Running my fingers along the dresser I see the picture of Nan and I at my graduation. She’s holding me tight against her, her smile shining. I run my finger over her face as the tears begin to fall from my eyes. I bring my hand to cover my mouth and try to hold the sob from escaping. God, I don’t know how to live without her. She’s raised me pretty much my entire life and my heart hurts knowing she’s gone. Sinking to the floor, I lean back against the dresser and close my eyes, not bothering to wipe away the tears. I hear the door open and quickly shut, and I see Hale walk through. He walks up to me in long strides and uses both arms to gather me off the floor, setting me onto the old twin bed.

I hear him moving around the room, and then it’s dark. I feel the bed dip and him slide in beside me, his body warm and familiar. He drags me against his body, settling his arm around my waist and his lips against my hair. There are a lot of things I haven’t experienced in life. There are things I don’t understand, like Nan dying. But if there’s anything that I do know, it’s that I belong with Hale Jarreau. His soul was made to fit with mine.

“I love you.” I whisper to him.

“I love you, Sweet Girl. So fucking much it takes my breath. I’m not going anywhere Ember, I’ll be here forever. I swear it to you.” His arms tighten around me as if to prove what he’s saying. As if his touch is the answer.

Hale

It took all of ten minutes for her breathing to even out and her body to relax, finally in a deep sleep. I clutch her tighter to me and press kisses against her hair. She wrecks me. I swear she owns every fucking piece of me. All the fucked up pieces of me. My sweet girl is my salvation. If there is any chance of ever having a normal, peaceful life, it’s with her. I don’t know what the next few days will hold. Who knows what’s going to happen to the house, and neither of us have read the letters Nan left. I don’t think she could take it right now. Fuck, I don’t know if I could take it.

I doubt there’s any chance of sleep gracing me, but I’ll lie here all night if it’s just to hold her. The little moans she’s making in her sleep are making my dick hard as a rock, wrong time and place, but fuck, I can’t help it. She brushes against me with her plump little ass and what am I supposed to do? Groaning I separate myself from her slightly, not wanting to stir her from sleep. I’m sure she would appreciate my dick grinding against her at a time like this. Jesus Hale.

I quietly get up from the bed and reach for the quilt at the bottom of the bed, covering her body with it. I take a second to glance at the walls that are covered with our memories. The time in life that was so innocent and free. The only care in the world was if Dad was going to be home that night and if so, Nan’s house was an escape. I never had the chance to tell Ember, but Nan was the first one I visited when I came back to Dad’s. I talked to her for hours, only leaving when it was almost midnight. Even then, I wished for more time with her. She told me to face Ember with courage, not to hide behind the problems and demons I carried home with me. I know she’s looking down at us, smiling that ultimately she was the one to bring us together; not that there was ever truly a question that I was coming for Ember.

“Hale?” I hear Ember whisper softly from the bed.

“Yeah, baby. I’m here. I was just looking at all these pictures.” Walking back towards the bed, I sit on the edge, looking over at her body bathed in the moonlight. She rolls over to face me, bringing her hand to run across my jaw.

“I like this.” She says, running her fingers over the stubble resting on my jaw.

“Well I’m glad that you like it.” I lie back down beside her and pull her body against mine. She smells like rain, and something that belongs just to her. I’ll never forget that smell as long as I live. I swear when I would lay in the barracks I could close my eyes and smell her. I could never get her off my mind, she was a constant fixture; the only peace I experienced for so long.

Running my fingers through her hair, I struggle to find the right words. I don’t know how to make this pain any easier for her, even if there were right words to say.

“I know it’ll be hard Em, but tomorrow you need to decide what’s going to happen to the house. Nan left it to us both. I would never make a decision without you and I’ll support whatever you decide. I know it’s the last thing you want to think about baby, but we can do this together... And no, we haven’t talked about this, or us or any of it, but I won’t leave you, Em.” Pausing, I lean down and press my lips against hers. “I know I hurt you Ember, and fuck I’m moresorry than you know... I just have demons that I have to deal with. I have shit to work through that you can’t ever imagine and I just can’t stand the thought of tainting all of your goodness with the fucked up shit that comes along with me. I tried so hard to stay away from you. Every waking moment you consume my thoughts and I just couldn’t Ember, it’s like the night chasing the day... Seeing you on the floor in that hospital brought me to my knees. I can’t stand the thought that something could happen to you and I’m not there to save you. While I was in Afghanistan, you’re the only thing that kept me sane; the only thing that gave me hope in the pits of hell. I wish I could say that I left it all over there, but I didn’t, fuck not even a little. It haunts me Ember, every fucking day of my life. I’m working through it as hard as I can, but some days I worry I’ll never have peace back in my life. The only peace I ever feel is with you. I know I fucked up baby, but you’re it for me. I’ll spend every day for the rest of my life proving that to you if you give me the chance. I know things aren’t the same, but I still feel the same as I did when we were ten. I want to know you again Ember. I want to take you on dates and hold your hand... and I want to know all the things that make you laugh, even the things that make you sad. I know I’ll fuck up along the way, but know it’s because I’m trying to heal myself, but never doubt what I feel for you is real. You fucking own me, Sweet Girl. Every piece of my black heart belongs to you, for as long as you’ll have it. And even if you won’t, I’ll spend the rest of my days loving you.” My chest feels lighter after finally telling her everything I’ve been holding inside since I saw her lying lifeless on that floor. Her eyes shine back at me with tears, the blue like a faraway sea and she pounces, her hands grasping both sides of my face, pulling me to her and sealing her mouth to my own.

Ember

I never expected for those words to leave his mouth. Sure, he’s thrown his I love you’s around a few times, but never did I expect the depth of what he had to say. As the words left his mouth, all I could do was bite my lip to keep the tears at bay. They welled behind my eyes, begging for release. For so long I have craved those words, they have haunted my dreams. Those unruly locks I wanted to run my hands through, begged for my fingers. His top lip was fuller than his bottom lip and each time his tongue darted out to wet them, I clenched my thighs together. We’ve endured so much in the year’s together, heartache, separation, pain, revenge... But the one thing that would never change is my body’s need for his. His body played mine like a well-tuned instrument.

As soon as the words leave his mouth, I’m on him, his lips against mine; drinking in the taste I’ve so desperately craved. My body fits perfectly against his and I can feel his erection digging into my stomach. He truly has no idea how long I’ve wanted this.

Hale

Fuck, I feel like I could cum in my pants like a fucking teenager. Hearing her little breathy moans and exhales are enough to drive me over the edge. I bring my hands from her hair, down her sides and pull her hips against mine. My dick rubs against her stomach and I feel my balls draw up tight. Fuck, I’m really going to embarrass myself if I don’t control myself.