Pleasing her at any and all costs.

I clasped my hands together, knowing what the last box contained. To me, it was the most important of them all, hence the placement on the bottom of the stack. It was an object she should be able to enjoy for a lifetime. A simple reminder of when life for us began - a period of time stolen from our lives, captured, and kept forever - carefully tucked away safe from any and all harm.

She lifted the last box. Her face filled with wonder. She shook it.

“Be careful.”

She lowered the box onto her lap and removed the top. After separating the tissue paper, she lifted a smaller box and pried the lid open. Carefully, she reached into to the box and removed the locket, holding it close to her face.

“Open it.”

“It’s precious.”

I nodded my head. Although it needed no explanation, I felt compelled to do so.

“The three of us.”

She gazed down at the locket for a long moment.

“It was the day we met. I had it enhanced, reduced in size, and antiqued. The two loves of my life.”

She glanced up from studying the locket and began to cry. I stood from my seat, walked to the sofa, and sat down beside her. As she continued to stare blankly into her hand at the open locket, the crying continued.

And try as I might, I could do nothing to comfort her.

ETHAN

A record setting shitty day at work had me second guessing my need to continue working with Jake. Even though he had yet to mention Rain since our incident, his mouth, attitude, and constant complaints were almost more than I was able to take. After an eight hour day of his antics, the frustration he added to my already annoyed state of mind was enough to cause me to leave and consider never returning.

On my ride home I realized a good deal of my frustration was a result of disappointment in myself for not properly approaching Rain regarding my true feelings. For me to kiss her without warning was not only selfish, but inconsiderate and childlike. I felt a need to apologize, take a few steps back, and ask her if she had interest in going on a conventional date with me.

Based on the time we had spent together and the way our personalities complimented each other¸ I suspected she would agree to the offer, and in time I would be able to make up for what little damage I may have caused by my thoughtless behavior the day of the poker run.

As I rode through town, I fully realized it was in my best interest to move forward with my plans promptly, and that I had become my own worst enemy at work. Admitting my mistakes was the first step toward being able to make adjustments in my life, and in doing so, I had to admit most of my problems of late with my attitude were my own fault.

Jake would always be Jake, and he was really no different than he had always been. His characteristics I once found entertaining I now found annoying, and the annoyance ground on my nerves like a barking dog or a blaring car horn. Me making amends for my own mistakes should allow me to continue along the same path I had been on for years, and do so without my continued feelings of hatred toward Jake.

After I parked the bike in my space in the garage I didn’t immediately get off and go inside. As I sat on the bike and listened to the ticking sound of the exhaust cooling, I considered my not having asked Rain on a date was possibly a result of two very likely subconscious thoughts or feelings.

To ask Rain on a date would be to truly let go of Chloe, and admit I had failed in my relationship with her. To proceed with Rain would require my release of Chloe and the thoughts and feelings associated with her. As much as I previously told myself I was over her, I now sat on my bike and wondered just how accurate the statement had been in the past.

Additionally, if I asked Rain on a date I would need to be totally honest with her. In advance, I would need to tell Rain my shortcomings, my strengths, and my true knowledge regarding my separation from Chloe, and allow her to make an educated decision regarding her desire or lack of desire to proceed with me. If she denied my request after my speech, it would add to my suspicion that there were things about me that I may never be able to recover from, things no woman would ever want to contend with.

As the ticking of the exhaust stopped, I focused on Cade’s car and smiled. The one constant in my life I gave very little thanks for, but truly admired for his stability and understanding. Although Cade wasn’t accepting of change, he was very understanding of me, my faults, and my propensity to procrastinate about everything. Prior to Rain’s arrival in our home, Cade and I spent many a night speaking of relationships, women, feelings, and heartache. His advice was always well received, even though I realized most of it came from no experiences of his own.

Cade’s admittance to me in college of his lack of experience with women initially caused me to wonder of his ability to assist me with my problems immediately following my divorce. His sound advice, thoughtful gestures, and willingness to listen further proved to me just how close of a friend he really was.

Often questioned by my longtime friends about my friendship with Cade, early explanations of our closeness was difficult for me to explain. Talking about it wasn’t easy, so I chose not to. Cade had become much more than the brother I once had, and confirmed through his actions as well as his words that his love for me was as strong as the love I had developed for him. Difficult to explain, but equally as difficult to deny, we had become as close over the years as two grown men could ever be.

My request for him to move into my loft after Chloe’s departure was the best decision I ever made.

As I continued to gaze at his spotless car, I laughed to myself at his OCD behaviors regarding cleanliness in our home. Virtually following me around with cleaner and a rag, without complaint, he had picked up or cleaned every mess I had ever made.

His agreeing to allow Rain to move into our home was a huge step for him, and although we spent no time discussing it afterward, I now realized it was a decision he made either for me, or out of the depth of his kindness, setting aside his quirks regarding change and cleanliness.

Either way, as I stepped off of my bike and sauntered toward the elevator, I decided I not only needed to apologize to Rain, I needed to apologize to Cade for my continued inconsiderate behavior.

As the elevator opened on the seventh floor, I took one step forward, stopped, and grinned. After pressing the buttons for floors 8 through 11 on the keypad, I closed my eyes, recalled the day I met Rain, and waited for the elevator to stop on each floor.

After stopping on the 11th floor, I pressed 7. As the elevator began to lower, I closed my eyes and prayed for the knowledge to find the right words.

Words which would, without a doubt, make all of the difference in the world to how my life would be lived from this day forward.

RAIN

I stuffed the remainder of the panties into my pack, pressed down on the canvas, and pulled the zipper closed. A quick survey of the room produced nothing more than two books and my locket. I glanced in the mirror, ran my fingers through my hair, and gazed down at the locket.

I hope you can bring me luck.

I draped the chain over my head, pulled the locket down into my cleavage, and gripped it between my thumb and forefinger. As I held it in my grasp, I closed my eyes, sighed heavily, and opened my eyes. I lifted the locket, flipped it open, and stared at the tiny photograph.