious about her. She, like all others, wanted to go out and show her fine clothes. — It was of no use opposing it, and Sarah took her out. But the clothes were showy and Sarah, being a night bird and only wearing black silk, the girl looked very bright, and men came after the girl, so that they both took to wearing veils. — Said I, “She will go gay.” “Not if I can help it — I like her too well, I'll work for her,” Sarah replied.

Then I advised Sarah taking her back to the country — Sarah said that the girl would not go, and moreover, that it was impossible. The girl soon after seemed hurt for I did not see her or poke her as much. — Circumstances were in fact changing with me and I could not get to see her, tho I wished — Sarah said she told the girl to frig herself if she was randy, and I know frigged her herself. “That will keep her from wanting fucking for a bit, but she'll be longing for the right thing in her cunt.” — After having had Liz about five months, I was obliged to go abroad. — Sarah was to try to get her into some situation, but where she could watch her — I left enough money to keep the girl four months.

I was away four months. The first night I was back in England I went to P***l**d P* * *e and met Sarah whom I knew a mile off. I asked her to come to the A**a. — Shall I bring her, said she laughing. — By her side stood a girl with a veil on. — I looked. — “Don't you know her?” The girl raised her veil and laughed quite a peal. It was Lizzie.

“You have made her a whore, it's a damned shame,” said I angrily. — “I haven't, let's go to the A**a,” and there we all went.

“It's extraordinary to meet you, for it's the first night I have brought her out. — Look, her things are fresh, the bonnet and dress you gave her are not suit-able for the season for it was the end of autumn) — see her boots, her stockings, her garters and all —all quite fresh.” “What have I done that you did not come to see me,” Lizzie whimpered.

Said Sarah, “We must live, I put her to a business, but she would not stop ten hours a day in a workshop in a close room. Then I put her at * * * and she would not stop there. She would come out, and she'll make ten times as much by my help as she would by herself. — I did not want it, and have been kind to her, haven't I Liz? — I will keep her with pleasure,” Sarah went on, “but she won't stop at home without me.” — Liz, whilst this was going on, was sitting on my knee, my fingers were on her little sweet cunny, but for a minute only, for quickly we all got on to the bed. — Sarah unasked. — She had her old letch on, and frigged her-self whilst I fucked the little one again and again.

The girl had grown an inch, was plumper, had more hair on her little quim, which was more enticing than ever, and was a lovely little creature altogether. I was sorry to think that she would turn out gay, and believed that that was really the first night she was out for the purpose. — A man had already accosted her and the lass had refused him. —, Sarah told her that gay life was gay life and money money. — If she meant to get a living that way, she mustn't play the fool, but take any one who'd pay handsomely.

“I wouldn't,” said Liz, tossing her head. — “He was an ugly little old man with a white beard and I could not a bear the sight of him — a little old man.”

How the girl enjoyed her fucking — and what a lovely cunt she had. — How I enjoyed her, but circumstances were too strong for me, it was impossible for me to see her much — I made her promise not to be gay, and agreed to give Sarah three pounds a week for her, whilst I was in England. — Next night I saw them at the lodgings. — Sarah said she didn't mind working for the girl, her letch for her she now admitted, but the girl wouldn't be moped up. — She would go out, so what was Sarah to do. The end was clear, that she was to be a gay woman.

For another month or so I had her, then again went abroad, leaving twenty pounds for the girl to live on while I was away. — On my return it was well on in winter. — I went to the old haunts — Sarah was not visible — to her lodgings and she had left, and no one knew where she had gone. — I went to baudy houses and there they had missed her. — One old woman looked queerly at me, and said she did not know such a woman, altho any one who had seen Sarah twice must have recollected her. — “Why I have paid you for rooms with Miss F**z*r dozens of times.” — Then the woman admitted she knew her and me, but had missed her some time. — “I thought,” said the woman, “you was after her for something.” She took me to be a detective I think at first.

Said I, “She used a little time ago to be with a young fair haired girl, where is she?” “Oh yes, but I've not seen the girl neither — there was some sort of a row about her — but there,” said she, stopping short, “I don't know anything about either — there.” —I gave her ten shillings to tell me all she knew, she took it, and said she knew nothing more.

I asked two or three gay women whom I had seen talking to Sarah. — They knew nothing. — One I took to a house, hoping to get some information. — She said Sarah was a bad one she believed. — I never saw or heard of either Sarah or Lizzie again.

My impression is that some one was after Sarah on account of Liz, and that they both had fled from London — I feel sure Sarah had no wish for her to be gay, but Liz had learned to like the red knobbed flesh stick far better than another woman's cunt, and I dare say is merrily fucking about somewhere now, and I hope is happy.

So finished my acquaintance with Sarah F**z*r who, with her substitutes, had mainly amused me for some-thing like four years. I did not however see her usually more than twice a week to have her, and sometime two or three weeks elapsed without my doing so. — At times I was abroad, or away from town for far longer per- iods, and at other times I was virtuous and at home. — But there were often occasions when I was alone in town, and free to dispose of myself and my sperm. — It was at those opportunities that I had my rutting fits, and notably so when I had the man.

[The adventure which follows is singular in its way — for I had, as narrated, an Irish woman some time since, with the same vanity which marks this one. I have however had English women who vaunted their own beauties.]