We all stand. None of us can sit. Taelyn is on the phone with someone—I assume Josephina Steel—and from what I can gather, Noah is with her and baby Patrick.

In about an hour, the door opens and a doctor walks out.

“River is asking for Xavier and Finn. Sonya is asking for no one, but she is going to be fine.”

“I’d like to see her for a moment,” Taelyn says quickly.

“She’s trying to rest, but I will allow it for a couple minutes.”

Xavier and I follow Taelyn and the doctor through the doors and down the hall.

When Xavier and I walk in the room, River is out of his mind, high on pain meds.

“I’m so fucked.” He laughs and runs his right arm over his hair. “I need surgery, pins and rods, and—”

“You’ll be okay, man. You’re alive; that’s all that matters,” I say, sitting next to him.

He busts out laughing. “I’m not sure you’ll want me to be fine after the little fucking PI over there gets to you.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Xavier chuckles at him.

“I’m the motherfucking joker.” River pulls up his sleeve. “And you”—he points to me—“are not. Light and dark, black and white, you and me, bro.”

The doctor comes in and says they are ready to take him up to surgery.

“You and me, River … you and me.” I smile and nod. “I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry I sent you to take her home.”

“Just get the fuck out of here,” he says to me with a disgusted look on his face. “You won’t be sorry.”

The nurse puts something in his IV that almost immediately takes him down about ten notches.

“Light and dark, black and white,” he says to me right before he says, “Jesse was mine, too,” and passes out.

Xavier looks at me as they wheel him out of the room. “What the hell is he talking about?”

I shrug as rage boils inside of me.

Noah is going to stay with Taelyn for tonight since they won’t let me leave, and I have never left him with anyone but Margie. I hope he won’t be scared. Then again, if he saw me right now, he would certainly be afraid.

I look up to see Finn slide through the door before he shuts it behind him. For the first time, I am truly afraid of him.

I close my eyes tightly as tears fall down my face, listening to him sit, yet he doesn’t say a thing.

I wish he would leave. I wish I had never come here.

“You awake?” he asks quietly.

“Please, just don’t.” I sob into my hands.

He sighs. “Don’t what? Ask if you’re okay? Tell you I’m sorry for putting you in his vehicle? Ask you how long you knew about”—he pauses—“him and her?”

I should answer him; maybe then he will go away.

I wipe away my tears. “He has a joker tattoo. The joker is mentioned in the book. I didn’t realize that’s what she meant. Your tattoos weren’t mentioned.”

“I didn’t have any then,” he says quietly.

“Until I saw it, I never put it together that her dark knight and white knight weren’t two different moods or a poetic reference. They were two different men. She loved both dark and light, and there was never a mention of whose child she was—”

“You okay?” he asks, cutting me off.

“Been better, been worse,” is all I say.

He looks at me and shakes his head then stands and leans toward me.

“Please don’t hurt me.”

His body stiffens, and he looks at me like those words wounded him. Then the door opens, and a nurse walks in. I am relieved someone else is in the room.

She looks at him then me. “Something for the pain yet?”

I shake my head, and she sighs. “Push the call bell if you change your mind.”

I nod, and then she walks back out the door.

“Sonya, take something,” he almost pleads.

“I can’t,” I say.

“Why?”

Taelyn walks in the room and looks at me then at him and back at me. Once I shake my head at her, she nods once and then looks back at him.

“Are you staying?”

He shakes his head. “She needs something to help her sleep. She is refusing pain meds and—”

“You can take something, Sonya. It’s okay.”

I ignore her and ask, “How is Noah?”

“He’s asleep at our place. Joe said he fell asleep on the couch. He’s fine. I will bring him by in the morning.” She leans down and whispers, “Tell him,” in my ear before kissing my head.

I shake my head again.

“Tell me what?” Finn asks.

“Please, just go. I’m tired. Just … go.” Fear of him and want for him doesn’t mix well.

He walks slowly toward the door then looks back. “I’m sorry.”

His head hangs low as he walks out.

Taelyn looks at me. “You’re gonna have to face the music soon, Sonya. Get some sleep tonight. I’ll call you in the morning before I bring Noah by.”

“Keep him safe, please, Taelyn. Keep him safe.”

“Of course.”

***

I wake up, and I swear I can still smell him. The nurse comes in and checks my vitals, telling me I will have a hard cast put on my leg in a couple hours. She also suggests I take something for the pain.

“I’m fine.”

She shakes her head. “The word is stubborn, not fine. Pregnant women take pain pills that don’t pass through the placenta, and you are so early that the baby is in a bulletproof case. They are going to set your leg, and it’s not going to be pleasant.”

“I’ll take that into consideration,” I say with a nod.

After she leaves, Taelyn calls.

“Good morning. I have a little boy who would love to see his mom. Is it okay if—?”

“Yes. Yes, please. And he needs a booster seat; he’s not tall enough or heavy enough to—”

“Xavier is already on it. He’s, like, the safety police in the family.” She laughs. Then I hear Noah laugh in the background. “He is, right?” I can tell she’s asking Noah.

“Uh-huh.” He giggles.

“How long?” I ask anxiously.

“Half an hour max.”

“Perfect. Taelyn, I don’t know how to thank you. I am so grateful for—”

“That’s what family does, Sonya. We are one, big, dysfunctional family that functions. Does that even make any sense?” She laughs.

“Thank you.” What a horrible situation to be in, love pouring in and wanting to just run as fast as you can to get away, while you have a broken leg.

I sit back and try to get comfortable. It’s impossible, though. Then I look up and notice Finn standing there. Fear teases me, but his eyes make it nearly impossible to be afraid.

“You’re pregnant?” he asks, unmoving.

“How…? What…? I—”

“I’ve been in the hallway all night, Sonya. I heard her say it.” He motions his head in the direction of the nurses’ station. “Tell me I’m wrong.”

“You’re scaring me.” I almost stutter when I say it.

“I’m scaring you?” He’s pissed, but then it’s as if he changes his mind. “Oh. Oh, fuck. Jesus—”

“Please leave. Please leave, because—”

He holds up his hand, stopping me. “Just answer the question. Are you having my child?”

“I am.” I swallow. “I didn’t know … I don’t know if … I was in an accident, and I don’t know what—”

“You’re afraid of me?” His voice vibrates the air when he speaks.

“I’m terrified of you,” I admit. “Completely and totally terrified.”

He closes his eyes and shakes his head, then walks out.

When Taelyn and Noah arrive, I feel relief sweep over me.

“Wow, Mom, you got boo-boos.”

“I do, but it’s okay. Climb up here and snuggle me. I missed your snuggles.”

“I missed you, too, but Momma Joe is a super snuggler.”

“I’m so glad.” I laugh as he climbs up on my right side, the side that was bruised badly from my body hitting the passenger door.

“I’m sorry you got hurt, Mommy.”

“Accidents happen, Noah, but I’m gonna be fine.”

“Better than fine,” Taelyn says. “Tell her the big surprise, Noah.”

He grins from ear to ear. “I can?”