“She’s three and as sweet and cute as a button, unlike her mother who is a viperous bitch.”

“Is that her?” She looked at me in disgust, and I couldn’t help but flip her off.

“No, she’s nothing to me.”

“Then why is she here just sitting there?”

Keenan’s jaw tightened, but the bitch was too busy sneering at me to notice. “Missy, if you don’t mind, I have another client in five minutes, but how about I take you up on that offer this weekend?”

“That would be great.”

“Cool. I’ll call you,” he said without looking at her. I rolled my eyes at the vision of her flouncing from the shop.

“You’re a pig. It’s a wonder you haven’t contracted something.”

“I’m always careful, Sheldon.”

“I can’t tell. You never use a condom when I ask you to.”

“That’s because you’re different.”

“A minute ago, I was nothing.”

“What can I say? I have to keep my clients happy.”

“In what way? With your dick? I don’t care what they say. A slut is a slut whether it’s a man or woman.”

“You don’t know what you’re talking about,” he gritted.

“I know you haven’t changed. When does it ever become enough for you?”

“Shut the fuck up, Shelly.”

“Tell me… how many women have you slept with since we’ve been apart? One a night? Two? Six?”

“Zero.”

Maybe it was the pounding of my brain or the hammering of my heart that caused me to misunderstand. I managed to bounce back from the shock of his answer and say, “Not only are you an unfaithful whore, but you’re a liar, too.”

“When have I ever lied to you? I may have kept my shit from you, but when you found out, I never lied so why would I lie now? I’m not looking for a future with you. I haven’t touched a single fucking woman in four years.”

So many emotions assaulted me at once. I swallowed the weight of it down, but it just kept coming back up until I puked my guts all over the floor. My dry sobs caused me to lose focus, and because of my spotty vision, I never saw him move, but I felt his hands lifting me.

“For fuck sake, Shelly. Breathe!”

CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO

KEENAN

I DON’T THINK I remember ever being this frightened. Not even when I met Keiran for the first time, or when I felt the first bullet enter my body and threaten to end my life. Not even when I was confined to a hospital to die.

“Shelly, please breathe, baby. Don’t do this to me.”

“Not… dying,” she coughed.

“Then what the hell are you doing to me?” I hadn’t realized I was shouting until her body flinched in my arms.

“Please, stop shouting.” She groaned and leaned against my chest. I briefly wondered how tight I could hold her without crushing her.

I’m losing it.

She possessed the power to drive me insane without doing much at all.

“Were you serious?” she asked after some time had passed. I continued to rub her back, hoping to keep her calm.

“What?”

“I’m your first?”

“Well, not my first. Remember there was—”

“Keenan.”

“Yes, you were my first and my last.”

“Why?”

I blew out heavily and thought about the last four years. “I got the urges, but I couldn’t do the deed. I don’t know why.”

“So you could be faithful to me when we’re not committed, but not when we were together?”

“What do you want me to say? Give me the right words and I’ll say them.”

“It doesn’t matter, and it’s none of my business. I shouldn’t have asked. Now, if you don’t mind, the smell of my puke makes me want to puke all over again.”

She slid from my arms, and I let her because I didn’t know what else to do.

“Where is the bathroom?”

I pointed to my office, and while she was gone, I gathered some cleaning supplies and cleaned up the mess. Once the floor was spotless again, I went to check on her.

I found her standing frozen at the entrance of the bathroom. Her hand was held tight over her mouth as tears streamed down her face. I stood confused and followed the direction of her gaze until my own landed on the sketch of her that took up most of the right wall. It was in clear sight of the bathroom and would have been the first thing she saw when she came out.

My eyes closed with regret over my screw up. She was never supposed to see that.

I cleared my throat, but that proved to be another mistake. The lost look in her eyes fucking broke me.

“Keenan… what is this?”

Didn’t she remember? She’d seen the sketch before. I woke her up to show her that night. It was when I found out how much of a grumpy sleeper she was.

“You know what it is.”

“It’s much bigger and it’s here. Why?”

“Why not? I drew it. It’s a good picture.”

“Don’t do this, Keenan. Tell me why.”

“My goal was to hate you and never remember why I ever loved you. Looking at the sketch helped. It reminded me how you took away the one person who ever wanted me and the first love I ever felt was real.”

“Keenan, please try to understand… you hurt me so much. Every time you were with them, I ached.”

“Well, then you should feel satisfied. You paid me back in full.”

* * * * *

The dim club lights and pounding music from all sides were exactly what I needed to hide in plain sight. Drinks came and went from shameless female suitors. Many I had no clue where they came from, but I didn’t want to care. I wanted to lose myself to the feeling of being wrong. The club was part dance and part sex with everything in between.

Everything goes.

Even murder.

I had my arm around the nearest brunette. I avoided blondes and anything that reminded me of the traitorous bitch who plagued my every thought.

After taking Sheldon back to my apartment and locking her in my bedroom again, I avoided her and as soon as night fell, I fled.

“Baby, you’re so tense,” the brunette cooed. Her hand trailed up my thigh and stopped just below my dick. “How about a blowjob?”

Four years ago, I would have found that type of slutty behavior appealing and dived right in. Now I only wondered why the fuck I ever looked her way.

Her long nails played with my zipper, and when I gave her a nod of approval, she lowered it and stuck her hand inside. When her fingers wrapped around my cock, I felt my skin crawl. I ignored her and sipped from my drink as she worked to make my dick hard.

Maybe I had whiskey dick.

Or maybe I wanted Sheldon.

Fuck it. I can’t have her anyway.

She made it pretty clear.

A part of me nagged to just let her go again, but knew it would be impossible to let her go and stay away this time. How could I, knowing she had my kid?

Shit. Kennedy.

I looked down at the woman who was still working to get me hard. “Enough.”

I checked the time and high tailed it out of the club, hoping I could catch her before bedtime.

The city was alive with people looking to have a good time to close out the weekend. Thirty minutes later, I was walking through the front door. I found Di and Kennedy camped out in the living room watching Jaws and eating ice cream.

“Seriously, Di?” She nearly jumped out her skin at the sound of my voice.

“Keenan!” Kennedy ran to me with her face covered in chocolate syrup. I caught her just in time and lifted her in my arms. “How are you, princess?”

“Fine. Where’s mama?”

Guilt over my lie returned full force, and I felt like an even bigger ass. Keeping them apart had officially topped the list of worst things I’d ever done. I may have been angry over missing three years of Kennedy’s life, but I knew Sheldon hadn’t purposely kept me away. I made that mistake alone by leaving.

“She’s waiting to tuck you in so I came to get you.”

“Really?” Di asked, earning my glare. “Look who grew a conscience.”