I feel so guilty. I should explain everything to her. I just don’t want to do it over the damn phone and she was so abrupt in leaving yesterday. I sigh, bringing down the second wine glass I was reaching for. My thoughts are trained on Camden and the fact that he should be here within the hour. My stomach grumbles when I think of the Chicago style pizzeria right up the street. Perfect for a night in.
I look down at the jeans I have on, my APO custom designed fit dark wash. The most comfortable pair of jeans I own. Ones I very rarely wear. In fact, I have dozens of pairs of jeans I never wear. Dozens of old sweatshirts too, just like the NYU one I have on now. It’s the very first one I bought, the same one I had on when I met Camden.
“Oh shit.” I scramble around the island in my kitchen toward my bedroom. I don’t want to wear this. What if he remembers? I cease halfway to my room when the doorbell rings. My head swinging back and forth, trying to decide if I should make a run for it to change or answer the door. When it rings again, I have no choice but to run to the door. When I open it, I’m winded from the small run, plus the anxiety that creeps its way back into my mind – the same anxiety I had the night before. I had tossed and turned from a restless night’s sleep, picking at my fingernails which I had to go and have redone earlier in the day. All of that worry squanders away when I see the man standing at my door, holding a small bouquet of tiny white and pink roses.
“Luca.” Camden graciously looks me up and down, his gaze giving away his underlying sexual goals. He wants me…bad. For a moment, I feel that anticipation I had years ago in the Waldorf Astoria. I remember the way he made me feel and man, I want that again. He’s in his pilot outfit and fuck me, have I been flown to heaven, because my god, he is hot. I don’t know what happened to me in that conference room when I decided there wasn’t anything between us. May it was his admission to finding me. Maybe it’s the fact that I am allowing myself to slowly drink him in. Whatever happened between then and now, there isn’t a doubt in my mind that I want this man. Need this man. Ache for this man. Tonight I’m not only Lucia and I am not only Luca. Tonight, I’m both of her, and for once, I am ready for both sides to meet. Just for this man.
TEN
“You’ve never had deep crust pizza before?” I grip for anything to say as my willpower to not jump across the table and straddle him is barely hanging on by a thread.
“Never. It was very good, and this wine is great.” Well that’s a lie. The part about the wine, I mean. He’s not a wine drinker. I knew that. God I’m a fool.
“Did you ever think about me?” he asks.
“Wh… what? Of course I thought about you. Didn’t we establish that yesterday?” I respond, holding up my ring playfully.
He keeps watching me, studying me like I’m a problem he’s trying to solve. Suddenly, very uncomfortable, I move out of my chair with the almost empty pizza box, tossing it onto the counter. I take the few steps to the fridge where I know there is a few Heineken’s from Leo still lingering deep in the back. I’m sure Camden would prefer a beer over the wine.
“Don’t.” The single word has me pausing. His hot breath is suddenly on the back of my neck. His hand wisps to the side and shuts the refrigerator door. He slides the bottle of beer out of my hand, setting it on the counter before both of his arms come gently, but firmly around my middle, outlining across my stomach. I’ve never relaxed into a man as much as I melt into him, forming myself up against the plains of his powerfully built frame.
“Do you know the things I want to do to you right now, Luca?”
I inhale sharply. “Tell me.” My eyelids struggle to stay open. I’m in a trance from his simple touch.
“I want to press my lips up against your cheek, just to feel your skin. I want to hold you close, tracing the curve of your jaw with my tongue all the way to your delicate neck. I’ll tell you between every lick, every suck, and every taste how much just looking at your beauty turns me on. You don’t even have to touch me and I already want to be buried so deep inside you that you will never want anyone else but me. Tell me you want me. One simple word and I’ll take you to your bedroom and love you until the sun comes up, Luca.”
Jesus God. No one has ever spoken to me like that before. Every man I’ve ever been with has fucked me because, theoretically in one way or another, he was paying for it. But not Camden. Not even when we were together before. Did he fuck me? Yes. Did he worship me, all weekend long? Did he end up paying me somehow? Yes again. But not until later, when our time together was up. He didn’t have to give me anything more than he already had at that point. Am I crazy for thinking someone could actually love me? And I don’t mean falling in love with me. I mean, wanting to be with me because they want to. Because they desire me, for me, not for what they gave me and I give to them in return.
“Yes, Camden, I want you.”
“Where’s the bedroom?” Slipping one arm under my knee and the other firmly under my back, he carries me down the long hallway toward my room. The soft dim of the light gives off just enough for me to see his eyes, a blueish black, hard and full of passion.
“Stay.” His deep voice rumbles, demanding when he places me down on top of my bed. The rich softness of the deep rose blanket is comforting as I run my nervous hands across the top. Camden looks upon me as if I’m a gift.
“You are beautiful, and yet that doesn’t feel like an adequate enough word for you, Luca.” he moans, trailing a finger down my cheek until he’s cupping the side of my face. I hear the button pop open on my jeans. The zipper going down. Then the touch of his long fingers sliding across the top of my pubic bone. I swallow, as his hand leaves my cheek.
“What?” I ask, unsure what I’m asking for.
“Shh, no talking. Let me show you. Feel, remember?” He taps my rear, indicating for me to lift. I do and my jeans and lace panties are yanked off, tossed over his shoulder. One leg is drawn up toward his face, his hands skimming up and down.
“So soft,” he whispers. “Do you feel this? How you deserved to be caressed, then devoured.”
“Mmhmm,” I state through my foggy haze.
His hands feel rough against my delicate skin. They are controlled and sensual. He startles me when he brings my toes in his mouth, nipping and sucking them. A divine sensation shoots from my toes to my very center. He hasn’t even touched me where I want him, yet all I want to do is slide my own hand down to relieve the pressure building inside of me. I lie still, letting him move from one leg to the other.
Fingers gliding, hands kneading into my flesh.
“Fuck, you’re just as sweet smelling as I remember.”
I’m in such a state of euphoria. I had no idea he had dropped to his knees on the floor, my legs over his shoulders and his mouth inches away from my bare pussy.
“Oh god, Camden,” I choke out when his tongue swipes up my center.
“Not a word, Luca. All I want to hear are the sounds of when you come.”
His glorious tongue enters me, moving slow lazy circles against my inner walls, scratching an itch I never knew I had. As I release a moan, he removes his tongue and I holler out and whimper at the loss, but it’s quickly replaced with a finger. His mouth moves to my clit, biting the hard bud. It’s zero degrees outside, but here in my apartment it feels like a hundred. Sweat forms between my breasts and across my brow.