“You didn't think we'd hit it off,” I interrupted. “You thought I needed to get laid and I'd think he was hot.”

There was a moment of awkward silence. “I thought you two would really like each other.”

“If you thought that, why didn't you ask him to go on a date with me? A real date. You know… boy meets girl; boy pays for dinner; boy and girl eat and decide if they like each other. Not boy gets paid to fuck girl because girl is too pitiful to get laid on her own.” I struggled to keep my voice down, all too aware that there could be students outside my door.

“Bree–”

I cut her off. “Look, Adelle, I know you thought you were doing something nice for me, but you should know me well enough to know I wouldn't...” I sighed. “It's going to take some time for me to get past this.”

“But you will, right?” Adelle actually sounded worried. “We're going to be okay?”

I honestly didn't know, but I couldn't tell her that, so I just ignored the questions. “I'll see you on Friday at L20.” I hung up before she could try to say anything else.

By Friday, I still wasn't sure if my friendship would ever be the same between Adelle and me again, but I was determined to at least try. I'd lost the small hope I'd had for renewing my faith in love when I found my mystery man. I didn't want to lose my best friend too. And despite what had happened, Adelle and I had been through a lot together. If there was any chance we could mend this, I had to try.

For the first few minutes, things were tense, but as Mindy steered the conversation to safe topics that got us laughing and reminiscing, I found myself relaxing. If neither one of us talked about it again, maybe we could pretend nothing had happened.

“Can I get you ladies refills?” Our handsome waiter smiled at us as he reached for our empty glasses.

We all nodded despite having already reached our usual three drink limit. Well, three for Adelle and Mindy. Two for me. Three probably wasn't a good idea after the last time I'd had too much to drink, but I needed to take the edge off. Mindy would make sure I got home safely.

Of course, that made me think about how I'd gotten home before and all of my good humor vanished. What would it have been like if I hadn't been so drunk the first time we'd met? Would I still have slept with Cade after our date if I hadn't had that prior connection to him? What if I had asked him to come upstairs that first night? Would he have refused, citing my inebriated state, but really refused because I couldn't afford him? Or would he have taken me to bed, made love to me...

I closed my eyes and pushed the thoughts out of my head. Cade had made it perfectly clear that he didn't believe in emotional connections or love. Sex was a purely physical act. Granted, it was one he was extremely good at, but there wasn't anything real there. The only way things would've turned out good would've been if I'd never agreed to let Mindy or Adelle set me up with anyone.

“The waiter's checking you out.” Mindy's voice cut into my thoughts.

I opened my eyes and looked over at her. “What?”

“The waiter,” Adelle said. “He's been looking at you all night.”

I frowned at her. Hadn't she learned her lesson? “He's probably still in high school.”

Adelle rolled her eyes, a familiar gesture that once would've gotten an affectionate 'f- you' response from me. Now, it just annoying. It was her blatant disregard of my thoughts and feelings on things that had gotten us to this place.

“He's serving us alcohol,” Adelle pointed out. “That means he has to be at least twenty-one.”

“And?” I raised an eyebrow and took another drink. At this rate, I was going to end up with another bitch of a headache.

“And you should totally ask him out.”

“Adelle,” Mindy spoke softly as she threw me a glance.

“I learned my lesson,” Adelle said. “I won't talk to him for you or try to give him your number. I just think you should find out if he wants to go out with you.”

“I'm not interested in a relationship right now, Adelle,” I said. “Or a fuck and run if that’s going to be your next suggestion.”

“I'm not saying you should move in together,” she persisted. “Just go out for coffee, see where things go.” She jerked her chin behind me. “He's cute.”

I glanced over my shoulder as the waiter walked by. She was right. He was one of those gorgeous golden boys who looked like he'd be home on a California beach. “That's not the point,” I said.

“It is so the point,” she replied. “Ask him for coffee and then take him for a ride.”

She was doing it again, pushing for me to do what she thought I needed to do and not listening when I gave my opinion. I didn't want to be here anymore. I raised my hand as the waiter walked by, signaling for him to come over.

“We're ready for our check,” I said as he approached. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Adelle open her mouth. I didn't know if she was going to protest me ending our night or if she was going interfere with my love life... again, but I didn't want to hear it. Words popped out of my mouth before I realized I was going to say them. “You have pretty eyes.”

Oh shit. Had I really just said that? I didn't even know what the hell color his eyes were? Was that the best line I could think of? It sounded like the kind of cheesy pick-up line men like Steven Danforth used on drunk sorority girls to get them into bed.

“Thank you, Miss Gamble.” The waiter smiled, but the expression on his face made it clear he was uncomfortable. “My boyfriend said you were a nice teacher.”

“Excuse me?”

The waiter shifted his weight from one foot to the other. “My boyfriend. Kyle Jamison. You had him last year for senior English. He was behind a year because of some health problems and you helped him get caught up so he didn't end up getting behind again. He's at Stanford now.”

Right. I remembered the young man. He'd been nineteen and desperate to prove he wasn't stupid. A sweet boy.

I forced a smile. “I'm glad to hear he's doing well. Tell him I said hello, would you?”

“Of course, ma'am.” He glanced at Adelle and Mindy. “I'll be right back with the check.”

I waited until he walked away, purposefully not looking at either of my friends. When he was out of sight, I stood. I felt a bit wobbly, but nothing I couldn't handle. “I think I'll be calling it a night.”

“Wait, Bree–” Adelle began.

“No,” I snapped. “I don't want to hear it.”

“We just want you to be happy,” Mindy interjected.

My mouth flattened into a line. “Right now, a long hot bath and a good night's sleep are what will make me happy.” I didn't wait for either of them to try to make more excuses. I didn't run, but I walked as fast as a graceful exit would allow.

The cool autumn air felt nice against my overheated skin and cleared my mind. I wasn't as drunk as I'd feared and I didn't hail a cab right away. A walk sounded like just what I needed. I was too far from home to walk the entire way, but the direction I had to go was well-lit and still very public at this hour. The physical exertion would be good for me, help me burn off the anger starting to bubble up inside.

Nothing had changed. Adelle and Mindy both still thought it was their responsibility to 'help' me, but neither of them seemed to think that help meant supporting the decisions I made. I wasn't sure why it had taken me this long to realize my friends pitied me, but recent events had made it perfectly clear.

I could see now, as I looked back over the years, how they'd felt that way even before Ronald left me. They'd pitied how I'd only been with one man, as if my decision not to sleep with as many men as possible somehow meant I was broken and needed to be fixed. Maybe not that extreme, but they seem to think I couldn't manage on my own and I needed their help. When the hell did fucking equal being okay?