Next day buying something, “Come Loo, and kiss me in the passage.” “I can't — he'll be going out at half-past eleven.” Excusing myself from accompanying my friends, I was at the lodgings at that hour. The servant above had then all the beds to make, and the aunt was cooking. It was risky, yet I had a brief talk with Loo in whispers in the passage, and kissed, and hugged her, and told her I had fallen deeply in love with her. I had not begun smut, but her bold manner made me wonder why I had not. That afternoon I overheard a quarrel between her and her aunt, and saw Loo wiping her eyes. Loo said to me when I told her what I had heard, that she wished she'd never come, and would sooner go to service.

I noticed also, for I was dodging in and out all day, and listening in the passage where I could hear much said in shop and parlour, what seemed to me a very familiar manner between the girl and the boy. One day he took her round the waist. She, seeing me enter the shop, pushed his hand away and boxed his ears. He stooped, pulled her petticoats a little way up, and then suddenly appeared very busy. Evidently she had given him a hint. It annoyed me, and I wondered if the boy had felt her.

I did not quite give up hopes of the maid, who looked five-and-twenty. I kissed her, and gave her a little present for cleaning my boots nicely. She took that fairly well. Then I felt for her notch outside her clothes. She repulsed me violently, and with a look which I didn't like. So for a time I desisted, but re-commenced, and at length kissed her every time I got her alone. My friend's daughter caught me at it, and her father spoke to me. He didn't mind, but his wife did, — I must take care, — it wouldn't do to let a young girl see that game going on. Nothing more was said, but I noticed that he and his wife looked after me. One night when we were walking out alone, he said, “You want that woman, — and a damned nice woman she looks, — if my wife wasn't here I'd try to get her my-self, — but for God's sake don't let either of the ladies catch you, — it won't do.”

The young lady's room was opposite to mine, and such was my insatiable desire to see females in deshabille or nude, that it passed through my mind to bore a hole (which I had done at foreign hotels) through her door, to spy her. I could have done so, but I did not, though I could not restrain myself from listening to hear when she piddled and a few times succeeded. Then I thought of her piddle and little hairless cunt, which gave me such pleasure, that I quite felt a liking for the girl, but not sexually, and brought her presents which pleased both her and her parents.

In a fortnight I had often kissed Loo, and pinched her bum till she said it was blue. I told her I should like to sleep with her, for I loved her, — this was on the first night she got out for a walk at dusk. I had heard her aunt say she'd keep a tight hand on her, and I found Loo was fast almost to a gallop. We walked and sat down on a beach-seat. “How can you love me? — you're married, — Mary heard Mrs. L**g saying so.” “I never said I wasn't, but I hate her, and do nothing to her, and love you.” “Oh! gammon,” she replied. I had now a little changed my opinion about the girl. She wanted to know the meaning of my “doing nothing,” was free in manner, and any delicate smut which I began using she answered frankly to. “Oh! I knows what you means well enough, but don't you go on like that.” I concluded she had been brought up with coarse people who spoke of all their wants, and acts openly, so that the girl saw no harm in such things. She had only been with her aunt that summer. She told me of her relatives, and where they lived in Northumberland, — there was a large family, — but that was all I could get out of her. “Yer don't want to call on em,” said she laughing.

All was soon finished with the servant. One morning I waited indoors in hopes of getting at Loo, and spied the servant as she brought a slop-pail to the closet which as said was close to the bed-room over the kitchen. When she came out I asked her into that room which I had never entered before. “Come here, I've something particular to tell you, — come.” Reluctantly she came in, then I kissed, and gradually getting to the unchaste, got my hand on to her cunt. “Be quiet, — you shan't, — oh! don't, — Mrs. Jones will be up to see if all's right.” “No she's out — oh! what lovely thighs, — what hair on your cunt — don't make that noise.” She resisted hard, and pushed down her clothes, at first spoke in suppressed tones, then louder. “You shan't, — oh! you wretch, — I don't want a dress, — you shan't, — oh! oh! leave off, —I'll tell Mrs. Jones, — I will.”

I desisted for a moment, but only to pull out my prick. She had taken up the slop-pail looking very angry. With prick out I rushed at her, she banged the pail down, I pushed her against the bedside, and got my fingers on to her cunt again. “Let me have you.” “Oh! — you — shan't, — I'll call.” “I'll say that you asked me in here.” “You liar, you beast, — I won't, — oh! hi!,” and she cried out so loudly that I desisted.

“I won't stop here any longer, and I'll tell Mrs. Jones.” She went out of the room crying and nodding her head furiously at me. There will be a row, thought I. Later on I offered her two sovereigns. “Don't say anything, — you'll only lose your character if you do, — I've done you no harm.” Indeed I rather funked the affair. She took the money without a word, and pushed me off when I tried to kiss her, and I never got at her again. Two days afterwards she left, — she was only a weekly servant. I don't think she ever told about me, — she said she didn't like the place.

Chapter XXII

Loo on the beach. • The shop-boy' sattempt. • Caught at the water-closet. • A knowing one. • The gay sister. • Success despairs of. • Over the china-shop. • Virginity slaughtered. • Alone in the lodgings. • The bed-room on the stairs. • Poking like blazes. • A gamahuche. • Aunt at market. • Clever dodges. • Naked in bed. • Homage to Priapus. • Belly to belly. • Belly to bum. • She on he. • The hand-glass. • Am I with child? • I leave M**g**e. • Sequel.

I had no one now but Loo. She had gone out one evening without leave, and met me. Her aunt scolded. I got very warm in my hints and words. She laughed at them, but still I hesitated, she was such an odd, unusual girl. I did not know what to make of her, and my failure with the servant made me cautious.

It was slow I found being always with my friends, the lady didn't like my taking her husband out of a night without her, so though dining with them I went out by myself, but usually came back justwhen the shop was being shut up, to catch Loo, — even if I went out afterwards.

The night after the new servant came, I left my friends at a concert, and went home. Entering I heard voices wrangling, and stealthily crept as near the partition-door as I could. Loo and the boy were scuffling. One second I couldn't hear a word, the next minute everything. “Don't, — leave off, — I won't let you,” — then a chair or something made a noise. “Oho,” cried she, — “shan't.” “I've felt it, — ain't it hairy?” chuckled the boy quite loud. Another scuffle. “I'll tell aunt, — don't, — oh! the lodgers will hear.” Again a scuffle. “Oh! — now — you — shan't.” “Cunt,”

“Oh” — “Prick,” — a slap. One of them banged right up against the partition, something dropped, and all for a moment was silent. I mounted the stairs out of sight, and listened. The door opened, the two came out at the same moment, and the servant, who had not gone, came out of the kitchen. “I dropped the candle, and couldn't see, and jumped agin the door,” said the boy. “You're a stupid clumsy,” 'said Loo. The boy went out of the house like a shot, the servant and Loo into the kitchen. He's been feeling her cunt, — perhaps she him, — the little bitch had been fucked, thought I.