Then I wanted to piddle, and taking up a pot, emptied my bladder in very open fashion before her, and ex-posed my prick as much as I could — (It is a thing I always do as soon as I can before a woman, whom I want to get over.) and I asked her at the same time, — “Don't you want to piddle, my love?” — The girl turned away her head, and blushed strongly. Her whole manner was so unmistakably modest, that I was per- plexed again. It was quite clear to me, that whether she had been tailed or not, that she was not a strumpet in the least degree. With that, pity came over me, and a desire to save her from harlotry. All the weak, sentimental nonsense of my youth crowded my brain, and forgetting what I know to be the fact, that she and such as she, probably would do better, and be happier as a harlot, than as a poor work girl, if such she was; determined to get her home, and not to fuck her. — With some effort it was that I then put a bridle on my desires, and urged her going back.

All was useless — no she wouldn't — never —. “Why?” — She wouldn't — she would do anything else rather. — How could she, — now that she had run away? — What would be said? — I didn't know, I re-marked. — No, and I shouldn't know. Much in that style ran her answers and remarks, to my advice, supplication, and offer of assistance. Then I sat silent for a minute or so, wondering at the strangeness of the incident, and thinking what I should do.

Whilst sitting so, thinking and not speaking, she whined out, — “Oh, I'm so tired and sleepy.” — My lust came on strongly at once on hearing that. “Lie down then,” — and I put her upon the ample sofa, got her legs up, and into the exact position to begin amorous preliminaries. But I felt strangely nervous at my intentions. I can't understand now how it was so. It must have been her modest manner and looks, which made me hesitate, for I did. Then I put my arms round her neck and tried to cuddle her, and after a little restiveness, she let my arm lay there, whilst I sat on the sofa's edge, half turning toward her. Then all was impulse, under the pressure of love, lust, sexual want, the need of emptying the sperm out of my balls, or whatever the mainspring may have been. She was evidently sleepy and weary, and again gave me the impression of being half stupefied. — Then all at once, Is she quite right in her head? I wondered.

“You'll give me a kiss now,” and kissing her, she re-turned it, but hesitatingly. I kissed on for she was nice, my fondling began to soothe her, and I asked her to tell me why she had run away. Then she became again taciturn. “No — it is no good telling.” — “I guess why your mother beat you so.” — “She's not my mother — mine's dead — it's father's second wife, and I hate her.” — “She caught you with your sweetheart.” — “No she ain't.” — “She has, and he's put it in there,” and I poked her clothes between her thighs. “He's done it to you, put his prick in your cunt, and she's found it out.” Whilst saying this and kissing her, I put my hand rapidly up her clothes and touched her thighs. She firmly closed them and yelled out. “Oh, now — don't sir — pray. — Oh, don't you.” — “Non-sense, my darling, I'm sure you've been fucked, now haven't you?”

She struggled, but could not rise, for I had her down, leant over her kissing, and feeling, till I got my fore-finger on to her clitoris, and looking along sideways, saw that my arm had lifted her clothes above her knees, and that her stockings and under linen looked clean. — Then my cock stiffened hard. I told her of it, and rubbed on her clitoris gently tho with difficulty, so close did she keep her thighs. But lewed talk, and the slow friction was telling on her. “Now let me feel it properly, love, and I'll give you such pleasure.” But she crossed her ankles, and her thighs pinched together tighter than ever, and she positively trembled, saying at each stage of my fingering progress, — “Oh — Oh — don't now — leave off,” — in a perfectly modest manner.

I took my hand away, pulled out my engine and whilst doing so, saw her face was again scarlet. It had been unnaturally white. “Look here, my love, now let me have you.” — She fixed her eyes on it, again made no reply, and her lips moved as if speaking, just as they had done but without utterance, when in the street with me. Then with a rush I pulled up the clothes to her belly, saw the slight hair on her motte, and before she could prevent me, my lips were upon it and kissing it, whilst my hands prevented her pushing her clothes down. — With a sharp cry of modesty and fear, she pushed the clothes over my head, and energetically with hands, backside, and legs, tried to dislodge me. But this was for a second or two only. Then she laid perfectly tranquil, and let me do pretty well as I liked, in a sullen, resigned sort of way.

After a minute's kissing, I drew my head gently away, and pushing her petticoats up with my hands, had a momentary look at her motte and thighs, and saw much blood on her chemise. Astonished, I looked at her, and saw tears running down her cheeks, but she made no noise, and in a leisurely way pushed her petticoats down. — “There's blood on your chemise,” — said I. “Hoh,” — said she, sharply but sulkily. — “You are either poorly or we fucked today for the first time.” Her whole history seemed to be known to me at once. — She never answered, but struggling, sat up, and I by the side of her.

Now I kissed, and kissed her, without hindrance. “Tell me all about it, my darling.” — But she would not — even when my fingers were on her quim, which she now permitted there, but in a way which seemed as if she thought it hopeless to try to prevent me. — “Your face is so dirty, look,” — indeed it had become like that of a dirty, blubbering child. — “Get up and see,” — getting up and looking in the glass. — “So it is

— may I wash it.” — “Wash yourself all over, my love.” — I poured out water for her, she washed, and brushed her hair, and then was a very handsome girl.

— “Shall I wash your cunt for you.” — “Hoh —if ever I heard such a thing,” said she, quite startled, and she colored again. Then she sat down, and tears came into her eyes, which she let me kiss away, sitting by the side of her with my prick not now stiff, yet swollen, and dangling before her. I kept it out intentionally.

— She sat sullen, silent, staring at the fire, evidently thinking, and taking no notice of my tool.

I was getting impatient for results, though my lewed courting was pleasant enough. — “Have a glass of wine,” said I, opening the bottle. — Without a word she took one, and then another quickly. Still she was unsociable, tho now looking at me, instead of at the fire, but she seemed to take no notice of my prick. — I began pulling up her clothes. — She resisted. “Come on to the bed, dear.” — “No, I won't.” — I tried to pull her up from the sofa, but she resisted that violently.

“What nonsense, I shall leave you if you won't. So put on your bonnet, for they won't let you stop without me, and where are you going then?” — “I don't know.” — “Then don't be foolish, take off your things, and let's get into bed together, I'm sure you've been fucked. — Come, dear.” — She sat without movement, and I sat down again beside her. Soon after, she let me pull her back on the sofa, and begin feeling her thighs. Then I got to her cunt and began frigging her, half laying on the sofa beside her. “I'm so sleepy,” — said she again, and her eyes seemed closing and her face assumed the stupid expression, which I first had noticed in her. Was this all sham? — passed thro my mind.

Kissing, coaxing, rubbing gently through thighs tightly closed again, on a scarcely perceptible clitoris, asking her all the time to come to the bed with me, and getting no reply, I again rose. — “If you won't, I shall go, for if you stay with me here all night, we are going to sleep together. If you won't, let us go, and I'll leave you where you like.” — “Oh, don't — don't.” — “Well, you can go home.” — “I won't.” — “What will you do?” — “Don't know, and don't care, drown myself,” — said she in the same sullen, determined manner, yet with a sob as if choking with suppressed emotion. — “Don't be foolish then, and let me do what I want.” Then I sat down again on the sofa, and without hindrance began frigging and kissing her as before. All was now quiet. At length voluptuous feeling came over her, as I knew by her manner (for I have frigged many women now), and that she was half way to a spend. “Come to bed love, take off some of your things. — We will sleep together tonight, and I will see what's best to be done for you tomorrow.” She made no reply, nor looked at me even.