I close the car door and slide my backpack strap on my shoulder. Nick looks up and ends his call. He hurries back to me and gives Matt a perturbed glance. I don’t want to make this awkward. “I can walk from here,” I tell them as I start towards the intersection. Nick tries to protest but I stop him. “I don’t want Katie hunting me down and killing me.” I’m only partially kidding. “You should stay.”
“Don’t even worry about that girl, she’s just putting on a show. We’re not together or anything.” Nick nudges Matt to back him up, but Matt just shrugs. His silence tells me he doesn’t want me to take the ride from Nick. Maybe he knows something I don’t.
“Thanks, but I’d rather walk.” The light turns green and I start across the street. “I’ll see you in class, Matt.” Nick looks disappointed, but Matt is smiling at me. Once I’m safely across the street I look back to make sure I’m not being followed. Nick is walking back into the Rack Room, but Matt is still standing in the parking lot, watching me. For some reason I feel safer knowing he’s there. I speed walk to the next light and exhale when I turn back to see the parking lot is empty. As much as I would’ve liked a walk with Matt or a ride from Nick, this is the safer decision. I’m all about being safe.
I pull a pillow over my head and try to ignore the incessant ringing coming from the desk. There is a girl in a bikini waiting for me in the dream I was just ripped from. My phone goes silent and my body relaxes back into sleep mode. Just as the world starts to fade, the ringing starts again. I jump out of bed and grab my cell. “What!” I scream, ignoring the caller ID.
“Dude, get up. I’ll be there in five minutes.”
I should’ve known it was Nick. No good morning, just get up I’m on my way. Only he can get away with this kind of shit. It isn’t just me—everyone obeys him. I like to think I’m different though, that he somehow respects me more than the other guys. I did save him from being kissed by Molly Wells in kindergarten. Even at five, she had a mustache. He still owes me for that one.
“Matty!” Ashley yells as she opens my door.
“Ash, a little privacy, please.” She pauses while I pull on a pair of jeans. “Ok, come in.”
She bursts in my room and jumps on my bed. “Mom wants to know if you’re coming with us today,” she asks as I leave the room to take a piss.
Damn. St. Joseph’s Hospital has a yearly ceremony for the volunteers, and this year Ashley is being honored. If it were me, I’d never step foot in that place, but she can’t stay away. Ashley had leukemia and is in her second year of remission. She spent half her life in and out of the hospital, so I guess it’s the only thing she knows. If she stays cancer free, she will return to school in the fall. I hope once she’s around healthy kids, she overcomes her obsession with the sick ones.
I return from the bathroom and find Ashley curled up in my bed. She’s fourteen, but seems so much younger. She’s the strongest person I know, yet she still seems so fragile, like a cracked windshield ready to shatter into a million pieces.
“I can’t. Nick’s coming.” I hate seeing the disappointment in her face. “I still don’t get why you hang out there so much. Isn’t it depressing?”
She throws aside my comforter and gets up. “Yeah, that’s why I do it. I try to make it less depressing. I wish someone would have done the same for me.” My little sister has the guilt trip thing down to a science. She snoops through a pile of CDs on my desk while I put on my shoes.
“Don’t you have a better way to spend your time? Wouldn’t you rather be outside?” I pluck a CD from her hand and put it back in the stack. She knows I hate when she touches my stuff.
“I go outside,” she protests. “The hospital has a really nice courtyard. You’d know if you ever visited me.”
Ouch. There is only so much guilt I can take. I’m about to call Nick and tell him I’m busy when I hear his car rumbling outside. Too late. I know it’s wrong, but its way easier to flake on my forgiving sister than it is to tell Nick I can’t hang out with him. Ashley’s already forgiven me for so much worse.
“Hey, I’ll make it up to you.” I grab my Stanford sweatshirt from the back of the chair and kiss Ashley on top of her head.
“I know you will.” She sits in my chair and spins around.
“Don’t steal my CDs and we’ll see,” I warn as I run out the door.
Nick is all smiles when I get in the car. “What up!” He holds out his hand and we perform the handshake we made up in the fourth grade.
“Where we going?” I ask, feeling shitty about missing Ashley’s day. This better be important.
“I need you to come to San Francisco with me.” Nick backs out of the driveway before I have a chance to object. “I’m meeting my uncle. We’re picking up some inventory.” Nick’s uncle Will is a mid-level gangster in San Francisco. He has a bar in North Beach that he uses to front his real business—weed.
“What the fuck. I don’t wanna get involved in all that.” The car rumbles to a stop at the light and I consider jumping out, but it seems like such a chick thing to do.
“How much weed are you holding for me right now?” Nick raises his eyebrow in that way he does when he knows he’s right.
Ok, so I have an emergency stash hidden under a loose floorboard in my closet. I sure as hell don’t want to know where it comes from or be an accessory in its transport from San Francisco to Eureka. “Dude, I can’t get busted.” I sound like such a punk.
“I got your back, Matty.” The light turns green and he stabs the gas.
Nick has never involved me in his business. “Where’s Arnie?” He’s the one that usually goes with Nick on these runs. Selling weed has always been Nick and Arnie’s thing. They’ve been doing it since the eighth grade.
“His old man is on his case about the army again. He’s got a meeting with a recruiter. But I also thought it’d be cool if we hung out today. It’s been a minute since just me and you kicked it.”
I smile, feeling weird that Nick’s comment makes me feel happier than it should.
As many times as I’ve been to San Francisco, I’m in awe as we drive through the city. I wonder if the people that live here appreciate this magnificent skyline. The symmetrical balance of the Embarcadero buildings offset the jagged tip of the Transamerica tower. I’ve always been intrigued by architecture. I seriously debated between architecture and law. Law won. I’ve wanted to be a lawyer since the first time I watched my father pick a jury. Plus, I suck at math.
Nick makes an illegal left from Columbus onto Broadway. I count at least three neon signs flashing LIVE NUDE GIRLS. Even though it’s the middle of the day, a couple of them have half-naked women standing in the door, coaxing people to join them inside. I fucking love this city.
Will’s place, the Lucky Charm, is one of the seediest-looking bars on the block. We find a spot right in front and park, but neither of us have the fortune in change it takes to feed the meter.
“Fuck it, we’ll just come check on it every few minutes.” Nick locks the doors and we head inside.
The Lucky Charm reeks of stale beer and cigarettes. Nick goes straight to the back room to find Will and I take a seat at the bar. I realize the twenty-one and over sign and the no smoking sign are just pieces of artwork on the wall when the Asian girl behind the bar offers me a beer, and the sweaty guy next to me lights up a Camel. I decline the drink, then step back towards the door to check on the car and get some much-needed fresh air.
Some chicks walk past and smile at me. They must think I’m twenty-one. I lean on the wall like I belong here and smile at the pretty brunette. I wish I was this confident yesterday after school. I wasn’t sure Dani would show, and then bam, there she was. We had a good vibe in class. She laughed at all my lame HTML jokes and always smiled at me when we passed each other in the hall. I have been wanting to ask her out for so long. She never seemed ready. The last couple of weeks I noticed her open up a little. She smiled more and she even asked me how my weekend was. I finally decided to make a move then I pussed out and sent the message instead of going to class. I should’ve had at least had her meet me alone, because having Nick beside me was like growing an extra head. He can’t help but suck all the attention his way. Then he opened his big mouth about the Rack Room and well, the timing didn’t feel right. I thought maybe Nick Marino’s charm had won her over. Then she shocked me and Nick when she decided to walk to work. I don’t think I’ve seen anyone, male or female, pass up a ride from Nick. Guys love his car and chicks love Nick.