Our table consists of the Conquest Broadcasting nominees. In addition to me, there are several other stars, directors, and producers nominated, including Kurt Kussler director, Niall Davies. Also at our table is CBC production chief, Blake Burns and his lovely wife Jennifer, the head of MY-SIN TV, the women’s erotica channel that’s part of Conquest Broadcasting. We chat and I learn that several of her series are up for awards.
“When you have the time, you really must do one of our telenovelas,” she tells me over the salad course. “We’re putting Shards of Glass, another one of Arianne Richmonde’s erotic romances into development, and you’d be perfect to play the lead, Daniel Glass. Women love you. Oh, and by the way, I love Kurt Kussler. I so hope you win tonight.”
“Thanks,” I reply. “I’d love to be considered for the role if my production schedule allows.” So far, except for a short hiatus over the summer, the chances aren’t good.
She takes a sip of her champagne. “Oh, and I suppose I should congratulate you on your engagement. I’m glad it’s working out between you and Kat. More than you’ll ever know.”
Just like Blake, she calls my fiancée Kat. She’s a little bit more supportive of our nuptials though hardly what I’d call enthusiastic. There’s something unspoken. Do I really know the whole story? Maybe there’s more to learn, but tonight’s not the night.
Katrina is seated on the other side of me. After a very cold but cordial hello to both Jennifer and Blake, she’s been on good behavior. Thank God. Most of the time, to be honest, she’s been working the room, hobnobbing with every A-list celebrity, talking to reporters, and posing for photographers. And when she’s not up and about, she’s been tweeting non-stop, snapping photos, and taking selfies with her iPhone.
Comediennes Tina Fey and Amy Poehler are co-hosting this year’s awards, and they’ve had the audience roaring with laughter. Though they’re not on my memory radar, they’re two funny chicks. While their opening jibe about Bratrina becoming a popular baby name and their ensuing Kurt Kussler “Get it. Got it? Good.” spoof had me flushing with embarrassment, the audience was in stitches as was Katrina. The presenters, however, haven’t been as entertaining, and now they’re going through a phase of documentary film awards that I could care less about. Naturally, they leave all the big awards like mine to the end so viewers will stay tuned. I’m getting restless, plus Katrina is bugging me to take selfies with her that she can post on Instagram. No thank you. During a commercial break, I take a run to the little boys’ room.
There are a couple of men taking leaks in the bathroom, none of whom I recognize. I find an empty stall and sit down on the toilet seat. I don’t really need to take a dump. I just need a quiet place where no one will fawn all over me. I mean, it’s nice to feel the love, but it can get to be too much. And besides, there’s only one person I want to talk to. I pull out my phone from my trouser pocket and text Zoey.
Are u watching?
I hit send and wait impatiently for a reply. Finally.
Yes. I saw u on the red carpet.
:) Are u alone?
For some reason, I’m sorry I asked that question after I hit send. My pulse accelerates waiting for her reply.
No.
My stomach twists.
Who are u with?
It’d better be a girlfriend. Or her mother.
Someone really cute.
My blood runs cold. It’s her fucking boyfriend.
We’re cuddling in bed.
My blood sizzles.
WHO?
Teddy.
Jesus. A new boyfriend?
Teddy who?
Bear. LOL! We’re sharing a quart of Häagen-Dazs.
Relieved, I smile.
What flavor?
Coffee chip.
My fave. :)
I know. I stole it from your freezer.
I laugh.
U better replace it.
I will.
What do u think of the show?
Boooring! But Tina and Amy are funny.
Agree. What’s going on now?
They’re giving the Best Actress in a TV Drama award.
Who won?
Julianna Margulies for The Good Wife.
Oh.
BTW, where are u?
Men’s room.
Taking a dump?
No. Just texting u.
No shit! LOL!
:-D
Shit!
What’s wrong?
They’re about to announce the Best Actor in a Television Series…Drama!!!! They mentioned ur name!
Fuck!
I leap up from the toilet seat and dash out of the bathroom.
Jet-propelling myself back to the ballroom, I dig my hand into my breast pocket to retrieve my acceptance speech should I win. Except it isn’t there. I fucking forgot it!
My heart beats into a frenzy as I speed dial Zoey. Panicked, I shout into the phone. “Email me my speech!”
Silence.
“Zoey, what’s going on?”
“Hmm…can’t find it.”
“What?”
“It must not have saved. Just wing it.”
“Balls!”
“Oh my God! You just won. They’re looking for you! Hurry!”
“I’m almost there!” I end the call and slip the phone back into the pocket.
My heart is practically beating out of my chest as I race into the ballroom and sprint up to the stage. Applause and cheers boom in my ears. I can’t believe it. I won the Golden Globe!
Breathless, I accept the award from my presenter, Kevin Spacey. All eyes are on me. I take a deep, calming breath, but my heart’s still beating a hundred miles a minute. Clutching my award, I manage to get my brain to communicate with my mouth.
“WOW! This is amazing and so unexpected. Thank you members of the Hollywood Foreign Press. Um…uh, I also want to thank Conquest Broadcasting and Blake Burns for believing in Kurt Kussler…my incredible producer, Doug DeMille and his stellar production team…my talented, wonderful co-stars, Kellie Fox and Jewel Starr…my outstanding fellow nominees…my dear parents, Phyllis and Edward, and my mentor, Bella Stadler…and last but not least, I want to thank my beautiful assistant, Zoey Hart, for all you do for me. Love you!”
I triumphantly hold up the award and soak in the audience. Holy shit! A standing ovation! Everyone is applauding and cheering wildly except one person. Katrina. She’s in her seat, seething.
What the hell?
Zoey
Jumping up and down on my bed, I’m literally doing a happy dance. I don’t even care if I break a spring and the mattress crashes to the floor. I can’t believe it! Brandon just won the Golden Globe and thanked me on national television! In front of a gazillion people! Called me beautiful! And then said, “Love you.”
My cell phone rings. The strings of my heart go zing. It must be him. I hop off the bed and make a beeline for my phone. A tinge of disappointment. It’s Jeffrey. We’re on FaceTime.
“Girl, that was so exciting!”
“You’re watching the awards?” My TV’s still on, but I’m not paying attention.
“Of course. You’re practically a household name. You’re already trending on Twitter.”
I laugh and then laugh harder when he tells me about Katrina.
“Did you see the expression on Katrina’s face when Brandon thanked you?”
I tell him I missed that.
“Don’t worry. I recorded everything. There was a camera on her. Everyone in the audience stood up and gave Brandon a standing ovation except her. She was fuming. I thought she was going to throw a plate at the lens.”
My laughter dies down, but a question burns on my tongue. “Jeffrey, I have to ask you something.” I can tell him anything. And you can always count on a gay guy to tell it like it is. Brutal honesty.