“I’m sorry. God, you have no idea how sorry I am, but I can’t, Jaxon. I would have given everything to hear you tell me all of this, but it doesn’t matter anymore.”

I’m ready to hammer in the nail and finally end this, but I stop short when I gaze into his eyes. His face falls. He knows I’m about to shut him out forever. Placing both hands on each side of his face, I softly kiss his lips.

Jax grabs me roughly and kisses me with everything that he has. He puts everything into the kiss. It’s the kind of kiss that inspire poets. I kiss him back just as desperately. This is our last kiss. I know it, he knows it.

I’m not prepared for anything else.

Jax ends it, but doesn’t move away from me. A final goodbye maybe?

“I love you,” Jax says with such force I know he means it.

I drop all of my guards. I thought I was prepared to send him away, to give up on him. I wasn’t. He’s told me he loved me before, but I thought that was in the past. He’s done nothing but prove me right over the years by pushing me away every chance he got. Now, he’s standing in front of me, telling me the one thing I thought was unattainable, is within reach. He’s within reach, if I’m willing to give him another chance.

His face pales. He just told me he loves me and I haven’t said anything. I’m standing here like a mute. I love him. I know I love him. I’ve always loved him, but for some reason I can’t find the words. He moves away from me, to leave I assume. I open my mouth to stop him, but nothing comes out. The moment his green eyes penetrate mine, I know he isn’t giving up.

“I know you don’t believe me. I’ve given you every reason not to, but I do. I love you, Adalynn. Loving you is as easy as breathing. I can’t not love you. I’ve tried, I really have, but I can’t. Please, give me a chance to prove my love.”

My hands tremble at my sides. It’s now or never. I can remain silent and he will walk away. Before I can convince myself to remain silent, my lips are moving. “I love you, too.”

He sucks in a ragged breath. Okay, so that wasn’t the reaction I was hoping for.

“You love me?” he asks quietly.

“No, the person behind you.”

Jax bites his lower lip in that sexy way of his. Bending his head so his mouth touches my ear he whispers, “Say it again.”

Barely able to fight the urge to repeat, no the person behind you, I give in and tell the man that I love what he wants to hear and a little more.

“I love you, Jaxon. Only you. I love that you’re the one constant in my life. Despite everything we’ve put each other through, I love you. It’s always just been you, Jax. It will only ever be you.”

Jax leans his forehead against mine. Jax moves in to kiss me but I pull away slightly. There’s still one more thing that needs to be settled before I give myself over to him . . . Well two things actually.

“There is nothing more I want to do right now than get lost with you all night, but I need you to clear up something for me.”

“Anything, Ads, all you have to do is ask.”

“Are you done shutting me out? Are you done running? If you’re not, tell me now, because there will be no coming back to me if you leave me again. I can’t play this game with you anymore, Jax. So if you don’t think that you’ll be able to stay, leave now.”

“There is nothing that can push me away from you. Not even your brother. I’m so sorry for betraying your trust repeatedly. I love you, Ads. I want to be with you, nobody else. No more running, I promise.”

I start to smile, but I realize that he didn’t answer my first question.

“What about shutting me out? Are you gonna open up to me?”

“Are you going to open up to me?” he challenges.

I bite my lip, stalling. I would be easy to say yes, but I can’t. I don’t know how. I’ve kept everyone at arm’s length for so long. It seems impossible to let even Jax in. What if I let him in and I lose him?

“I don’t know how,” I finally admit.

“How about we try together? It won’t be easy for me to open up, either, even if it is to you.”

“Perfect.”

“You’re perfect,” he says huskily.

I roll my eyes. I’ve never known Jax to be this cheesy, but it sounds adorable coming out of his mouth. I’m pretty sure anything sounds adorable coming out of his mouth. All thoughts quickly float away as Jax presses his lips to mine. He traces my bottom lip with his tongue, seeking entrance. I open my mouth and moan when his tongue does devilish things to me. It’s one of the soul-breaking kisses. A kiss that ruins you. I know I will never have a kiss this intense with anyone else. It’s impossible.

I tangle my fingers into his hair. Jax bends and picks me up bridal style and carries me to my bed, as if I weigh nothing. Laying me down gently onto it, Jax breaks the kiss and memorizes my face by tracing my eyebrows, my cheeks, my lips, even my nose.

“I love you.”

“I love you, too.” I pull his face closer to me so that our lips are almost touching. “Now show me how much I mean to you.”

Jax gives me his famous grin before kissing my nose, my cheeks, my forehead, everywhere except for the one place I need him the most. I groan in annoyance when he kisses around my mouth, never touching my lips. He’s doing this on purpose.

“Patience.”

“I hate you.” I breathe heavily.

“I love you too, Ads,” Jax says with delight in his voice.

Kissing a trail from my jaw line to my neck, he licks my earlobe, and makes me moan embarrassing loud. He moves back down to my collarbone, switching from wet kisses to licks, to my personal favorite, bites. God, the things this man can do with his mouth should be illegal.

It’s because he has had a lot of practice. I hate that stupid voice in my head right now. I try to block it out, to stay here with Jax. It doesn’t matter, they were all before me. I won’t be one of those women that fault a man for their past. It’s in the past. How far in the past? A month? A week? A day? Fuck. Without any conscious thought, I drag him up.

“What’s wr—”

“I only had sex with you,” I blurt out.

His fingers brush the hair out of my face. “I know.”

“How?” I ask even though I don’t want to hear the answer.

He’s now frowning, which worries me. I know whatever he’s about to say, I’m not going to like. He moves our linked hands so they’re stretched over my head.

“Don’t get mad. I mean it. I don’t want to have to restrain you.”

I nod.

“The only guy you were with in high school was me. I assumed you didn’t get close enough to anyone after the accident. Plus I keep close tabs on you, as well as your brother when it comes to your dating life. I was getting a little nervous with Kohen being in the picture, but when we all hang out, you two never give off that intimate vibe.”

“Wait. How do you know I didn’t sleep with someone in high school after you left me? You were on the other side of the country.”

Jax looks everywhere but at me. Whatever it is, isn’t going to be good.

“Jax . . .” I prompt.

“I didn’t leave you. I was at NYU. I was going to transfer to be closer to you and . . . ”

“And what?”

A broken expression crosses over his face that I recognize all too well. Regret.

“And then we stopped talking. The accident happened and then you moved here.”

There’s something about the way he averts his gaze that makes me think he’s lying. It doesn’t make sense. There’s no reason why he would lie to me. But isn’t there?

“Is there something you’re keeping from me?” I murmur.

For some reason I know there is, and I don’t think I’m ready for the truth. A memory pushes it’s way to the forefront of my mind, but I can’t grasp it. There’s a blockage, and something within me knows it’s too painful to remember. I have my answer when he finally opens his eyes. They’re filled with unshed tears. I shake my head. I’ve never seen him like this, so whatever it is, I don’t want to know.