“Oh, that’s more than okay with me.” He leans into me, cupping my face in his hand. “I do believe that’s the first time you’ve asked for my permission.”

“I think you’re right.” I tilt my head and kiss him. It feels amazing to know I’m the only girl pressing my lips to his. No more Meredith. Our path is clear. Of course it leads to Tori, but I’m choosing not to think about that until Saturday. I have five days to enjoy this. To bask in Toby’s lips.

He deepens the kiss and tips me back on the bed. He’s leaning over me, his weight pressing down on my body. His fingers tickle my stomach and I laugh.

“That wasn’t the reaction I was going for.”

“Sorry, but you tickled me. What did you expect?”

“To give you chills. To drive you crazy. Not for you to laugh.”

I pull his lips back to mine. His kiss is hungry and I can barely breathe. I turn my head, gasping for air. He buries his head in my neck. A moan escapes my lips, and he takes that as encouragement. I feel his fingers unbutton my jeans. This can’t happen yet. Not until everything is out in the open. I push my hands against his chest. “Toby.”

He lifts his head and looks at me. “What’s wrong?”

“I’m not ready. We just got back together, and we haven’t even told Tori yet.”

He sits up and runs his hands through his hair. Is he mad at me? He can’t be. No way could he expect me to jump into bed with him this soon.

“I’m sorry,” he finally says. “I didn’t mean to…I just got caught up in the moment.”

I sit up so we’re shoulder to shoulder. “It’s okay. I missed you too this past week, but you know I’ve never…” We talk in a lot of unfinished sentences these days.

“I know. And I’m more than willing to wait. It’s just been a crazy day. I wasn’t thinking.” The disappointment on his face isn’t lost on me.

“Do you want me to go?”

He turns his head toward me. “No. Not even a little bit.”

“Okay, good.”

He stands up and gets his guitar. I’m expecting him to get his iPod, but instead he just sits down and plays. It’s not a song I’ve heard before, but it’s beautiful. I close my eyes, listening to the melody. And then he starts singing. The words are beautiful too, especially in Toby’s deep voice. I’m swaying to the music until I hear my name. Oh my God. He wrote a song for me. My eyes open and I see him staring at me. He’s singing to me, pouring his heart out. I recognize the words because they describe me and my life. And that’s when I realize Toby’s crush on me might actually be bigger than my crush on him. He’s been watching me. He knows me. Really knows me. A tear trickles down my cheek as he plays the last chord.

“That was…I don’t even know what to say.”

“I was going to wait to play it for you, but now felt right.”

“I loved it.” What I want to say is “I love you,” but it’s still too soon. Isn’t it? Or does knowing each other for seventeen years actually make it perfectly normal to feel this way?

He puts the guitar down and walks over to me, pulling me to my feet. He reaches for my jeans again, but this time he buttons them. I’d forgotten about them. “Bec, I hope you know I never considered Meredith my girlfriend.”

I nod. “I know.”

“But I do consider you my girlfriend. I mean, if you’re willing to be.”

“Are you asking me to be your girlfriend?” My heart flutters. He’s willing to change the way he feels about relationships and titles for me.

“That’s sort of what the song was about.”

I replay the lyrics in my head. “Will you be my girl?”

He smiles. “Well, I can’t do the girl part, but change it to guy and my answer’s yes.”

I sigh, a content, couldn’t-be-happier sigh. “You’re incredible, you know that?”

“I know you are.”

I cup his face and kiss him. “And my answer is yes too.”

He wraps his arms around me and lifts me up. “Would it be really cliché if I spin you around?”

“Yes, but do it anyway.”

He does, and we both laugh and topple onto the bed. He doesn’t push any boundaries. We just make-out for two hours. Two really amazing hours.

“Tori is going to come looking for me if I don’t get out of here.”

“Five more minutes?” He kisses my neck.

“No.” I gently push him away.

He holds up four fingers. “Four more?”

“No.”

He lowers one finger.

I kiss him again, quickly, and scoot off the bed before he can get his hands on me.

“No fair.”

“See you tomorrow.”

He lies back on his bed. “I’ll see you in about”—he looks at his watch—“thirty minutes or so when I fall asleep.”

“Careful there. You’re starting to sound like you’re—”

“Falling hard?”

My heart skips. I wasn’t expecting him to say that. He sits up, swinging his legs onto the floor. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.”

“No. It’s okay. I’m just surprised. But not in a bad way. Not at all.”

“I’m going to say goodnight before I ruin the evening.”

“You didn’t ruin it.” He made it better. I don’t think either one of us is ready to say the L-word yet, though. “Sweet dreams.”

“That’s my line.” He smiles.

“Goodnight, Toby.”

“Night.”

I have to force myself to leave his room, and I don’t do it a minute too soon. Tori is right outside his door.

“I was just coming to see what was taking you guys so long.” She points to my hands. “No books?”

“Oh.” Damn it. “Toby found this great website with practice problems. We already did all the ones in this unit, and I needed some extra practice.”

She rolls her eyes. “Leave it to my brother to know websites that provide you with extra homework.”

I follow her to her room. “Well, I’m grateful.”

“So what do you think about him and Meredith breaking up today?”

I shrug. “I guess I kind of saw it coming.” Since I knew about it.

“Really? I didn’t. She got him to commit. I never thought that would happen.” She picks up the nail file and straightens the edge of her pinky nail.

“He’s changed.”

“How so?”

“I don’t know. He just seems different lately.” This might be the perfect chance to lay some groundwork for this weekend. Make her see what I see in Toby.

“You know he does play his guitar a lot lately. He’s gotten pretty good.” She puts down the nail file and looks at me. “Hey, did I hear him playing tonight?”

“Yeah. While I was taking that online practice test. The music helps me concentrate.”

“It’s weird because he doesn’t usually sing along. I’m surprised he’d sing in front of you.”

I shrug. “I guess he’s comfortable around me.”

“I thought I even heard him sing your name, but I must have been hearing things, right? I mean there’s nothing going on between you two. There couldn’t be. You both know how much that would piss me off.”

A lump forms in my throat. What am I supposed to say? I don’t want to lie, but she flat out asked. I swallow hard and clear my throat. “I wouldn’t want to piss you off.”

She nods, thinking I’m agreeing with her. Really, I’m letting her know I don’t want her to be mad at me for having feelings for Toby.

Chapter Twenty

“She’s going to hate us both.”

“No, she’s not. We’ll sit her down and make her understand.” Toby kisses me.

We’ve been meeting every day during fifth period again. I love the time together, but I can’t wait to get our relationship out in the open. I’ve had enough with hiding and keeping secrets, and I can’t take the thought of Tori never talking to me again. I need to make her be okay with this. Having the perfect guy shouldn’t come at the expense of my best friend.

I pull away and give him a stern look.

He groans. “Please don’t let her ruin the little time we have together.”

“It’s Thursday. The party is in two days, and we have no idea what we’re going to say to her.”