We went to a small ball, which my uncle and other cousin had not accepted. Hannah's white shoulders and breasts enticed me. I waltzed with her, the smell of her flesh upset me. “What a shame we can't kiss each other, as we used,” said I, when waltzing. “So it is,” said she, laughing, “for we are cousins and there would be no harm, but people might make mischief.” After supper I danced again with her. “I can scarcely keep my lips from your shoulders,” I said. “Be careful, don't hold me so close.” My prick was stiff, and I had pleasure in the idea of its being close up against her. She would dance with me no more that night. Her mother had whispered to her not to do so. — In the carriage going home, I rejoiced in the warmth of her limbs against mine, moving them gently up against her — as I thought without her noticing my little game — and I rested my hand on her knee whilst talking as if without intention, and so on, indulging in voluptuous feelings which touching a pretty woman always gave me, and thinking about her cunt, till my prick was well nigh bursting.

The next day, a man called on us who invited me to sup with him at *** and I accepted meaning to have a woman there. After luncheon, I went with my aunt and cousin to the town of D* * * *n shopping. The carriage was an open one. It was a nice autumnal afternoon and I sat opposite them, my right leg against Hannah's. I'll swear she was as lewed as I was, for the music, dancing, and champagne over night had excited her, and perhaps also my contact with her, for I was in an awful state of lust anticipating an evening's fucking.

My aunt's purchases just filled the spare seat by the side of me, and I moved to make room for them quite opposite to my cousin, and then her legs were closer to mine. Aunt then bought at a linen-drapers some flimsy, light article of large size, “Put it in the carriage,” said she to the draper; and to me, “It won't annoy you, it's so light.” It hid our legs, and we went home, I indulging in the warmth of Hannah's against mine, which I closed delicately on hers. Hannah was very gay and laughed at every thing I said, till aunty wondered what she saw to laugh at so much. The pressure of my limbs against hers made her, I believe, half hysterical with want of fucking.

We had dinner, and my aunt went out directly after-wards to see a friend close by who was very ill, and she took a servant to escort her. — I prepared to go out to ***. Hannah went to the drawing room, and sat on the sofa doing fancy work. It grew twilight. — “I'm going out,” said I, “to D***n.” “Are you not tired? I am, quite hot, quite feverish,” said she. She looked so nice, that I put down my hat and sat besides her on the sofa talking with her. A slight autumnal gust rose and it grew chilly: I got close to her. She laid down her work. “Let us kiss,” said I, “for we are cousins,” and I put my arm round her waist and kissed her. She gave me one without any hesitation in return, and then I took a dozen. “I don't know what Charley would say if he knew it,” said she. “Neither of us will tell him,” I replied and I pulled her to me, and kissed again and again. “Oh, don't,” said she, giving herself up to it tho, and letting me kiss, and giving me even some in return, but saying, “Don't now, we mustn't.”

Then lewedness made me forget all in a desire to talk to her of baudy things. As far as I recollect the having her body had not even then entered my mind, but I thought of what I had seen in the hayfield, and longed to tell her. I felt on dangerous ground, was nervous, but the desire was irresistible. — Putting one hand on to her thigh gently outside her clothes, “What a difference,” said I, “there is between your thighs now, and when I saw them eleven years ago; they are three times as large.”

“What?” said she, laughing in an astonished way. “What? How do you know about the size of my legs? Do you know what you are saying?” I cuddled up to her, I pulled her to me, and whilst she kept saying at intervals, “Oh, what a shame,” — I told her in a whisper the story. I used no strong words, tho what I said was quite unmistakeable. I am master of that kind of language, and she knew I had seen all. — “Your thighs were not bigger than your calves now are, and Fred said — shall I tell you” “Yes.” “Don't be offended then.” “No.” Then I told her. “Oh, what a couple of black-guards! I knew you were up to some-thing, I have often thought of it since; it's disgraceful, and you have no business now to tell me anything about it,” said she, with a sort of temper. The fog had thickened, the room was darkish, all was as silent as the grave. A desire to feel her cunt, to fuck her — a passionate desire to do so seized me suddenly. I thought not of who she was and who I was — my prick was stiff and throbbing. I pulled her to me and we kissed and kissed. “Oh, I can't breathe — leave off, Walt,” said she in a soft voice. “Let me love, — let us — who will know — let's do it,” said I, pressing her thighs, slipping my hand down towards her knee. “Oh, don't — oh, don't.” — A stoop, a lift, and my hand was on her naked thighs. She made a sudden at-tempt to push her clothes down, but it was too late, and struggled no more. — Her thighs were closed; I pushed my fingers thru the hair, they felt the soft clitoris, — then all is nearly confusion. I fingered away at it, that soft enticing rub, I kissed her, she kissed me, her head lay on my shoulder, she lay half slanting on the sofa, my left arm round her; I with-drew my hand from cunt for an instant, and pulled out my prick. — Seizing her hand, I put it round it, and my right hand resumed its place on her clitoris. “Oh, don't — oh, Walter dear — no — don't,” she murmured. I stopped her utterances with kisses, licking her lips, shoving my tongue into her mouth, laid her down into the sofa, lifted her legs on to it without resistance, and threw myself on to her. Her thighs opened wide for me, and in a minute Hannah and I were spending, in a family fuck. We had committed adultery without meaning it. A randier cock and cunt, both bursting with sperm and fucking essences, never joined together; they were near to each other and could not help fucking — neither of us was to blame for that consanguineous embrace. “Get up — oh, if the servants.” I was still up her smoothing her bum with my hands, kissing and tonguing her still, almost bewildered myself, and wondering where I was, so blissfully unexpected the affair had been. I uncunted and we sat on the sofa together. “Oh, if we should have been seen,” said she. — I had no fear. No one could be in the garden (the windows opening on to the lawn were however open), and the only possibility was one of the servants having come in whilst I was up her. But that was improbable; one was out with Aunt; the cook always went to her husband's rooms after dinner; the only one likely to come in was the parlor maid, — and she never came into the drawing-room after dinner till tea, or light, were rung for. I stole thru the big silent hall, opened one of the doors between the lobby leading to the kitchens quietly and listened. Two servants were talking to each other. Re-turning, I told Hannah, but she started all sorts of fears. “It's dark nearly. What will they think of our being here without lights? Oh, if they tell mamma. She is a little afraid of you Walt, and tells me to be cautious about you.” Much of that sort was said, all in a low tone.

We kissed and thought out a ruse. It was no time to think much, for Aunt might return at any minute. Softly I left the room, put my hat and stick on the hall table, went to my bed-room, took a pillow from the bed, put it under my head, and laid down on the sofa.

When Hannah had given me time to do this, she rang the drawing-room bell. The servant came. “What time is it?” “Half-past eight, Ma'am.” “How cold it is, shut the window, I've been fast asleep. Get tea, and lights, at once.” The servant shut the window and brought lights. “Did Mr.*** say when he should come home?” “He won't to tea. Only make tea for me. I dare say Mamma will have hers out.” “I don't think Mr. * * * is out, Ma'am, his hat is in the hall. “He went out directly after dinner.” “No, his hat is there.” “Go up and see if he is in his bed-room.” Up came the servant — knock, knock — knock again. “Ulloh come in,” said I, in a sleepy tone. Mrs. * * * wants to know if you would like tea, sir? She did not know you were within.” “Say yes. I have been asleep.”