“We have to tell her soon.” My head turned toward the door where Keenan stood, his hair and body both dripping wet with a towel wrapped around his waist. “You’re drooling again.”

“Your dick is practically making a tent in that towel.”

“There is nothing practical about my dick, baby.”

“Why are you sweet talking me?”

“Would you rather I threaten and yell at you?”

“At least it would be real.”

“Then let me show you what real feels like,” he gritted as his eyes darkened to pitch black. I suddenly regretted what I’d said. It scared me how quickly he could change. “Let’s go.”

He turned away, assuming I would follow.

I did.

And I cursed myself the entire way to his bedroom.

He took a seat on the edge of the large bed and crooked his finger.

Stupid me followed.

“Face the wall.”

I did as I was told though my brain sent my body the command to run.

You can do this.

No matter how much he hated me, I had to remember that somewhere deep inside he was still Keenan. My Keenan. The Keenan who always had a ready joke and a loving touch.

Only… at this moment, here, together, he wasn’t my Keenan. He was my ruination.

I heard him move but somehow knew that turning around would be a mistake. The room filled with the slow and sexy croon of a man who sung about a lost love replaced with hate and sex.

“Dance for me.”

At his command, my hips began to sway. The sheer fabric he ordered me to wear did nothing to hide the curves I earned from my pregnancy. His eyes just before I turned as they scanned my exposed body told me he appreciated.

“Your ass is even more beautiful than I remember. And your tits…” His groan was low but perfectly audible. “You’re a woman now.” His warm breath whispered over my skin, heating me up, but at the same time, raising chill bumps. I never even heard him move. “Did my child do this to you?”

“What do you think?”

“I think you’re sexier than ever. Perfect even.”

His hand came between my thighs and slid up until his fingertips rested just underneath the flimsy nightgown.

“Perfect?” I could barely manage to speak the word when his fingers briefly strummed my sex before moving away as if it never happened.

“Perfect,” he repeated. “It’s too bad really.” A kiss on my shoulder left me needing more than just a promising threat.

“Why is that?”

“Because you won’t be when I’m through with you. I’m going to be the devil you made of me.”

“Maybe you were always this person, and the guy I fell in love with was the façade.”

He turned me around to face him with his hands on my hips. “Congratulations, Shelly. You’re finally thinking with your head.”

He pushed me back onto the bed and crawled on top of me. “It’s too bad your head isn’t needed for what I’m about to do to you.”

“I never said I wanted to fuck you.”

“You didn’t have to. Your body tells me everything I need to know.” He trailed his hand up my thigh and rested it just where my thigh met my sex. “Your pussy doesn’t lie either. I can feel all this heat between us right… here.” He trailed a finger down my sex and my traitorous body quivered.

“Because you don’t play fair.” I pushed the towel from his hips and he yanked the gown over my head. My hand immediately gripped his cock and guided him inside me.

“I never claimed to,” he groaned when he was seated fully.

“Then what do we do now?”

“We fuck.” His lips met mine at the same time he began to move inside me. My legs wrapped tighter around his waist, and I pulled him into me. His dark gaze pinned me to the bed just before his hands did. “Only I control this fuck, baby, so let go and let me.”

I had to grab onto his hips to handle the harsh but slow possession of his body. It was the same song and dance every time I gave into him. It was me fighting not to let him see how much I craved the surrender.

* * * * *

He rolled onto his back, taking me with him, and stared up at the ceiling. My limbs felt like rubber and my entire body ached from overuse including the forbidden parts.

Keenan had explored me thoroughly throughout the night. My mouth and ass had taken the brunt of his lust.

“Why did you change your mind?” I whispered into the dark.

“About?”

“Taking Kennedy away from me.”

“I never took her away from you, and even if I had, nothing’s changed, Shelly. I’m still the bad guy.”

“Protecting yourself doesn’t have to mean hurting others. You don’t have to be that cruel.”

“You want to know about cruelty? There is nothing worse than being in love with someone you want to hate.”

“What are you saying?”

“I think you know.”

I did, but some things were better left in the dark. I definitely didn’t want to believe it.

We each gave in to our private thoughts. The rise and fall of his chest was starting to lure me to sleep until my mind began screaming for me to ask the question that still stood between the two of us.

“Why did you fuck her?”

He was silent for so long I thought he might have fallen asleep until his heavy sigh told me he wasn’t. “Because I would have lost you either way. At least the way I chose I knew I could have a chance at keeping you and you would be okay.”

“What do you mean you would have lost me? Where would I have gone?”

“Let it go, Shelly.”

“I can’t do that.”

“You don’t have a choice.” I sat up and searched his face, maybe hoping he would give in, but his steely gaze met mine unwaveringly. “Drop. It.”

“One of these days, I’m going to finally accept that you will never stop being a coward.” I moved to my side and faced away from him while fighting back tears.

For the longest time, the only sound that could be heard was the sound of my incessant sniffling until he spoke so quietly I almost didn’t hear him. “You read those text messages but did you understand them?”

What?

“I read enough.” There weren’t many between them, and after four years, I could probably only guess that there were no more than a handful spanning two weeks.

“No, Shelly. You didn’t.”

* * * * *

FOUR YEARS AGO

“Are your parents’ home tonight?” Keenan nuzzled against my neck and groped my ass to lift me into him. We had just finished making out in the driveway

“I don’t know, but Dash could be back any moment.” I giggled.

“No, he won’t. He’s busy chasing Willow’s ass. I don’t blame him either.” I hit him on the chest and considered kneeing him.

“Don’t joke about my friends,” I warned.

“Baby, I was only kidding. You’re the sour apple of my eye.”

“You’re really asking for it tonight, aren’t you?” I meant it as a threat, but the lust in his eyes increased tenfold.

“I’m damn near begging for it, Shelly. Are you going to give it to me?”

“That depends…”

“On?”

“How well you beg.”

“I can beg very well, baby. If you take me inside right now, I can show you just how well I beg with my mouth on your pussy.”

We were upstairs and locked away in my room in sixty seconds flat. We continued to kiss with an intensity I still had not become entirely used to.

“Your lips taste like I’d died and gone to heaven, but your pussy will make me want to die for that little slice of heaven. Turn around, baby, and bend over the bed.”

I did as he instructed without hesitation.

“Lift your skirt and slide your panties to your ankles.” I felt awkward completing his instructions in my current position, but I managed it without embarrassment. “Good girl,” he praised. His voice sounded far away, so I turned my head to find him standing near the far wall, watching me with his ankles and arms crossed.

“Why are you playing with me?”

“I’m admiring. Playing starts now.” He shed his hoodie and shirt and knelt behind me. “Fucking beautiful,” he groaned before his tongue swept my sex.