Except no matter how far I ran, I couldn’t escape. It was melded to my very soul, and there was no running from the skeletons in my closet.

And now, after everything I’d done, after all the steps I’d taken, I wanted the chance to do this. To finally take a step to seize that control once and for all. To prove I wasn’t scared anymore.

“He cares about you. Loves you. He just wants to keep you safe.”

I turned to Gage then, looked at the strong outline of his jaw covered in stubble, the slope of his nose, those eyelashes that went on for miles. He looked so much like Riley, I ached. Ached for the man I loved. The man who’d voluntarily walked right out of my life. “I want to be able to keep myself safe.”

“Then you’re dumber than I ever thought you were.”

“Fuck off, Gage.”

“No, you’ve got nowhere to go now but to sit here and listen to me. You’ve always been a smart girl, Evie. You’ve always used your head, and you were good when you were with the crew. I don’t know if being away from it for so long has fucked with your memories of it, but this meeting with Max isn’t going to happen over fucking cookies and tea. He has no qualms about taking lives, and it doesn’t matter if you’re a woman. He doesn’t give a shit. He has no honor, no morals. He’s not doing this for a greater purpose. He’s not secretly a good guy caught up in a bad situation. He’s bad to the core. That’s how he’s held control of the crew for so long. And he won’t think twice, won’t even blink, before killing you.”

“I’m not stupid,” I snapped. “I know exactly what he’d do. I know what this meeting will entail. Which is exactly why I wanted to go. Riley doesn’t deserve this. He did nothing, had no hand in any of this, except to get me away after you called him. Why should he suffer for my mistakes? And what makes him my keeper? The person who tells me what kind of decisions I can or can’t make about my life?”

Gage blew out a deep breath. “Look, I get that you’re pissed. But cut him some slack. In the past week, he found out that everything he’s done in the past five years, the whole reason he really got involved in the crew, wasn’t reality. That every job he took … it was all for nothing. Not only that, but he found out that the very guy he worked for was the one who ripped you away from him. He’s owed his vengeance.”

“And I’m not? I was the one hiding away for five years, Gage. Me.”

“I know that. I’m not saying otherwise. And I get that you’re angry he didn’t want you with him. I get why you’d want to go, I do, but I also get where he’s coming from. I agreed not to tell him you were alive, and it ate at me for years. I wanted to protect him and respect your choice, but it killed me to watch my kid brother suffer for years, grieving for you. Especially when I knew the whole time you weren’t dead. Now that he knows the truth, we need to give him this. He doesn’t want to lose you again, Evie.”

Gage’s voice was gruff, his focus on the road, and I knew how much this was costing him to talk about. Gage didn’t do feelings. He didn’t do talking, either, not really. And I got what he was saying. I did. I just wished he could get what I was saying. It wasn’t like I’d planned to walk into Max’s place by myself. I had no illusion of the outcome of something like that. What I’d wanted, what I’d counted on, was doing it with Riley. I’d wanted to be by his side. This was my fight, but I’d wanted us to face it together as a team.

*   *   *

The apartment was dark when we arrived. Gage had called Madison on the way over, making sure everything was okay. She’d confirmed it had been quiet there, so he didn’t hesitate as he walked in ahead of me, flipping on a light before tossing my bag on the couch and his keys on the tiny circle of a dining table.

“You can crash out here tonight.” He gestured with his head toward the already made-up sofa. “I’ll keep you in the loop, let you know when I hear from him. I don’t expect anything for a couple hours, so you might want to try and get some sleep.”

I gave a distracted nod as he mumbled something about going down the hallway to check on Madison, but all I could focus on was that set of keys he’d tossed without a second thought. Gage’s car was a stick shift, something I’d never driven, but I bet I could figure it out pretty damn fast if I had to.

If I was running.

I listened as the door down the hall opened, then came the muffled voice of Madison before the soft snick of the door closing behind Gage.

My heart was pounding a staccato rhythm in my chest, my lips thrumming along at the same erratic beat. I crept over so I could peek down the hallway to make sure their bedroom door was still closed, the soft carpet masking the sounds of my footfalls. Seeing nothing but darkness down the hall, I glanced again at the small ring of keys and swallowed. I had to make this decision now, without consideration. Because I knew every second I wasted contemplating whether or not I should do it was a second I’d never get back. And Gage could waltz back out here any minute, snatching the opportunity right from under me.

I took a quick look at the clock on the microwave, seeing that Riley had taken off less than thirty minutes ago. If I left right now, I still had the possibility of catching him. Of confronting Max with him. Of claiming back all those years that had been stolen from me.

Without thinking another second on it, I tiptoed over to the table, gripping my purse before snatching his keys. The dead bolt was silent as I unlocked it, the door barely a whisper as I pulled it open. And then before I could look back, before I could think twice, I was gone.

Not knowing how much lead time I’d have before Gage figured out I was gone, I ran down the stairs, through the entryway, and out the front door, into the dark night. The moon was full but partially covered by passing clouds, just like the setting of a hundred different horror movies. I swallowed my nerves as I rushed to where Gage had parked the car, looking behind me toward the front of the apartment building to make sure he wasn’t on my heels.

I was so preoccupied worrying about Gage coming after me that I didn’t consider who else might be outside waiting, didn’t bother checking my surroundings for other threats.

The sound of footsteps directly behind me startled me, but it was too late to even turn around. “Gotcha now, bitch.”

A rough hand covered my mouth as an arm held me back against a chest, then there was a tiny prick on the side of my neck.

And those three words were the last I heard before everything went dark.

Chapter Twenty-Eight

RILEY

My head had swum with Evie’s words the entirety of the ride back to Chicago. Over every mile that had passed under my tires, I’d remembered the look on her face when I’d told her she wasn’t going with me. Her eyes had sparked, her lips thinning into a straight line. In that moment, she’d absolutely loathed me. That look of anger was the last thing I’d seen before I left.

And if she’d been telling the truth, if those last words she’d said to me had been honest—and I had no doubt she’d meant them—then it was going to be the last look I’d ever see on her beautiful face.

It gutted me, ripped me apart inside—the thought that I might never have her in my life again. But so long as she was safe, it didn’t matter. Not my feelings. Not hers.

I knew she thought I hadn’t heard her, hadn’t listened, but I had. I’d heard what she was saying, knew how much it would cost her to give in on this, but in the end, it hadn’t mattered. I couldn’t let it, because it wasn’t just her feelings that were at stake. It was her life. And I didn’t care that I was keeping this choice from her if it meant she’d be alive.

Even if that life wasn’t with me.