Andrew and I had been twiddling our thumbs for the past hour, waiting on news about Sumiko. When we brought her into the E.R, she was straddling the line between life and death. For a terrifying moment there, I thought I’d lost her. The doctors zapped her chest and got sinus rhythm after she flat lined for a full ten seconds. Whatever heroin she shot into her veins was potent. As the doctors wheeled her back through the swinging white doors, Sumiko’s arm slipped off the gurney, bringing forward a memory of my dead mother getting removed by the paramedics. She’d looked a lot like how Sumiko did. Losing another person to drugs would have caused me to run away to the woods and became a hermit—the world too cruel of a place to live in.
Andrew returned from his trip to the vending machines with a bag of mini Oreos and a hot chocolate. He set the chocolate fest onto the side table. “Breakfast of champions.”
Pulling my knees to my chest, I cocooned myself inside my coat. “Thanks.”
“Do you want me to ask the nurses for a blanket?”
“No, it’s fine. I’ll survive.”
Andrew plopped into the hard plastic chair next to mine. He stretched his long legs out in front of him and watched the Telemundo soap opera blaring on the television. Sneaking a side-glance, he looked as exhausted as I felt. Once Big Ted had the check, Andrew and I were supposed to have a clean start. No family drama, no drug dealers, no death threats, a normal healthy relationship. I should have known that wouldn’t happen. Normal didn’t exist in my vocabulary.
“Hey, are you ok?” I asked softly.
Andrew tore his attention away from a woman getting slapped on the screen. “I’m fine.”
“Are you sure?” I pried. “My life isn’t the easiest to handle. If you want to leave, you can. I won’t hold it against you. Shit, I would leave if I could, but Sumiko is my sister and she needs help. I’m going to put her in rehab come hell or high water.”
His brow furrowed together as he attempted to follow my train of thought. I longed to smooth away the lines on his forehead, but instead kept my hands in my lap.
“I told you once and I’ll tell you a thousand times in order to get it through your thick skull. I’m. Not. Going. Anywhere.” Andrew emphasized each word. “Is that clear? You can’t get rid of me, Haven.”
While clear, it didn’t make sense. Andrew had the looks of an Abercrombie model and had droves of women that would love to date him. Why did he choose me? My mistrustful, independent personality usually scared guys away.
Andrew grinned. “What did I say about thinking too much?”
“I just don’t get it.”
“Get what?”
I threw my hands in the air, exasperated. “Why don’t you leave? It would be easy. We haven’t known each other for very long and you can go meet a nice woman like a preschool teacher or a nurse or something. Chalk up this period in your life to lapse of judgment.”
He threw the questions back in my face. “Do you want me to leave?”
The thought of Andrew being a stranger caused my heart to collapse. I wanted to him with every bone in my body but I didn’t deserve him. That’s what it came down to. I didn’t deserve his love and unrelenting support. Girls who grew up like me didn’t get happy endings.
Andrew tipped my chin. Compassion churned in his dark eyes. “I have no idea why you keep questioning this connection between us. A picture of your soul now hangs in an art gallery because I wanted you to witness what I see. You don’t forget beauty like that. How can you?”
“You don’t want normal?” I breathed.
“Normal is boring.”
“My whole life I have strived for normal. I just don’t understand how you don’t want that.”
“Because I want you. I don’t care about some preconceived notion about what life should or shouldn’t be. Life is about the people you fill it with, the moments that happen, good or bad, and what you make of it.”
“But…”
Andrew shushed me by placing his lips on mine, my favorite way to get shut up. It was a quick and tender kiss and while the doubts still lingered, they were quieted for now.
“I’m gonna get some fresh air. Do you want to come?” he asked when we broke apart.
“I don’t want to miss the doctor. The nurses said it shouldn’t be long before there was news.”
Andrew glanced at the clock. “That was an hour and a half ago.”
“I have come to realize that hospitals work on their own time.”
Stretching his arms above his head, Andrew’s shirt rode up and flashed a tantalizing strip of skin. My skin heated as lust roared through my veins.
He quirked an eyebrow. “Unless you want to find a hall closet and get busy. I promise it will take five minutes max.”
Laughing, I shook my head. “We both know it will take longer then that. You are very thorough.”
“Hell yeah, I am. I’ll be outside if you change your mind.”
I watched Andrew’s sweet ass walk into the hallway and disappear around the corner. The doctor appeared soon after, clipboard in hand. His stern expression immediately caused me to jump to the worst possible scenario. My coat billowed open as I stumbled to my feet.
“Is Sumiko going to be ok?” I asked.
The doctor’s thick Russian accent butchered his words. “She is stable, but her body cannot take much more drug abuse, yes?”
“I know that, but she won’t listen to anybody.” For some reason, I felt compelled to defend Sumiko. “She has had a hard life and likes to self medicate with drugs. It’s the only way the nightmares dissipate.” My hands tangled themselves as the doctor’s bushy eyebrows hit his receding hairline. Judgment rolled off of him in waves. “You don’t understand,” I mumbled.
“There are no excuses when it comes to drugs,” he said sternly. “I’m going to recommend she check herself into a drug treatment center.”
“Of course.”
“She should be awake by now. Would you like to see her?”
“Please.”
Turning on his scuffed blacked shoes, I followed him to Sumiko’s room.
With her bleached blonde hair and pale complexion, Sumiko blended into the sterile environment. A heart monitor beeped steadily next to her. I wanted to ask a million and one questions but today wasn’t the day to get answers. Sumiko was a mystery. After knowing her for almost half my life, she still felt like a stranger sometimes. Just like my mother, I had no idea what nightmares Sumiko was trying to bury, but I’m sure most of it had to do with her father, a mean man who used his money to make up for his lack of heart. Sumiko got the brunt of his wraths while I was sent to my room. Covers over my head, I would try to block out the sounds of screaming followed by what could only be described as body meeting floor. To tamper the guilt for not intervening, Sumiko’s wounds would be tended by the first aid kid I’d kept hidden under my bed. I should have done more though. I should have blocked the blows, thrown a lamp, anything instead of hiding.
Sumiko stirred, tangling the sheets around her feet and moaned. The doctor mentioned she would feel like death warmed over when she awoke due to the withdrawal. I’m glad I wasn’t in Sumiko’s shoes.
Opening her milky green eyes, she trained her gaze on me. Surprise registered. “Haven?”
I threaded my fingers through hers and scooted my chair closer to the hospital bed. “Hi, how are you?”
“How do you think I am?” Tears ran down her cheeks. “I stole money, started using again, and lived in a cracked out stupor for the past two weeks. Big Ted gave me an endless supply. It was as if he wanted me to die.”
My hatred toward Big Ted multiplied. I shouldn’t have given him the money. It only allowed him to continue peddling drugs and screwing up young kids’ futures. If I didn’t though, Sumiko wouldn’t be lying here. She’d be on a marble slab in a morgue somewhere.