His fists clenched by his side, ears red and lips tight. “You fucking took advantage of her on her wedding night?”

I put out a hand. “Calm the fuck down, West. Are you listening to anything I’ve said? Anything? I wouldn’t take advantage of her. I wouldn’t do anything to hurt her because her happiness is more important than my own. I’ve never felt like this … you know I don’t … I can’t …” I couldn’t even bring myself to say the words, so I took a breath. “Maggie is a singular event in my life. I want her. Forever.”

He shook his head. “I can’t fucking understand this. Does she feel the same way?”

“She said she did. We were going to tell you together when we came back from the Hamptons—”

He groaned. “Of course she was with you.”

I glared at him. “Is this really the worst thing that could happen? I didn’t fuck her and bail — I didn’t break her. I’m trying to help put her back together, for chrissake. I love her. I want to help her. What the fuck is the problem here?”

West was quiet for a moment, still angry, but he’d heard me that time. I took the opening.

“You know I’d never do anything to hurt you. I’d never do anything to jeopardize our friendship. Ever. I wouldn’t risk it unless I had no other choice. And I don’t have a choice, not when it comes to Maggie.”

He watched me.

I watched him back. “Do you believe me?”

His fist clenched again. “Yes.”

“Can you stop eyeing me like you want to hit me?”

He took a heavy breath and rubbed his face as if he would wipe the look away. “I need a drink.”

“That I can do.” I got up and poured us each a scotch.

West took his and sipped it. If it hadn’t been a three-hundred-dollar bottle, he probably would have slammed it.

I took a sip of mine and leaned on the counter. “Is she okay?”

He sighed and took a seat at the bar, looking tired. “It’s hard to say. She wasn’t busted up or crying or anything, which somehow makes me worry about her even more. I don’t know. We didn’t talk for long, and she wouldn’t talk about you at all, past apologizing for keeping it from me and asking Lily to get in the middle of it.”

“So you found out about Lily, huh?”

“Yeah, I didn’t handle that well either.” He took a drink and sat down. “I snapped at her and blew out of there. I was just so fucking pissed and shocked and … I don’t know. I hate that she kept that from me, but I get it. Y’all had me pegged right.”

“We didn’t want to tell you until we were sure we wanted to be together. I can’t say it was innocent from the start, because deep down, that first night, I knew. I just knew it was more than that. She needed me, and I saved her the only way I knew how.”

He nodded at his drink with a sigh. “I’m sorry I punched you.”

“I’m sorry I fucked your sister.”

He glared at me.

I smirked. “Too soon?”

West snorted and brought the glass to his lips. “It’ll probably always be too soon for that.” He knocked it back.

“So what now?”

He sighed. “I don’t know. I think we’ve gotta leave her be. Let her figure it out on her own. Be there if she needs us.”

I took a drink, hating the plan and knowing he was right. “I’ve got to at least apologize.”

“What for?”

“Chasing her. Pushing her. Trying to force her hand.”

He shook his head. “You can try to call her, but I don’t know if she’ll talk to you.”

“I don’t either, but I have to try.”

“Maybe sober up first. Don’t waste your only bullet because you’d been drinking scotch for …” he sniffed, “eighteen hours.”

I chuckled. “Probably wise.” My smile fell. “Do you think she’ll come back?”

He shook his head and sighed. “I don’t know, man. I hope so. I really do.”

CHANCES

Maggie

I TURNED THE PAGE OF Stardust the next day as I sat stretched out on my window seat. Our cocker spaniel Betty lay in my lap, breathing deeply as she slept.

Is this love, Tristan? I never imagined I'd know it for myself. My heart... It feels like my chest can barely contain it. Like it's trying to escape because it doesn't belong to me any more. It belongs to you. And if you wanted it, I'd wish for nothing in exchange - no gifts. No goods. No demonstrations of devotion. Nothing but knowing you loved me too. Just your heart, in exchange for mine.

I looked out my window at the red maple that was taller than the house, watching the helicopter seeds spin to the ground.

Just one heart in exchange for another. It seemed so simple, honest and easy. But it had to be equal. And whenever, however could you know that the person you gave yours to would care for it as they would their own?

I let out a breath, and my phone rang next to me. Betty’s head snapped up, her eyes still sleepy, and she looked around for only a second before dropping her head back in my lap with a huff.

My fingers went numb when I saw it was Cooper. I blinked at the screen for a moment, not knowing what to do. Knowing I was almost out of time to decide as it rang again. I took a breath and answered.

“Hey,” I said softly.

He was silent for a few seconds. “Are you all right?”

The sound of his voice nearly broke me. I closed my eyes and laid my head against the wall. “Not really.”

“I’m sorry, Maggie. For everything.”

“Me too.”

“I shouldn’t have followed you.”

“No, you shouldn’t have.”

“I just couldn’t let you go. I couldn’t let it end there.”

“I know.” I had no other words.

Silence stretched between us, and I could feel his questions. “There’s so much I want to say, and I feel like I shouldn’t say any of it.”

I looked out the window, wiped an errant tear from my cheek. “I can’t do this right now.”

“It doesn’t have to be complicated, Maggie. Just tell me that you believe me. Tell me that you want me.”

I do. “I can’t.” I pursed my lips to stop my chin from trembling. “I can’t say the words you want to hear, no matter how much I want to. I spoke too soon once, and it hurt us both.”

Silence.

“I’m broken, and I don’t want to hurt you again. The only answer I have right now is time.” Tears burned my eyes.

He drew a heavy breath. “Are you coming back?”

“I don’t know.”

“Well, let me know when you figure it out, okay?”

The seeds spun to the ground like tiny ballerinas. “I will.”

The pause was long, heavy with things left unsaid. “I meant what I said about being here.”

“I know.”

When he spoke again after a moment, his voice was tight. “See you around, Mags.”

“Goodbye, Cooper.”

I set the phone down, swiping at the tears on my cheeks, wishing things were different. But I was where I was because of the choices I’d made. It was my own fault.

Betty looked up at me.

I cupped her muzzle. “How about a walk, Betty-girl?”

Her ears perked up, nub wagging.

“Yeah, I could use the fresh air too.”

I slipped on a pair of flip flops, trotted down the stairs with Betty on my heels, and grabbed her leash from the hook in the entryway, trying to push everything away, leave it up in my room. As if I could turn my problems into a place. An object. Something tangible that I could bury or smash or drop into the ocean to disappear forever.

But that wasn’t how it worked. I just didn’t understand how it did work.

I clipped on Betty’s leash, and we took off, heading for adventure in the form of rogue squirrels and interesting smelling grass. Something about being outside made me feel a hundred times better — the sky, the trees, the air — even though it was already unbearably humid. My hair was so out of control, I looked like I was part sheep, and I started sweating the second I stepped through the door. But with me and Betty out walking through the neighborhood like independent women, I felt more like myself.