“Hale... we’re having a baby.” Her voice is full of disbelief.
“We’ve been planning for this our whole lives, Ember. I told you I was going to marry you one day when I was 10 years old. It may not be what we had planned, but you know this baby is a blessing. It was going to happen sooner rather than later if I had any say so in it. I want to spend my life with you Ember, that’s never changed.”
Ember
We make it home around four in the morning. Dr. Reid assured me everything was fine, but if I did feel extreme discomfort and heavy bleeding to come back immediately. It’s still hard to believe that there’s a baby growing inside me... Hale’s baby. Two months ago I never thought I would be able to fight my way out of the darkness that surrounded me, and now I’ve been given a second chance at life. Life with Hale. And our baby. I’m sitting on the couch watching tv and Hale’s running around the house acting like I am incapable of doing anything. While it is sweet that he’s so concerned, I just want to take a second and enjoy this moment. I call his name and he comes bouncing down the stairs, taking two at a time.
“What? What’s wrong? Are you in pain?” He asks out of breath from sprinting clear across the house. Deacon and I just stare.
“Hale, I am okay. I want you to sit for five seconds and relax. It’s okay. I’m okay. The baby is okay. Everything is okay.” I lay back on the couch, and cuddle closer into the blanket. “I’m just tired and my head is hurting, but other than that I’m okay.” I tell him.
He reaches down and rests his hand against my stomach, “I’m just worried Sweet Girl. I want everything to be okay. Shit, I can’t even believe we’re having a baby. I just want to be the best daddy I can to my baby bean.” His words cause tears to well in my eyes. Jesus these hormones are ridiculous. Is it possible that he could be even sexier as a daddy? Bringing his lips to my stomach, he plants kisses all around causing me to giggle.
“I know you will be the best daddy, Hale Michael Jarreau. That little bean is going to love you so much.”
“Get some sleep baby. I’m moving things out of the spare bedroom. I want to move it all over to my dad’s house to get it out of the way. We need to get a crib, and matching furniture.” He says over his shoulder as he walks back up the stairs. We’ve known we were pregnant for all of three hours and he’s already working on a nursery. I don’t know whether to laugh or cry because I got so damn lucky.
The next few days pass surprisingly quiet and calm. Hale has to go back to work so I spend my days tidying and watching Netflix. I’m not sure what we’ve decided to do with school yet, but I think I’ll finish this semester out and then take time off. It’ll always be there when I get back. I’m meeting Blayr for a “girl’s day” shortly. Lunch and pedicures, which sound perfect right now. I’m craving Nachos and a snowball. Pregnancy cravings at their finest.
My phone buzzes with a text as I’m sliding my jeans up. I don’t even have to look to know who it is. Hale is having separation anxiety. Not really, but he’s made sure to text me at least once an hour to make sure I’m fine.
H- How are you baby? Make sure to take the vitamins they gave you.
Grinning I reply,
E- Yes daddy we are fine. I took them this morning with the orange juice you bought for me. About to meet Blayr for a pedicure and lunch. I put your roast in the crockpot.
H- I love hearing that word. Daddy. Be safe. I love you.
Sometimes I feel the need to pinch myself just to see if he’s real. We’ve been talking the past few days about him seeing a therapist for his PTSD. He still wakes up in a cold sweat and last night he had a terrible nightmare. I woke up and ended up rolling onto the floor, because I was so afraid. He felt so bad he almost cried. He says it should be something he could control, but I know that it isn’t. He needs to talk with someone about this and that’s the only way he will overcome this. I can’t imagine what he’s been through, I just hope our love will be enough to pull him through it. The doorbell chimes, pulling me from my thoughts and I yell for her to come in. The door opens and Blayr, six inch heels and all, comes striding through.
“I MISS YOU EMBER ANN!!” She screams as she pounces me for a hug. “I feel like since Hale has come back I never get to see you. I understand though. We need to make sure we drink lots of wine at lunch.” She laughs. I guess now would be the time to tell her I won’t be drinking wine or any other alcoholic beverage for at least nine months. She walks to the mirror that sits in the hallway and reapplies her lip-gloss.
“Hey B, can we talk for a sec?” I say as I sit on the edge of the couch. She takes a seat on the couch and crosses her legs.
“Okay, what’s up?’
“About a week ago I had to go to the hospital. It was around one am and I woke up having horrible cramps. I found out that I’m pregnant. About six weeks or so.” I tell her. Her jaw drops and she squeals, “I’m going to be an aunt!!! Ember this is so amazing! I am so damn happy for you and Hale. God if anyone in the world deserves it it’s you two.” She pulls me into her arms and I immediately burst into tears. I can’t control them anymore, they’re like a free flowing river anytime anyone says anything remotely sappy.
“I’m so excited B. I just keep thinking something will happen to take this away from us. We’ve had so much bad happen, I just want this to be the good in our lives.” I sob into her shirt. It’s an ongoing fear that I struggle with every day. The things we have sacrificed are things that can’t ever be replaced. But we can live for the future and that’s what I’m trying my hardest to do.
“Ugh, okay enough tears! We have to go shopping as soon as possible. I have to spoil that baby rotten. It’s my job.” She laughs through the tears that gleam in her eyes. I’ve always been a tiny bit jealous of Blayr’s flawless looks. She can roll out of bed and not shower for a week and still look like a runway model. Her blonde hair always falls perfectly straight and her makeup never has a smudge, but there’s never been a competition between us. She’s the most selfless, kind person I’ve ever met, and I am lucky to have had her through everything.
We decide on Greek for lunch and finally pull up at the restaurant shortly after the lunch crowd. I’m excited to spend girl time with her and even more excited for a salad. We spend the day together catching up on all that’s been missed the past few days. Now, we’re at home on the couch, and I’m currently sipping apple juice while she drinks a glass of wine.
“How are things with Nash?” I ask
“That is a topic I don’t even feel like starting on.” She says as she swirls her wine around the glass. “He’s perfect, Ember. I swear he is. He makes me feel like a queen, but he’s going back to Nashville soon and my life is here. We’re just keeping things casual.”
“Riiight. That boys is so in love with you B, even I can see it,”
“Not to mention we bicker over everything. He has the whole alpha male thing going on and naturally, I hate anyone telling me what to do so we argue over it.” Sighing, she sets her wine aside. “I need to get going. I have to be at the studio by six, but I will see you soon. I’ll come beat this door down, Ember Ann. Don’t make me!” Laughing we stand and she pulls me into a fierce hug. “You’re going to be a great mama babe, and I am so so happy for you and Hale both.”
I watch as she grabs her purse and tosses me a little wave before opening the door and disappearing outside. I sink down onto the couch and close my eyes, just taking a moment to rest. Being pregnant is no joke. I see the picture of Nan and I at the fair a few years ago and a pain hits my heart. I wish so much that she could be here. I miss her so much and she would be having a fit over me having a baby. The fact that I’m able to raise my little bean in the same place that has offered me so much love and happiness eases some of the pain of her being gone. I’ll miss her everyday, but at least the memories we made will live on… because of her my life was filled with happiness.