“Your parents win,” I say, leaping onto the bed with a giant smile on my face.

“No talk of parents in bed,” he scolds, hopping up next to me. My veil keeps tickling his chin, so he leans up on an elbow and puts a hand on my stomach.

“You look so hot,” I tell him, scratching my nails over his smooth face. “Shave more often.”

“I thought you liked my whiskers.”

“Only when you’re going down on me.”

He laughs, tossing his head back to the mattress. “That didn’t take long.”

“What?”

“For you to get naughty.” He hoists himself off the bed, then reaches out to help me. When I’m upright he grasps my hips and pulls me in to him, sending butterflies with jetpacks zooming around in my stomach.

“We’re going all night. Then all day tomorrow. Then the entire week of this honeymoon, because Lord Landon has been very blue. He misses his home.”

“That is the sexiest thing you’ve ever said to me.”

Landon chuckles and squeezes my waist twice. I take his hands and squeeze back. He looks at me as if I’ve fallen from the stars, his gray eyes burning every inch of my skin, my dress, my veil, even my manicured fingernails. There’s a slight pull of his lips before he says, “I don’t know if I want to take you out of this.” His hand curves up the bodice of my dress, and goose bumps cascade over my abdomen.

I reach to his tie and unhook the knot. “I know I want you out of this.”

Hot butterflies parade through my stomach as he laughs against my cheek. I love that he still does that to me. It’s not just the anticipation of making love…but making love with him. My husband. I have a hubby now. He’s mine, mine, mine, and those butterflies swarm under my skin and I unbutton his top button, second button, third, fourth, fifth. I tumble my fingernails over the ridges of his stomach, kiss his chest where his heartbeat pounds under my lips. It’s not just his body that is mine, but his everything.

He swipes a thumb across my cheek, and I didn’t even realize I was crying, because I feel so warm and my mouth won’t do anything but smile. Landon strokes my hair, unlatching the clip holding my veil in. It slips through his fingers, grazing my shoulder as it floats to the floor. When his eyes meet mine, they glass over, but he smiles and cups my face like I’m made of fragile cotton candy.

“You’re my wife,” he whispers. As if it’s a prayer, a hope, a dream he never thought would come to reality. Mint breath covers my mouth before he drops a chaste kiss to my lips. “Mine.” His hands roam now, and mine grip his open shirt. He pulls me tight against his frame, his face burrows into my neck, and his hot hand splays across my exposed upper back. “You know what this means, right?”

“Sex!” I blurt, and he pulls away, laughter playing on his lips.

“It means you’re my family now.” His fingers lace with mine, and he brings them to his mouth. Then I kiss his knuckles in return. If he wants to be romantic and sweet tonight, that’s completely what I want, too.

Landon tucks my blond curls over my shoulder, walking around so he’s behind me. He pulls on my zipper, warm palms dip under the fabric, and he wastes no time sliding them around my stomach, then up to my breasts.

“What…is this?” he asks, pinching and flicking the material around my torso, and I realize that…I’m still wearing Spanx .

“Oh, balls.” I jerk out of his hold and start backward toward the bathroom.

His lips twitch up in his really-trying-not-to-laugh smirk. “Is that what married-people lingerie is?”

“You shut your mouth.”

I hold my dress closed and kick my bag into the large vanity area. “Two seconds.”

“Liz…”

“Please?”

“I wanted to take you out of that.” He nods to my gown.

“I promise you’ll want to get me out of what I put on.”

He sighs, shrugging out of his shirt. I hear him slump on the bed right before I shut the door to the bathroom.

Once I have it locked, I let the dress fall down my torso and I immediately yank on the skintight underwear. I make a lot of bizarre noises, wiggling and jumping and trying to get these things off, but it seems every ounce of sweat I accumulated today has molded itself into the material that has glued itself to me.

“Okay…“I blow out a breath and lean against the counter. I’ve only been able to free about an inch of my stomach.

“Tumbles? It’s been much longer than two seconds!” I hear Landon call out, and I make a face in the mirror.

“Patience, you animal!”

Then visions of him sprawled out naked in our hotel suite and the sweet, sweet love we’re about to make jolt me upright, and I tuck my thumbs into the material on each side and tug so hard on the Spanx I form red marks.

And the damn things won’t budge.

My hair falls into my face, and I shove it back, search my bag for a hair tie, and get the strands off of my now heated skin. Frustration and struggling isn’t helping the sweat factor, and I try again to wiggle out of my underwear. And again. And, damn it all to hell, I need butter or oil or scissors.

The sound from the TV filters in and I slump on top of the toilet, wishing the things would tear in half as I bend. It’s not a bad idea since I’m sort of losing it, so I reach down and touch my toes, I twist my torso, I do the splits on the bathroom tile, and if anything I’ve made the material roll up my thighs and get stuck in my pelvic crease.

I fall against the floor, grateful we’re in a nice enough hotel that I’m pretty sure the tile is cleaner than the bathroom I have at home, and I’m so far gone that I start laughing. Of course this happens. Nothing ever runs one-hundred-percent smoothly. I grapple for my bag one more time, twisting to my stomach.

“Please have something sharp,” I whisper to the contents. If not, I’m going to have to get Landon in here. Nothing sexier than helping your wife get out of her Spanx.

“Ah ha!” I shout to the heavens, pulling my nail kit out. I sit up, ready the toe-nail clippers, and start clipping away at the fabric that was probably made by Houdini.

Landon asks me what I’m doing three more times while I cut myself out. I just tell him I’m making myself irresistibly sexy, and he says something sweet like “You’re already at that point,” but he can’t see me on the floor of the bathroom stuck in my underwear, sweat rolling down my temples.

Finally, when I get close to my hip, I take both ends of the material and rip myself free, bursting forth like Superman about to save the planet from an oncoming meteor.

“Aaaaaaah….” I sigh, collapsing once again on the cool floor. I’m half tempted to take a quick nap so I can regain some strength before riding my husband into Chocolateville. But I’ve already made him wait so long. Not just tonight. He’s waited five months.

Once I find the motivation, I slowly get to my feet and gaze at my exhausted and sweaty body in the mirror. It almost looks as if I had sex all by my lonesome in here, my perfectly curled hair now carelessly wrapped in an impromptu bun, chest rising and falling with every quick breath, and skin red and glistening. I probably smell so fabulous.

After swipes of deodorant and spritzes of body spray that don’t seem to take, I say, “Screw it,” and hop into the shower. Then I dry, blow dry, primp, and slip into the royal blue bustier I got last night at my bachelorette party. I pucker my lips and shake my ass, examining myself in the mirror. Landon won’t be sorry at all that he had to wait so long.

“Husband…” I call out, stepping into the suite with gusto. “What do you—”

I stop midsentence, staring at Landon’s form on the bed. His mouth is wide open, face half stuffed into the pillow, and only his butt is covered by a strip of the comforter.

“Landon?” I hiss, taking cautious steps forward. He makes no attempt to move.

Holding back a small laugh, I slide onto the bed and gently tap on his arm. Nothing.