Annie’s loud voice and boots barrel down the stairs. When I finally see her face staring at Colin, I know something is happening and it isn’t good for them.
“He’s gone,” Annie yells. “The fucker got out of the barn. I followed a trail of blood to the start of the road, but then the blood stops. It’s like he was picked up on the road.”
Colin swears over and over as he starts to get up. Before he turns to leave me, he swipes the knife straight across my stomach so deep I immediately start to scream in pain. Before I know what he is going to do to next, he and Annie are gone. I am left alone in the basement of this house, bleeding so badly that I can feel the wetness pour all over every inch of my bottom half.
TWENTy - TWO
I know a long time has passed since Colin and Annie were down here with me. I am going in and out of consciousness and the small window that is above the sink slowly goes dark with the encroaching night. How long have I been gone? They drugged me back in Chicago and I woke up in the barn. How long was I out?
My stomach is aching both inside and out. I scream. I whimper. I groan. My hands can’t find their way to my stomach because they are so tightly attached to the cement wall. I can’t even move to cover up my exposed bottom half. I try to curl up, but when I move the wound that is fighting to clot reopens. The bleeding begins again.
I want my mom. I want Camden. I am going to bleed to death and no one will be here when I take my last breath. Never in my life have I been so scared of being alone. I call out for Colin, hoping at least he will come down here and stay with me as I die. Then, I think if he comes back down here, he will do other things to me before I take my last breath. I can’t decide which is worse at this point. My mouth is so dry. I close my eyes, thinking of all the things in my life I have taken for granted. The beaches of Lake Michigan. Not visiting my parents as often as I should. The way I’ve lived my life. Using men for my own personal selfishness. I’m a fraud. A disguise, even in my own body. I don’t even know my own true self.
After what feels like hours, I hear a door upstairs slam shut and I jump. The female crying has to be Annie. She is out of control. She sounds inconsolable. Colin is talking, but I can’t hear what either one of them is saying. It’s like I am in a bubble of plastic again and everything feels so far away from me.
The words “hand cuffs” and “gone” shrill through Annie’s outburst. So, had Heath done it? Had he gotten out of the handcuffs with my hair pins? If she is still crying out in hysteria, he is obviously gone. If he is gone, then maybe he will go find me some help. I can’t help but remember the last time I saw Heath before today. He was so raging angry at me. He wanted nothing to do with me or Divider. He isn’t on my side. Come to think about it, he’s probably already half way back to his restaurant in Atlanta, not giving a second thought that I am still being held here. If Camden is dead from the gun shot, then he doesn’t have any reason to let anyone know about me.
“Don’t worry, Annie. We will get him. He will surface somewhere and my contacts will let me know when. I have everything under control.” Colin sounds irritated with Annie, but I don’t care, because they are on their way down to the basement to check on me.
Annie gasps the moment she sees me covered in blood.
“Oh Jesus. What did you do?” Annie asks. She’s as phony as I am. Her pouty little smirk tells me she hopes I do bleed to death.
She looks dirty, like she was out in mud, rolling around in the grass, but what I notice the most is that she looks warm. The flush in her face says that she is sweating. I’d do anything to feel warm.
“It’s just a surface cut. No big deal. She won’t bleed to death, if that’s what you’re worried about.”
Colin covers his chin with his hand in an introspective gesture. Annie and I both watch him as he decides what next to do with me.
“I suppose those cuts will need to be cleaned before I cut her anymore. Go grab the alcohol and gauze I put out in the dining room. I need to get her cleaned up,” Colin says. He still looks like he is thinking about what he is going to do next.
“Alcohol? Are you crazy, Colin? She will scream bloody murder. We cannot use…”
“God damn it, Annie. Shut the fuck up. No one can hear her out here. Let her scream. Let the alcohol burn. She needs to feel the pain. The pain she’s caused me for years while I stood around, time and time again, picking her up from the airport, knowing she was with someone who was not ME!” he yells at the top of his lungs. I can’t take any more of this. Destiny is an unpredictable bitch. If Colin would have told me his feelings for me, who knows where our lives would be today? They definitely would not be here and those clients of mine would still be breathing.
Annie leaps up the stairs. I watch her disappear and within a minute, she is back next to my side with the first aid kit. She starts to take out brown and clear bottles of liquid. As she starts to uncurl my body, I scream in torturous pain. God, help me. I can’t get cut again.
My thoughts become my words.
“Please don’t cut me again. Please don’t cut me again. Please, I’ll do anything. Please,” I plead. I have never felt this vulnerable ever. I am so terrified.
“Colin, these cuts are really deep. She needs stitches,” Annie says in a hesitant tone. I cry out when she roughly swipes across my cut with alcohol. A moment ago she didn’t want to use this form of treatment. She’s afraid of him, scared to disobey his commands.
In that moment, I know exactly what I have to do. I have to give Colin everything he wants if I want to live another day. I reach down deep for Lucia, the woman that sometimes had to pretend she loved the dresses she is given, or would scream in happy delight over a gaudy piece of jewelry I planned to never wear again, or the woman who would fake an orgasm just to get the weekend over with. Those weekends didn’t happen often; maybe once a year, but Carl always got an ear full after I had to perform the role of my life. Lucia pretended she was someone else. I have to pretend I am her and I want Colin so badly that I would do anything.
With all my resolve and all my Lucia power in mind, I feel the transition as if I am really sitting in first class and getting into role. It is so seamless. I don’t feel the cold. I don’t smell the mold, the piss, or anything but flowers, gowns, and jewelry.
“Colin, honey, please. I don’t want to get hurt again. I need to be warm and healthy for you. For our many nights together,” I say smooth and demurely.
The air in the room transitions the moment I purr out those words and like a subtle earthquake. I immediately see the moment Colin knows exactly what he plans to do next.
“Honey, I need a bath,” I whine. “Please, baby, I need the good bubbles and a loofa. Get me a warm bath going, would you? You’ll need to scrub my back and tend to my cuts. Did you already plan our dinner? I hope there will be plenty of champagne for us to toast our time together.”
The words are flowing out of me like a glacier melting in the sunlight. It’s pure and wild. I feel every word and it’s so easy, because when I’m Lucia, everything goes. There are no rules and like it or not, I am prepared to fuck the shit out of Colin if it’s the only thing I have to do to live another day.
“Wh-what the hell is she talking about?” Annie looks up to Colin with a scowl.
Colin’s grin is smug. He knows I am ready to play and I am ready to play with him. He rubs his hands together and shoots Annie a look of annoyance.
“Get upstairs and cook our dinner. We will want it in the master bedroom seating area. Set up the candles, Annie, and make sure the champagne goes on ice immediately.”