Hale
Today, Em’s fifteen weeks pregnant and the past two and a half months have been the happiest months of my life. I’m so fucking ecstatic to be a father. I even got this book called What to Expect When You’re Expecting to read up on everything. Ember said if I don’t put it away she’s going to lock herself in the bedroom and not come out for the next six months. I just want to make sure we’re doing everything right. She can’t have fish or coffee, which did not fucking go over well. We’re heading to the doctor shortly to find out what we’re having. I’ve been patiently or not so patiently waiting for this day, for what seems like forever. I can’t wait to paint the nursery and move in. Everyone keeps asking me if I want a boy or girl and honestly? I don’t care either way. I want a healthy baby. I’ve started seeing a therapist in town for PTSD. After that night I couldn’t even look at myself in the mirror. I knew it was time to see someone. I couldn’t imagine ever hurting Ember or the baby even if I was asleep. The flashbacks happen more frequently when I’m tired or stressed and I never seem to be getting enough sleep. After a few days of Ember giving me the silent treatment, I called a buddy that served with me and he directed me to the right place. I didn’t think it would help at first, but the shrink is actually a retired vet himself, and I feel lighter every day walking out of that door. He knows what I’m going through; he’s been there and done it himself. Unlike a person who has never been in war and has no idea the lasting effects it truly has a man. Or any idea the type of scars our bodies hold inside and out. I’m going to see him until I can learn to live with myself, until breathing is easier. Ember has been the best thing to ever happen to me and I won’t let my fucked up mind lose her.
“Ember hurry up before we’re late!” I yell up the stairs. I hear her moving around in the bathroom, putting on makeup. I tell her daily she doesn’t need that shit. My woman is beautiful without a trace of that shit on her face. I take a seat on the barstools we just recently purchased and cross my arms over my chest waiting for her to come down the stairs. Once we found out we were pregnant, we decided that it was time to sell my dad’s house and move everything over here. Deacon is content staying with Ember whenever I’m not around and I didn’t want him to have to stay at the house by himself. I didn’t have much to move since I came here with a couple duffle bags, but we decided to donate all of dad’s old furniture to the church. It’s been on the market for a few weeks now, but we haven’t really made much of an effort to sell. We’ve devoted all of our time to making this house our home. We’ve bought new furniture and decorations that Ember insisted on, and painted our bedroom a tan color to match the new bedspread and sheets. It’s the only place that’s ever really felt like home to me. Laying my head down next to her every night is a feeling that’s indescribable.
She finally comes down the stairs. She’s just now starting to show a little. All I hear about how “fat’ she’s getting, but she’s so fucking beautiful it takes my breath away. My favorite time of the day is coming home and laying my head against her stomach. I feel like I’ve got it all.
“Ready baby?” I ask her as she makes it to the bottom step. She grabs her purse from the side table and slides her hand in mine.
“Ready.” I drop my head down and press my lips against hers. “I’m so fucking excited.” I grin.
“Hale Michael! You do realize that a child will repeat anything and everything that comes out of your mouth?” She slaps my arm playfully.
“Well seeing as how our baby isn’t even a full six months inside your belly yet, I think it’ll be a while before he’s able to pick up on that.” I open the front door, ushering her outside. It’s still pretty cool for March so I grab her coat from the rack and drape it around her shoulders.
“You need to wear your jacket Em, I don’t want you to get sick.”
“I know, I just forgot. Now, let’s go before we are late.” She leaves me standing there and climbs in the car. I open the door and get inside, “Says the woman who spent over an hour getting ready! All I had to do was throw my boxers on.” I tell her, cranking the car.
“Well if someone wouldn’t have decided I needed to be “thoroughly fucked” then I would’ve been dressed a lot earlier.”
“Not my fault you look so damn sexy in those yoga pants,” I tell her, grinning.
We pull up at the doctor’s office and I quickly get out to open Embers door and take her hand.
“I’m nervous. I don’t know why but I’m just nervous.” She says as we’re about to walk in the door. I pull her into my arms and give her a kiss that leaves her breathless. “Now are you ready?” Smirking, I open her door as she stares at me, blinking. I laugh and guide her through the door. We check in with the nurse and take our seats, waiting to be called.
“What do you think it is?” I ask her.
“I think it’s a girl. I don’t know, I just have a feeling. Mothers intuition?”
“Ember Dubois?” The nurse calls from the doorway. Fuck, I can’t wait till she has my last name. She grabs my hand as she stands and together we walk through the doorway. Following the nurse, we’re placed in a large room with a TV on the wall. I feel like a kid at Christmas, I’m so anxious.
“Okay Ember, I need you to pull your waistband down so I can see what we’ve got!” The nurse tells her as she applies some of the clear jelly to the wand. I scoot my chair closer to hers while she pushes her yoga pants down to her panty line. Her hand finds mine and she squeezes tightly as the nurse applies the jelly to her stomach and uses the wand to spread it around. We all glance towards the screen as our tiny little peanut comes into view. Ember’s hand squeezes mine as the heartbeat sounds through the television screen. God that sound never gets old. It’s like a fucking lullaby to my ears.
“Okay, let’s see. We just have to hope little one will cooperate with us so we can get a peek!” She moves the wand around until she finally stops when she has a better picture.
“Well, it looks like it’s a girl!” She says as Ember begins sobbing big fat tears and I jump from the chair yelling, “YES! Wohooo!!!” I don’t care how much of a pussy I look like right now. Daddy’s having a princess. I can hear Ember giggling behind me as I wrench the door open and walk outside.
“Guess what everybody?! I’m having a GIRL! I’m getting a princess!” I tell everyone who will listen. Claps and cheers breakout through the office and I look back at Ember to see her laughing as the tears stream down her face.
I walk up to her and drag her to me, slamming my lips down on hers. My tongue tangles with hers and I kiss the breath right out of her.
“You will never understand the beauty of the gift you are giving me, Ember Ann Dubois. Never. I love you, so fucking much.”
I hear a sniffle and see the technician with tears in her eyes. I laugh and apologize to her.
“No, you two are so obviously in love it’s just a beautiful sight. I’m going to get this out of your way so you can make it down to her doctor’s appointment. Let me just print a few pictures for you. Congratulations, you two!” She quickly prints out the pictures of my princess and hands them to us, exiting the room.
“I’m so excited I don’t even know what the fuck to do, Ember. I feel like climbing to the top of the world and screaming it to everyone.” I help her down from the bed as she rights her clothing.
“I can’t believe it, Hale. A girl! I get to spoil her with clothes and pink everything.”
“Now we can paint her nursery and pick out all of her bedding. Want to go when we leave here?” I ask her.
She laughs, “Slow your roll big boy. We have an appointment after this and I’m exhausted. We will go this weekend.”