“You must like looking at cunts.” Sarah said she did, at the cunts of girls who had never had it, but — “I did at Harriet's for your sake as well as my own, for I want the money.”
But I wouldn't pay but half, with which she was not at all contented. I was in fact angry and under the impression that she had tried to sell me. I liked my girl — there was a genuine freshness about her, yet at times I thought the girl was shamming. Why did Sarah hide her being gay from the first young lass, and ostentatiously proclaim it to this one? I after-wards thought. The game for this one was clearly not the same as for the other. But why when she knew that the hymen was not there, did she not tell me? Because she thought I shouldn't find it out. — “You are a downy card,” said Sarah. “For all that I believe that the girl never has had a man put into her, don't let's quarrel, I'll send her away.”
I did not want that and said I should have her again.
This conversation took place whilst Harriet was snoring on the bed with two spermatic libations up her. Sarah spiteful about the half fee said she'd wake the girl — was I not going? No, I would hear. Sarah did not seem to wish that. — To the bedroom we went. “To think of that little devil having been fucked,” said Sarah, as she looked at her. Shaking Harriet, the girl sat up bewildered — the fume of the liquor still strong in her. “What are you doing on my bed?” said Sarah. Rubbing her eyes — “I don't know — Oh my head — Oh, I'm so ill.” “Why, you have made a mess on my bed.” “Oh I couldn't help it, I am so ill.” “You have been on the bed with the Doctor — he has fucked you, you little bitch.” No reply. “Hasn't he fucked you?” No reply. Another shaking, and the girl began to sob. “Hasn't he fucked you?” “I don't know.” “You do, your clothes were up. — Hasn't he?” “I think so, but I don't know.” “He has, and I will turn you out.”
“Oh — Oh — Oh don't — you told me to let him do what he liked — Oh my head.” “Yes, but I did not think you'd let him fuck you, at your age you little beast —how often did he do it?” “I don't know,” said she blubbering. Then suddenly, “Oh don't hit me, I am going to be sick again” — and she went to the basin and retched.
It seemed cruel work — the tears and pain the poor girl was in. “It's my fault,” said I. “Oh here he is,” said the girl. “Tell mistress it arn't my fault.” Sarah laughed. — “How often has he done it to you?” “I don't know. I was asleep. Oh don't let her turn me away sir, I am so comfortable here.” — “I should think you are,” said Sarah, “and to let him fuck you.” “You told me to let him do anything.” “I meant if he wanted to kiss you, and put his hand up your petticoats, and feel you — but who'd have thought of your letting him fuck you, at your age, you little beast.” “I could not help it — Oh!” — and she tumbled back on to the bed.
We went into the sitting room, and saying that I meant to have the girl again I departed. The next night I was at Sarah's and, making no bones about the matter, said I wanted Harriet in the bedroom. Said Sarah, “It's funny, you come to see me, and yet want my servant, Doctor. — Well if you will, I suppose you must.” The girl wouldn't come, so I pulled her gently into the bedroom.
I was thoroughly lewed, she sullen, had taken medicine, and what with that, the night before, and only having slept a drunken sleep, she gave so much trouble when I wished to look at her cunt, that I called in Sarah. — “You little fool,” said she — “when a man has fucked you, you may let him do anything — let him see your cunt or anything else,” and away she went.
The girl yielded. At the side of the bed, thighs distended, I opened her cunt whilst I held a candle to it.
Her love seat was that of a girl of full sixteen, an age at which I have seen but few. It looked long and deli- cate but with unusually pouting lips for her age. A strongish clitoris shewed and nymphae full and thicker than usual. — Clitoris and nymphae in fact, were much more developed than is usual in girls. (I wonder if that be a sign of a warm temperament.) The channel of coition was unusually small at the mouth, and I fancied looked as if it had been just torn or stretched at its upper part. — Was it that her hymen had only been partially destroyed, or stretched and opened, and had, I completed the stretching? — Altho the membrane with a small hole was not visible when I first saw it, was there a membrane with a large hole? In the excitement of my first look and hurried fuck, I now could not be sure. She had a very full mons or mount with short thick hair but small in quantity on it, close to the top of the nick, and but a little way down the lips. Al-together tho unusual in appearance, it was a pretty and libidinous looking, exciting cunt. There is a physiognomy in cunts, some are prettier than others, some more exciting to look at than others, tho it is difficult to say what it is in the appearance which excites in one more than in the other.
Tho I couldn't discern signs of hymenal rupture, on my putting two fingers up it she called out. Then lust sitrred me to action, and pushing her on to the bed I entered her. Its feel was the same as on the previous night, and she said I hurt her. For about three hours I pulled her cunt about, for in her way she was a novelty. The deaf girl was a full grown child who would talk and fuck but not always spend. This girl was bursting with randiness, her young lusts were on with all their force. She soon took delight in everything I said or did, all was new to her, her lustful sensations were even new to her.
The look of a prick, the feel of its smooth skinned rigidity, its friction and lubricating overflow were all new to her. I believe absolutely new, spite of the absence of a hymen. So she took to all the preliminaries and exercises of love with delight and with the eagerness and ardour of a hot cunted one. I had not been deceived in my first impression about her. She was dying for the juice of the male, restless with lewed sensations, in the springtide of her lust, and under the urging of sexual curiosity — I had just caught her in time, and she with me revelled for weeks in unrestrained lasciviousness. If I had not had her, some one would. The first man who had kissed and fondled her might have felt her cunt, she couldn't have helped letting him; and once felt she would have let him do anything. Her warm nature was commanding her to surrender her person to the male. She was dying for a prick.
I took a fancy with her (I always have some special fancy with each woman) to lay in bed both of us start naked. Thin as she was I somehow liked this — tho why I am unable to say. How give reasons for any letch? There in clean sheets which I made Sarah pro-vide (and indeed bought one new pair) we used to indulge in lewedness. Her slim young form pleased me much, and naked I used to cover her, or put her on the top of myself — fuck her belly to belly, or to bum, till I was satiated. These varied postures test whether the female is a hack or a greenhorn. If accustomed to salacity they fall into them readily, and in a way which cannot hide their knowledge whatever innocence they may allege, whilst the neophytes show an astonishment and quiet delight not easy to imitate and deceive. — “You can't do it so, Doctor.” “Yes, we can try — see — there” — was said more than once during my varied performances with Harriet.
I had her frequently for more than two months, and it is certain that the mouth of the vagina, the site of the hymen, got bigger. Whether it stretched or split I can't say — but easier for my prick to enter, it certainly got. Inside it remained a tight sheath to my penis, tho quite elastic, and perhaps large enough for the greatest male cunt stretcher. I incline to think she never had a true hymen, or had broken it early in life, leaving a larger orifice than is usually found before male penetration. — I used to fancy that the mouth of the prick hole had opened gradually more at the top than elsewhere, but cannot pretend to assert that it was so. She told me that when about nine years old, she and another girl, a schoolfellow, used to push their fingers up each other's cunt. At all events I came to the conclusion that a prick had never been up her till she had mine.