“Did Toby mention her to you?” She’s practically yelling into the phone, but her voice quivers like she’s holding back tears.

“She was my friend too, Tori.”

“Holy crap, Becca. I can’t believe you talk to Toby about me. This totally breaks the best friend code, you know.”

“And costing me a good friend doesn’t?”

“You don’t get it. Toby’s…” Her voice trails off.

“Toby’s what?” What am I missing here? What is it about Toby that bothers her so much, that makes her defenses go up like this? She’s keeping me in the dark and setting rules for me, and I don’t like it.

“Ugh! Screw this. I’m going to be late.” She hangs up without answering me.

I’m shaking with anger as I text Toby.

Becca: Let’s go jump out of a plane.

 

Thirty minutes later, I’m sitting in my room with my signed permission slip and still no Toby. Where is he? I try texting him again but get no response. Fed up, I get in the car and drive over there. Tori’s not home anyway and if Toby’s parents are there, I’ll pretend I have a question about trig.

Toby’s car is in the driveway when I pull up. This boy is so dead. I storm up the front steps and knock on the door. He answers, wearing nothing but his boxers.

“Oh.” I try to lift my eyes, but they’re glued to his blue-checkered underwear.

He laughs. “Sorry. I thought you were Jeff.”

“You’re in your underwear because you thought Jeff was on his way over?”

He laughs even harder. “No. I was going to get in the shower, but when you knocked I thought it was Jeff coming back because he forgot something.”

“Okay, that makes a little more sense. But where have you been?”

“Didn’t you get my text?”

“No.”

“That’s weird. I sent it about twenty minutes after we talked this morning.”

I pull out my cell and check my texts. “Nothing.”

He flips through his messages. “Crap.”

“What?”

“I sent it to Meredith by mistake.”

I try to stay calm, but my insides are like a volcano about to erupt. “You were texting Meredith?”

“Only to tell her that there was no chance of us getting back together or whatever we were before.” He runs his hand through his hair. “Of course, texting her, ‘Have to cancel, but we’ll hook up tonight’ might be a little misleading.”

“You should probably text her again and let her know that was a mistake.”

His fingers fly across the keys. “Done.” He puts his cell on the table by the door. “So, anyway, Jeff came over this morning because his dog was missing. We were out for hours looking for it. I just got back.”

“Did you find it?” I still can’t keep my eyes on his, and it’s taking all my control not to reach out and touch his abs.

“Yeah.” He motions upstairs. “Let me go put some pants on.”

“It’s okay. I should go.”

He takes my hands in his. “Please don’t.”

“Are your parents around?”

“No, they’re visiting relatives in New Jersey.”

Alone in his house and all he’s wearing is boxers. I swallow the lump in my throat, but I can’t do anything to calm the pounding in my chest.

He steps toward me, brushing his fingers across my cheek. “I’ll go put some pants on.”

I nod and watch him disappear up the stairs. I breathe again and sit down on the couch. I’m not ready for things to move that quickly between us. Sure I’ve known him for years, but we’ve only been hanging out like this for a little while. It still feels new to me.

He pokes his head around the stairs. “You want to come up?”

“How long will Tori be out with Ryder?”

He waves the comment away. “We’ve got hours. Don’t sweat it.”

I get up and meet him on the stairs. “What did you have in mind?” My voice squeaks.

He reaches for my hand. “Do you not trust me now that we’re completely alone?”

“No. I mean yes.” I sigh.

“Would you rather stay downstairs?”

“No.” I’m being silly. Toby isn’t going to tear his clothes off the second we’re in his room. He leads me upstairs, and I sit down on his bed like I always do.

“Music?” He turns on his iPod, and Mumford and Sons comes through the speakers.

“No way. You like them?”

“Yeah. Tori can’t stand them.”

“I know. She never lets me play them when she’s around.”

He walks over to me and takes my hand, pulling me to my feet. He sways back and forth. I’m not a dancer at all. I never know what to do with my hands, and I end up stepping on the guy’s feet. But dancing with Toby is different. My body responds to his.

“I can play this on the guitar,” Toby says, his lips brushing my ear.

“Will you play it for me?”

“Right now?” He tilts his head back to see me better.

“Why not?”

“Um, because we’re listening to the real Mumford and Sons, and they’re way better than I am.”

“I’ll be the judge of that.”

We stop dancing, and he gets his guitar from the corner. He sits in his desk chair and closes his eyes. He doesn’t play, just listens to the iPod.

“Do you want me to turn that off?” I get up and walk toward his dresser.

“No. It’s easier to play along with it.”

I stand there, watching him. Finally, his fingers move across the strings, and he’s playing along with the music. I sit back down on the bed, folding my legs under me. In all the time I’ve known him, I’ve never seen him play—only heard it through the door. Toby has never looked so sexy. And then he starts singing. My God, his voice! I melt into the mattress. I could listen to him for hours.

When the song ends, he opens his eyes and looks at me. “Nothing great, I know, but it’s fun.”

I get up and walk over to him. “That was amazing. You’re really good.”

He laughs. “You’re either being nice or you’re easily impressed.”

“Neither, actually.”

He puts the guitar down and takes my hands. I want to kiss him so badly, feel his lips on mine. I lean my head down and shrug my hands from his so I can tilt his face toward mine. He follows my lead and kisses me. Before long, I’m on his lap. His fingers work their way through my hair, down my back, and under my shirt. I can’t catch my breath. His kisses trail down my jaw and to my neck. I’m so done for.

My heart pounds in my ears. I pull his face back to mine before I totally lose control. I refuse to sleep with my best friend’s brother behind her back. That would be crossing a line I can’t come back from. I tilt my head back, separating from him.

“You okay?” He stares into my eyes. “I wasn’t going to—”

“I know. I just need a breather.”

“Okay.” He lets go of me, and I stand up, turning toward the window and wrapping my arms around myself.

“Are we crazy? For doing this?”

“She’s out with my best friend right now, doing way more than this.”

Was that a complaint about how little we’ve done? “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to freak out on you.”

He walks over and puts his hands on my arms. “That’s not what I meant.” He turns me around and smiles. “I’m good with this. Better than good.”

“How can you be?” Most guys our age wouldn’t be.

“Want to know a secret?”

“To be honest, I’m getting tired of keeping secrets.”

“Me too. That’s why I’m going to tell you this.”

“All right.”

“I didn’t just start having feelings for you recently.”

“You didn’t?” Could’ve fooled me.

“No. It was last year.”

“You’ve had feelings for me for a year?”

He nods. “I didn’t want to act on them though. I wasn’t sure how to deal with liking the girl I used to run around in diapers with.”

We both laugh. “Our situation is a strange one. No doubt about that.”

“But then Tori started talking about Ryder and hanging all over him, so I figured that meant it was okay for me to find out how you felt about me.”

“I’m glad you did. I’ve liked you for so long, but I would’ve been too scared to ever tell you. I’ve never been the girl to make the first move.”