“We talked about this, Ken.” I set her plate full of square-cut peanut butter and jelly sandwiches in front of her just as a hard knock sounded on the door.
I debated answering because I wasn’t expecting anyone. After Kennedy had been kidnapped with no leads to who was responsible, I was being extra cautious.
When I picked up the large kitchen knife on the way to the door, I realized that paranoid might have been a better term.
Keenan and Keiran had suspected my father, but after damn near interrogating him, they laid it to rest. My father’s only crime had been his carelessness and putting business before his grandchild.
Greg and Vick had approached my father with false credentials as private investigators after ‘hearing about her kidnapping’ on the news. It had been a long shot, but one they lucked out on after his men had already been placed on another assignment concerning a business deal in Germany that my father had been cultivating for a very long time.
The only question now was who hired them to impersonate private investigators. We already knew why. Someone out there wanted Keiran dead bad enough to kidnap an innocent child, and without a name, he was still in danger along with Kennedy.
“Just a second,” I called when the knocking continued, becoming louder with each knock. I opened the door and stared at the person on the other side in surprise.
I wasn’t expecting him.
“Can I help you?”
“Yes, I’m here to install your new cable and internet service.” A middle-aged man in faded jeans and even more faded t-shirt with the cable company’s logo stood with a smile. I quickly slid the knife down my sleep shorts and pasted a smile.
“I didn’t schedule for a cable installation.”
The man frowned and then looked down at the tablet he carried. “Are you Sandy Chaplin? Apartment 203?”
“No, I’m sorry. That apartment is around the corner and two doors down.”
“My apologies. Have a great day.” He ambled off and I closed the door feeling silly. I had just made it back to the kitchen when the knocking returned. This time I left the knife.
I assumed the technician might have gotten lost again so my smile was ready when I opened the door. The person standing on the other side of the door this time swept my smile away.
My brain screamed at me to close the door and pretend it never happened, but I stood transfixed.
Keenan stood on the other side with his head down, drenched in rainwater. His white t-shirt was plastered to his muscular chest making his tattoos visible while his jeans hung off his hips in the way that I liked so much.
“Are you going to let me in or continue to eye fuck me,” he smirked. Instead of waiting for an answer, he took my hand and stepped inside, closing the door behind us. All the while, I stood with my mouth agape.
He’s really here.
“What—um… what are you doing here?” I had to clear my throat multiple times to speak intelligibly. I glanced toward the kitchen nervously and debated kicking him out. I didn’t want Kennedy to see him if he wasn’t here to stay…
What was I thinking? Did I want him to stay?
Kennedy had been depressed over Keenan’s disappearance and had only just stopped asking for him. For the longest time, she’d cry herself to sleep, and I didn’t understand even though I wanted to cry with her. She had only known him for a weekend.
Love didn’t kindle that fast, did it?
I felt like a hypocrite for even thinking it. Keenan and I had fallen fast and hard for each other. Why couldn’t the same be for father and daughter?
“A good friend of mine reminded me that I wasn’t fulfilling my promises. I realized that every promise I made, since I walked away from you four years ago, involved you. Even the promise I had made to my father before he died.”
“What are you talking about?”
“I’m talking about you and Kennedy and the very permanent fact that the two of you still own me.”
My head swam with the possibilities of what he could mean. “I don’t speak in riddles, Keenan. Why are you here?”
He ran his hands through his already spiky hair and blew out a breath. “I’m here because I want to beg… if you’ll let me.”
He seemed at a loss for words so I asked, “What do you want to beg for?”
“For you and my kid.”
I took a step back, letting my hand slide from his tight grip. Surprisingly, he let me go although he flinched from the loss of contact. “Are you actually asking for another chance?”
“No.”
“Oh…”
“I’m asking for you to save my life because with every breath in my body, I love you. I’ll love you until my last. Without you, I am no longer someone with a reason to live.”
“I’d like to believe that, but I can’t. You have a problem that I can’t overlook anymore. I can’t spend the rest of my life worrying that one day you’ll find the woman who is not only worth betraying me for, but is also worth breaking my heart forever.”
His eyes became desperate and frustration lined his features.
“I was filling a void created by my parents. I was invisible before you. I was unwanted and unloved. I lived that way until I found a way to fill it, even if they were only temporary fixes. I was an addict but not in the way that you think. I craved the attention and the intimacy I never had and was too stupid to realize the gift you gave me was far more precious. I wasn’t worthy of you, but you filled the void. And then, somehow, this image of my mother walking away from me forever became you. I was scared, Shelly. I was terrified that you would one day realize I was unworthy and leave so I found a way to fight the insecurity while holding on to you. It made me feel like I was in control, and that no matter what, someone would want me.”
“So I was replaceable.”
“No!” he shouted and I glanced nervously toward the kitchen. He lowered his voice and said, “Not replaceable. You were unobtainable.”
“But you had me.”
“I had my mother once too, and then I lost her.”
“So what makes you think it will be better now?”
“Because I realize my mother and father made their choices, but their choices didn’t have to reflect mine. I’m not afraid to love you anymore.”
“You didn’t even love me enough to fight for me. Instead, you ran away the first time I hurt you when I forgave you each time you broke my heart. I risked everything to be with you—my self-respect, my sanity, and my heart—and now you’re asking me to risk it all again?”
“If the risk means my surrender, then this…” He kneeled and my heart ricocheted around my chest. “This, Shelly, is me surrendering to you.”
“I, uh… what?”
“Princess,” he shouted. “Could you come here, please?”
Tiny footsteps sounded, but I was still frozen to the spot to react. “Keenan!” Kennedy ran into sight and launched herself into Keenan’s arms.
“I missed you,” he whispered to her.
She clung to his neck until he sat her on his knee. “Baby girl, I have a confession to make that you may not understand, but I need to do it anyway. Are you listening?”
She nodded and he cleared his throat.
“Four years ago, I hurt your mother really bad in more ways than one.” Kennedy seemed to understand because her face fell, but she continued to listen.
“I thought I could protect her from a really bad lady by doing something that I knew would break her heart. I took the chance to keep her father from taking her away from me because the bad lady knew we were naughty kids.”
He grinned at the last, and I cleared my throat.
“Anyway, the bad lady video recorded us with her phone when we did a naughty thing at school and threatened to show her father along with the whole world if I didn’t do what she wanted. She also threatened to fail her if I said no and failing meant your mother would have to go somewhere far away from me to finish school. I made a deal with the devil, and although I saved your mother from the bad lady, I lost her, too. I was selfish, Princess, and I took your mother for granted, but if you can forgive me, I promise to spend the rest of my life never taking her for granted again.”