Upstairs, we’d stacked all her boxes in the empty corner bedroom. Not our old room—Let’s be new, I’d said. Half the boxes were open, clothes and books spilling over the floor.
“I’m helping,” Brandt said.
“Uh-huh. You snoop.”
“Takes one to know one.”
Ellis had painstakingly labeled each box—COMICS; FIGURINES; STUFF VADA SHOULDN’T LOOK AT BEFORE XMAS—and something in my chest went tight at that last. She bought me gifts, after telling me a million times not to get her anything.
I waded through the mess till I found BACKUP STORAGE. Still sealed.
“Got something sharp?” I said.
Brandt snorted, as if the question were absurd. He grabbed a folding knife off the bureau and sliced through the tape.
“She sent you for hard drives?” he said.
“Yeah. You know, those bugs with the site. Guess she needs some backed-up file.” Was I overexplaining? Shit. Which drive was it? These all looked the same. “On second thought, I think I will take a cup of tea.”
“We’re out of tea.”
“Coffee?”
Brandt leaned on the bureau. He started to cross his arms and then braced on a palm instead. His right arm wouldn’t bend far enough. “Let’s get breakfast together.”
Ellis swore her cousin had zero romantic interest in me, but he always seemed to be insinuating something. And only when she wasn’t present.
“Brandt.” I picked the external drive labeled R/S. Had to be this one. “You know that we’re, like, serious. Me and Ellis. We’re together.”
“I’m inviting you to breakfast, Vada, not my bed.”
Despite myself, I blushed. This guy unnerved me. I couldn’t figure him out.
“Got what I need,” I said, standing. “Thanks.”
He stepped away from the bureau, and as I followed him out of the room, my eyes fell on the knife he’d left behind.
A large Buck knife with gold caps and a woodgrain handle.
I stopped moving. Brandt didn’t notice for a few seconds. By the time he came back, I’d taken the knife and returned to the boxes.
“Forget something?” he said.
I smiled, the sultry smile I used on Ellis to get her to do what I wanted.
I cut into a random box and pretended to set the knife aside. It slid into my coat pocket.
My mouth was saying something about a favorite hoodie, mocking Ellis and her creature comforts, but my mind was playing a memory of wood shavings in the recycling bin downstairs.
I stood too fast, tried to brush past Brandt, but he caught my elbow.
I looked at the hand on me, his long, slender fingers. Thinner than Max’s. Refined, elegant bones. Almost feminine, like Ellis’s.
His eyes followed mine. Then our gazes rose, locked.
“Is everything okay?” he said.
where did you go?
is everything okay?
I slapped a big fake smile on my face like I did every day, as a cam girl, as a barista, as anything, because women are taught to smile, that smiling means men are less likely to hurt us.
“Everything’s fine, Brandt.”
I shrugged him off and walked to the stairs. As soon as I passed him my hand dipped into my pocket, gripping the knife.
He was slower than me. Bad knee. I’d pulled my boots on by the time he caught up.
someone i know used to be a star athlete.
golden boy. bright future.
“Leaving already?”
“Don’t want to keep Ellis waiting.”
“We’re still having Christmas here, right?”
He said it in such an unassuming tone that I paused to glance at him. “Sure. Why wouldn’t we?”
“No reason. I’m really looking forward to it.”
He sounded utterly sincere.
Like Blue had.
“I’ll see you later,” I said.
I dashed down the steps and was nearly out of sight when instinct struck like lightning.
I turned around. Climbed silently back up the steps, avoiding the boards that creaked. Pressed my face to the door pane.
He stood in the hall, thumbing his phone.
My finger was pressing the bell before I realized what I was doing.
Brandt opened the door, eyebrows raised. “Forget something again?”
“I’m such an idiot. I didn’t charge my phone last night.” I gave him that seductive smile. “Can I borrow yours a sec?”
I was taking it from his hand before he could agree.
I flicked rapidly through the recently used apps. The last thing he’d done was send a text to Ellis.
She was here. She knows.
I opened the dialer and tapped Ellis’s number, still smiling at Brandt. He watched me, not blinking.
“What did you tell her?”
The first words out of Ellis’s mouth.
I pulled the phone away from my face and hit END CALL.
“Voice mail,” I said.
My heart was beating so hard I could swear the air shook. I handed Brandt’s phone back.
“Vada—”
“Talk soon,” I said, whirling around. “See you.”
As soon as I was out of sight of the house, I ran.
I couldn’t sit still on the ferry. I paced the top deck, melting a trail of slush through the snow. My mind couldn’t settle on a thought, either. Images flickered, unprocessed. The knife in his hand. His cold green eyes. His mangled arm, scarred face.
this will change things between us.
So afraid of meeting me. Of showing me his face, his body.
I called Frankie on my very well charged phone. She was waiting to pick me up at the landing.
“Want to tell me what’s going on?” she said when I slid into the passenger seat of her SUV.
“Is Ellis at the house?”
“She went out.” Frankie frowned. “I need to chat, but she won’t answer her phone. What’s wrong?”
A fleece of snow layered the windshield between wiper strokes, a constant erasure and redrawing of the world.
“Frankie, I need to ask you a favor.”
She glanced at me over her sunglasses. “Yeah?”
“Can you trace some IPs from a certain client?”
“Is this about the bug?”
“No,” I said, then turned to her and said, slower, “Wait, what about the bug?”
“Do you think you’ve been compromised?”
“Compromised how?”
“Security-wise.”
“I’m not sure. What exactly does the bug do?”
She tsked, like my mother. “Didn’t Ellis tell you?”
Of course not.
“It opened some loopholes in our security protocols. Some cammer safety settings were temporarily disabled.”
Even though I knew, I said, “Like region bans?”
“Mm-hmm. It’s fixed now. But I can pull IP logs for you. Has someone been harassing you?”
I looked out the window, into the snow.
“Morgan?”
“No. It’s fine.” I smiled. “Probably just being paranoid.”
At the house I went straight to my room. Blood throbbed in my head as I kicked open my door, half expecting to see her. But the attic was empty.
I threw my bag onto the bed and flipped open my laptop. Plugged the external drive in.
it’ll change things.
You were right, Blue.
Ellis had partitioned the drive into two volumes: RYAN and SKYLAR. I clicked the latter.
It was copied verbatim from the original. I navigated through system folders, looking for something personal.
PICTURES.
My heart hung in my throat. There was a chance these photos would be Ellis. Some weird connection, some—
Folder after folder, all filled with the same girl: blond, skinny, pretty. I clicked through them rapidly.
Skylar was just some girl. Some random girl.
Why hide her? Why did it matter?
I scanned them again, sharper. High-res photos. Professional DSLR. I recognized these places. The forest and the shore. His wood-paneled bedroom, the band posters. Peaks Island. Ryan had taken these.
Your hand sees this. But your eyes see something different.
Stop seeing with your eyes, Vada.
Skylar was pretty, though she wore heavy makeup. Extremely skinny. Skirts, combat boots, beanies. Studded chokers and bracelets. Ryan wasn’t in any of the pics with her.