Feeling stupid, I stepped to the side. He opened the door and stuck his head out.

“Leave, now. Lock the office behind you,” he demanded with a stern Dom tone of voice before closing it and returning to his perch behind his desk. “Now, what was it you wanted to talk about?”

“How do you know she left?” I glanced at him before looking toward where Mariah was probably listening.

“She will. Would you rather waste time debating on how well my secretary listens to orders or talk about whatever it is that has you in my office so early this morning?” He looked at me expectantly.

“I’d rather avoid all things involving your secretary,” I said quietly, but sat in the chair across from him. “I’ve decided to give you the chance to voice whatever it is that has you still blowing up my phone. Obviously you have something to say.”

I couldn’t help but be defensive. It wasn’t how I’d planned to come to his office and speak with him, but he was so cold, so harsh, I fired back with the same tone, forgetting I was there to help him deal with his pain.

He tilted his head and stared at me for a full minute before nodding as if he had the answer to some unvoiced question.

“I wanted to know if you wanted back the stuff you’d left at my apartment.”

I nearly gaped at his response, but I caught myself.

“That’s it?” I’d thought he wanted to try to explain himself or try to get me to take him back or something, but he simply wanted to give me my things back?

“Yes. What did you think it was?” He rubbed his thumb over his lower lip, drawing my eyes to them. I felt my heart clench. Not so long ago I would’ve been free to take those lips any time I wanted; now I could only watch them.

“Nothing.” I stood and swallowed. “Well, if you have the time now, we can go get whatever was left behind.”

“No. I’ll leave you here and retrieve it myself. You are no longer welcome in my place,” he said, standing and walking to the door. “Give me five minutes and you can be out of my life forever.”

Before I could respond, he was out the front door and I was alone. I took my head in my hands and a sob slipped out unexpectedly. I had to hold it together for a few more minutes. I could do it. Wiping the tears away from my face, I stood and tried to make sure he wouldn’t be able to tell how much he was stomping on the shattered pieces of my heart. I realized then that some part of me had harbored the idea that we’d get back together, but this was the end.

The outside door opened and I turned, thinking it would be John, but it was Mariah instead.

“I forgot… Oh, it’s just you,” Mariah scoffed and strutted closer. Calling out, she said, “John?”

“He stepped out for a minute.” I didn’t have it in me to say where.

“Oh, well, then it’s just you and me. In case you haven’t figured it out yet, we’re together. We have been for months. John was trying to find a good time to tell you. I actually felt bad for you.” Mariah shrugged a delicate shoulder, but her face told me she didn’t feel bad at all.

“Really? Interesting that I didn’t know this.” John stood at the door with anger vibrating off him in waves.

“Oh, John!” Mariah spun around to look at him.

“Please, do tell me why you are telling the woman I love that we are fucking when every day I have to fight my repulsion for you.” He stepped closer, letting the door swing closed.

“Wait, what?” I looked between them, confused. My head spun as I studdered, “But… all the conversations, the lipstick, the condom.”

“Condom?” John briefly glanced at me, but his eyes were burning through Mariah. “You better start talking.”

“I was just trying to save you, sir. She isn’t good enough for you. Look at her. She’s not pretty enough, not submissive enough. You need someone who can give you everything you need. I wanted to get her out of the picture so I could show you how much I’ve learned since we broke up, how much we are meant to be together.” Mariah dropped to her knees and wobbled forward, reaching for his hand.

“What fucking condom?” John barked, stepping out of reach.

Mariah lowered her head, but didn’t say anything.

“Answer me!” he shouted.

“I… may have planted a condom in the trash for her to find,” Mariah whispered.

“And the lipstick?”

“I brushed my lips against you when I fixed your hair, sir.” She shrank into herself.

“But the phone calls…” I interrupted, not understanding why someone would be so cruel.

“No one was on the phone,” Mariah answered.

“Get out now. I don’t ever want to see you again,” John growled as he stepped around her, giving her his back as his attention shifted to me. No longer was he the cold, impersonal man who’d been in his office.

Mariah quietly left and John dropped the box he’d held under his arm, but I hadn’t noticed until it banged against the floor. He looked almost scared as he slowly moved closer to me.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” he asked, pained.

“I tried. It never came out right and I didn’t know who to believe. She was so convincing.” I closed my eyes and took a breath. “And I don’t deserve you. I’m not a good sub. I’m not beautiful.”

“Don’t.” He was pulling me into his arms and sighing. “Don’t put yourself down. I love the way you submit to me. I love the way you look. I love you and you are perfect the way you are.”

My heart beat again. It came back to life feeling his strength surrounding me, his scent enveloping me, his words pulling all the broken pieces back together.

Chapter 16

John

She was in my arms. I breathed her in. The world righted itself and stopped spinning out of control. I could survive anything as long as I had her in my life. I held her close for a long time. I couldn’t seem to make my arms release her.

Finally she shifted and pulled back and I had to let go.

“I missed this,” she breathed.

“Me too. God, how I wished you’d talked to me and I hadn’t been so stubborn.” I cradled her cheek. I hadn’t thought I’d ever be free to touch her again. Anger at Mariah raged inside me but was nothing compared to the relief, the feeling that I was once again whole washed over me simply by knowing Alix was mine.

I had been lucky enough to catch the end of their conversation and realization came crashing down upon me that Mariah had been pushing us apart so she could try to get me back. All the times Alix had mentioned she didn’t like Mariah and asked questions about her boyfriend suddenly made sense. I just hadn’t seen what she was trying to tell me.

“Come on, let’s take your things back to my place. In fact, I think you should bring all of your stuff over. Live with me.” I watched her carefully as I voiced what I’d wanted to ask her for a long time.

“I don’t know. I mean we just went through time apart, John. I think maybe we should take it slow.” She forced a smile and I could tell the separation had been as hard on her as it had for me.

“Whatever you want. I’ll do anything for you,” I whispered, my heart in my throat. I’d said I loved her and she hadn’t answered. I wouldn’t push for her to return the words, I would wait until she was ready but I wasn’t going to let her go ever again.

“Can we take this box back and then go to lunch?” She heaved the box up into her arms and I took it from her.

“Absolutely.”

We walked in silence to the hotel and the elevator was filled with tension as we rode up together. It seemed neither one of us wanted to be the first to speak. When I opened the door to my apartment, I couldn’t hold back any more.

“Please, come in.”

She followed me with a shy smile. I led her toward the bedroom where it would be easiest to unpack the box, since it was mostly clothes and toiletries. Once I set it on the foot of the bed, I turned and was surprised to find Alix right behind me.