“Liv!” I shouted, mortified. I immediately heated, starting in my cheeks. I knew I was blushing furiously. My eyes darted up to Devon, but I couldn’t look at him. I did sleep in his shirt, it was true. It was also mortifying.

   “You sleep in my shirt?”  His voice, even over the music, sounded soft and sort of gentle. It wasn’t critical, or even playful. He wasn’t making fun of me. So I answered him honestly.

   I shrugged. “It’s pretty big, so it works as a nightie.”

   Before he could respond, I steeled as Liv curled up around his large, muscled arm. “Devon was just going to take me to the dance floor.” Her eyes were dreamy, probably a mixture of lust and drunkenness.

   “Well, have fun dancing. I’m probably going to head home soon.”

   “M’kay,” she slurred. “Remember your rape whistle.”

   I laughed because that was a typical, snarky Liv remark, but Devon’s brow furrowed.

   “You’re not going to walk home alone, are you?” He sounded concerned.

   “Well, yeah, actually. I am. Don’t worry though, Liv and I took a self-defense class fall term. No one’s gonna get the drop on me. Plus, I have pepper spray.”

   “Let me see your phone,” he demanded, but in a weirdly nice way.

   “What?”

   “Let me see your phone.” He held his hand out and looked at me expectantly. I sighed but complied, digging around in my purse and finally handing him my cell phone once I’d located it. He immediately started thumbing it. “Text me when you get back to your room safely.” He held my phone back out to me.

   “Are you serious?” He couldn’t be serious. He just stared at me, his hand out in front of him, my phone resting in his palm. I could have sworn he didn’t even blink. “I don’t need another father. I have one already. And he lets me stay out past dark and everything.”

   “Devon, I wanna dance,” Liv whined, still clinging to his muscular and attractive arm, batting her eyelashes at him.

   “Just text me, Evelyn. I’d say text Liv, but she’s too drunk to remember where she put her purse.” He shook my phone at me again. I reached out and took it, but huffed out a breath so he knew it was under protest. “You’ll text? I just want to know you’re safe.”

   Some part of me that had been angry just moments before melted a little at his concern and I relented. “I’ll text.”

   I walked home that night in the dark and alone, but I was smiling the whole way because I knew he was waiting for my text. Devon was huge, but he was sweet, and for some reason that combination of traits made him undeniably attractive. He’d give you the shirt off his back and make sure you got home all right. But I got the feeling he could also protect someone if they needed it. Not only could he, but he would without hesitation.

   Something about him called to me. Opened me. Woke me up.

   And even though my stomach was still doing the flippity thing as I sent him my text to tell him I’d made it home safely, I knew it was something I couldn’t hold on to or hope for – that I would be the person he’d be opening up for or waking up for – because he was with Liv at that exact moment. And even if I thought I could compete with Liv, I wouldn’t want to.

Chapter Two

Present Day

   “Ruby. Jax. It’s time to wake up, guys,” I said gently as I flipped on the light switch, just like I had done every school day for the last three months.  And like most days, neither one of the kids budged. They slept like rocks and woke up slower than molasses. I walked to the foot of Ruby’s bed and sat down slowly, trying not to jar her.

   “Ruby, sweetie, time to get ready for school.” I reached out and rubbed my hand gently down her back, feeling her finally wake up a little underneath my touch. “Come on, Rubster. Time to wake up.” I watched as she stretched, her head of brown, curly hair emerging from under the covers, little hands reaching out as if to hold on to sleep a little bit longer.

   “Aunt Evie?” she asked, her voice heavy with sleep.

   “Yes, baby?”

   “How many days until summer break?”

   I laughed. Ruby loved school, but she loved sleep more. “Quite a few, honey. You’ve got two months left.” A loud groan came from under her blanket. Then I heard her brother grumble too, although, he was less resistant to waking up.

   “Jaxy, you awake?”

   “Yeah,” came his little voice from the other side of the room. When Liv and Devon had first gotten married, they purchased a smaller, two-bedroom house. That had worked fine for them for a while. A couple years later, however, when Jaxy was born, they started to feel just a little cramped. When they finally moved into a bigger house, Ruby had cried and cried when they told her she was going to get her own room. She was devastated she wouldn’t be sharing a room with her baby brother any longer. So, just like any parent trying to deal with a four-year-old’s tantrum, they gave her what she wanted. Ruby and Jax had shared a room since his birth and Liv and Devon figured eventually one or both of them would want their own space. When that time came, there was a spare bedroom waiting for one of them.

   “Okay, kiddos, let’s get up and get going.”

   This was our routine. Every school day, I came over to get the kids ready in the morning. Devon was here, but he had to leave for work before the school bus came. Before, Liv would have been here doing this – being a mom – but I stepped in after the funeral as a way to help. Liv had been a stay-at-home mom and loved every minute of it. So, in her absence, Jax had recently adjusted to going to preschool. Another heartbreaking change to his regular routine. But he was a trooper. Both of them were.

   “You guys get dressed and meet me downstairs for breakfast.”

   I had just finished packing Ruby’s lunch when I heard the unmistakable sounds of Devon coming down the stairs. Longer strides, heavier footfalls. It was only moments before I saw his frame fill the doorway from the living room to the kitchen.

   “Good morning, Evie,” he said when he saw me. That morning, not unusually, there was a smile on his face. It wasn’t the best smile I’d ever seen him wear, but he was slowly improving.

   “Morning,” I responded, smiling back at him. He turned sideways to squeeze between the kitchen counter and me, and I had the same thought I’d had for ten years whenever he was close. I remembered him as he was the first time I met him, shirtless and huge. I hadn’t known it at the time, but he was a player for the college football team, which explained his size. After college, however, when his job became more of the suit and tie variety, his bulk went away. He was still tall, and still very much an overwhelming presence, but he wasn’t nearly as huge as he used to be. What I’d seen from summers at the lake house, Devon was still built and still had every muscle imaginable, they were just less enormous now.

   “You’ll be here when Ruby gets off the bus this afternoon, right?” he asked as he grabbed a mug out of the cupboard.

   “Oh.” I paused and turned to him. “Remember last week when I told you I couldn’t be here this afternoon? I have a meeting with a client. Remember?”

   “Shit,” he whispered, closing his eyes. I hated this. I hated this part. The part where I could see the ache in him, could see how much he missed his wife. I knew that was what was going through his head. He would first berate himself for not being able to remember our conversation, and then he would think about how none of this would be a problem if Liv were still alive. I hated that even though I did everything I could for him, for his kids, I was never enough.

   “I can cancel,” I said quickly, trying to smooth over the situation, to fix it before it caused him any more pain. “Or reschedule. It’s really not a big deal.” I waved my hand, as if I could magically erase the agony that came with losing his wife and all the pain in the aftermath. If I could have waved it away, I would have. Devon had suffered a lot in the last three months and sometimes, I was at a loss as to how to help him. But I could cancel my meeting.