We didn’t have a safeword. I didn’t work that way. No was no and would always be in my world.

I stepped close to her, feeling the heat of her penetrate my shirt. Normally I took it off, but the feel of her skin on mine was always distracting. I wanted nothing deterring my plans, even myself.

When I planted a soft kiss on her neck, she moaned and canted her head slightly to offer more skin to me. I rubbed my erection against her before moving back again. Softly, I trailed the end of the leather over her skin and smirked when she shivered, goosebumps popping out over every inch of her flesh.

After trailing the ends of the flogger over her a few times, I brought it down with a sharp flick of my wrist. Instantly a lovely blush bloomed over her back and she groaned. Spreading my feet, I picked up a comfortable eight pattern as I covered her upper back, arms and buttocks. Her cries of pain turned to moans of pleasure as she found subspace. I stopped when my shoulder started to ache. The flogger had turned her skin a bright red and would likely even leave a few bruises. The sight had my cock hard and pulsing against my zipper while leaving a damp spot where its eagerness seeped out.

I released the straps from her ankles first; she moved them unsteadily under her as I moved to undo the ones around her wrists. Once she was free, I scooped her into my arms. Her head rested against my chest right where I wanted it; I carried her back to my room and settled her on the bed. Removing my shirt, I climbed in next to her and gently caressed her back while rubbing on some ointment that would help reduce the soreness the next day.

Eventually, she came around and looked up to smile at me. I brushed stray hair off her face and kissed her lips softly.

“Welcome back, Precious.”

“Mmm, I love when you make me soar,” she murmured in a sleepy voice. It always took a while to fully come back to yourself so I kept touching her, easing her way.

“I love to make you fly, baby. Hell, I just love when you hand your control over to me. It’s absolutely the most exciting thing you could ever do to me.”

“Well, I don’t have to try to excite you in other ways then.” She smiled as she said it and I laughed softly at her.

“You excite me with everything you do, but that doesn’t mean you should stop trying to find something new you want to try out on me.” There was plenty we hadn’t done when it came to BDSM, but when it came to anything vanilla I was pretty sure we had that covered. I welcomed her presenting something she wanted to try, as she had yet to request something or say she specifically wanted a particular act. While I liked to be in control, I wanted her to know nothing was off-limits for me. I would do anything to keep her happy and in my arms.

Lost in my own thoughts, I was jolted when she yanked herself away from me. I looked at her, surprised and a bit shocked at the sudden move. She sat up in the bed and pulled the sheet over her body, which she had never done before in my presence.

“What’s wrong?” I asked, looking around the room to see what had caused the sudden change.

“You have lipstick on your neck.” Every muscle in her body grew taut as her eyes locked on my neck and her eyes turned ice cold.

“What?”

“Lipstick. On your neck. Who has been kissing your neck? I know it wasn’t me. I didn’t have lipstick on today and I haven’t kissed your neck. I didn’t notice it before when you picked me up so it must have been under your collar.” She moved off the bed, yanking the sheet with her as she moved away from me. Accusation was clear in her stance, but I was truly lost. I didn’t know how it got there and I didn’t think she’d take that for an excuse.

“I have no idea. Really. Baby, come back to bed so we can talk about this,” I pleaded, holding a hand out to her.

“No. I want to leave, right now.” She dropped the sheet and disappeared into the dressing room. By the time I’d pulled on my shirt and folded my jacket over my arm, she still hadn’t returned, so I knocked once on the door before pushing it open. The dressing room was empty. She’d left.

Growling in frustration, I ran down the hall to see her slip out the front door with her purse over her shoulder. I slammed the front door and the door-man glared at me, but I ignored him as I looked for where Alix had gone. Just as I spotted her, she vanished into the backseat of one of the cabs outside the club. I tried to get to the cab before it took off, but wasn’t fast enough.

She was gone.

Chapter 13

 

 

Alix

I was running. I knew it, but I couldn’t stop myself. There was no way I could face him as my mind whirled out of control. After such a deep experience, only to find another woman’s lipstick on his neck — my world shattered. There is only one way lipstick gets beneath the collar of a dress shirt. I couldn’t hear his excuses. I couldn’t let him make me believe again.

The last few months I’d put up with numerous other signs that other women would add up to something suspicious, but after his vehemence about not cheating the first time, I had let it all go, against my better judgement.

However, I couldn’t let go of the lipstick. I couldn’t. As soon as I got home, I locked the door and actually hid in my closet. I didn’t want to go near my bed, or couch, or anywhere else in the house John and I had been together. I needed to be alone.

All my life I’d been made to feel like I’d never be enough, but that had changed with John. I had this beautiful period of time where I felt like I could be what he needed, what he wanted — that I was enough. The world crumpled down around me with thoughts of all the times he’d come to me smelling of other women, the stories I heard from his ex, the way she so brazenly showed too much cleavage or thigh in the office. She touched him and he let her, even in front of me. He hadn’t been trying so hard to hide what was going on, but I’d been the naïve one that let him pull the cloth over my eyes in more ways than one.

I’d been so desperate to believe him that I didn’t trust myself and what I was seeing with my own eyes.

My strength and confidence, which had built over the time we’d been together, was leached away by the thoughts of deceit and lies. I hid in the closet trying to keep the outside world at bay for as long as I could, even long after my legs and butt begged me to move. My needy bladder was what finally broke me.

After relieving myself, I went about my house straightening things, trying to find some sense of normalcy where nothing else was okay. When I plugged my phone into the charger, I saw I had a slew of missed calls and texts. I didn’t bother checking them. They would be from John and I didn’t have the heart to face him.

In fact, I didn’t find the strength to face him for over two weeks. I called in sick, stating a family emergency, even though I had no family worth missing a single day of work for. Since I never took a vacation, I had more than enough paid time to use. The entire two weeks I stayed holed up in my apartment. I was barely eating, so I didn’t need to go to the store to get food.

At the end of two weeks, I felt no better than I had when I started the time away, so it was with a heavy heart that I started looking for new employment. I loved where I worked, but I refused to stay where I would be forced to see the man who’d broken my heart.

When I returned to work, I put on heavy makeup to help cover the bags under my eyes and the fact I’d lost some weight. The only person who noticed was Jennifer, and even though she peppered me with questions, I shrugged them off with single-word answers or ignored them altogether. Finally she got the hint that I didn’t want to talk and left me alone.

After having so much time off, I was booked solid, one appointment straight into another. The following week I’d be running to keep up with all the events that were booked, but it was good. The more work I had to do, the less time my brain could dedicate to rehashing the same thoughts that had been circling in my head.