Once we started college, he joined The Invisibles and I joined a fraternity, sealing our separate ways for good. Last year, when I started seeing Mr. Carsen asleep on the park benches and passed out in alleyways, I knew I had to take care of him. Don’t get me wrong, Mr. Carsen always loved his drinks. They used to have the most amazing parties when we were little. Brady, Maura, Kara, and I would run around playing tag and hide-n-seek while our parents got trashed.
I never thought about it then, but Mr. Carsen always seemed to be passed out on the couch at some point before the end of the night. But after my dad took away his wife, Mr. Carsen drank all the time. When I moved in with them, I remember Brady sleeping in the chair next to his bed to make sure he didn’t get sick or calling the university, informing them he was ill. That’s why I left to go live with Kara’s family; I couldn’t handle seeing what my father had caused.
“Hey you.” Jessa nudges her shoulder into mine, interrupting my journey down memory lane.
“Hey,” I respond, gently nudging her back. The smile she gives me takes all of my control not to throw her over my shoulder and stomp upstairs. I have to keep reminding myself she is taken and I will never again take another guy’s girl, even if I hate the asshole. “They kind of make me sick,” I joke, nodding my head toward Sadie and Brady, who are currently wrapped in each other’s arms while kissing. God, I’m a jealous bastard.
“Yeah, I don’t know what I’m going to do when I live here. Maybe I should have stayed in the dorms for my last semester,” she laughs, flashing that one dimple in her right cheek that has been driving me crazy for days.
From the moment I saw Jessa at my fraternity party, she has consumed my every thought. When Sadie asked if I would help her paint the third floor, I jumped at the chance when she told me Jessa would be helping as well.
As we walk over to the table to sit for dinner, I casually act like it was a coincidence we ended up next together, when in fact I have been thinking about how I was going to maneuver it most of the day. I pull the chair out for her and she smiles at me, clearly taken back by the kind gesture and my heart breaks, knowing she’s never been cared for like she deserves. I push it back in and stare at her exposed neck, where the small scripted words ‘free’ are tattooed along with black birds flying around it. I’m curious if she just liked it or it means something, but from what I know of her, I think it’s the latter. Her ear piercings up and down her right earlobe are clearly visible with her pixie-cut hair style. We couldn’t be more different in appearance, but then I look at Sadie and Brady and they are just as different. I don’t remember ever wanting someone like I want Jessa. I sit down next to her and grip my napkin so my hand doesn’t disobey and grab hers.
Luckily, Brady starts talking, alleviating me from this pain for a short time. “Hey, everyone. Sadie and I want to thank you all for coming.” He stares down at her and she smiles warmly back up to him. “We want to play a little game and I hope that you all don’t mind, but we feel like we have so much to be thankful for this year, we want to hear yours. I’ll start,” he says and I want to kick his ass for this impromptu game. “I’m thankful that I am no longer am alone. That I have my one and only by my side forever and always. Never let go, babe,” he says, bending down and kissing Sadie. Can this get any cornier? Do they have to keep flaunting their newfound love?
Sadie stands up. “Never, Brady,” she says to him, grabbing his hand. “I want to thank Jessa for dragging me to that god-awful bar where my white knight with an edge saved me. I know I ran away that night but never again. I’m here, forever and always,” she says and Jessa smiles toward them. I didn’t know that’s how they met.
Everyone at the table starts standing up, thanking other loved ones or events that have happened. It’s getting closer to my turn and my stomach is filled with butterflies. I’m not usually shy to talk in front of people, but the way Jessa glances at me every time someone says what they are thankful for, I worry I will fumble over my words. Maura’s five year-old son knocks me with his elbow, telling me it’s my turn. I have no idea what that little man is thankful for since my head has been everywhere but at this table.
I nervously scoot my chair out from the table. “I’m thankful to have an old friend back in my life.” I stare at Brady who nods his head, smiling. Then I pull out Jessa’s chair for her and she stands up.
She looks around the table before her eyes land on me. “I’m thankful for new friends,” she says, winking at me.
My heart races at the thought she might want me as much as I want her. Too bad we have two things against us: she has a boyfriend and ever since Lizzy, I don’t do relationships.
Grant’s Story Coming October 2013
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Michelle Lynn
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Here’s a sneak peak at another Michelle Lynn’s novel - LOVE ME BACK
Chapter 1 – 11 years old
“Madeline Dolores Jennings!” Bryan yells teasingly at me from the bottom of the hill.
“What do you want, Bryan Otto Edwards?”
“Hey, I’m just joking, Maddy.” Bryan runs up the hill, throwing his arm around me. “You knew it had to be coming; I have been holding it in all day since Kenna slipped at lunch.”
I hate the days my mom “works late”. It entails me having to walk up the grassy hill from my grade school to my brother Jack’s football practice with the other latchkey brothers and sisters of the football heroes of our small town. There are four of us that make the trek every day.
Mackenna Ross is my best friend and our polar opposite personalities only enhance our different qualities. She is free-spirited, whereas I am more conservative. She speaks her mind and I keep my thoughts to myself. We share a love for tennis, swimming, and the game MASH (mansion, apartment, shack or house), where we try to map out our perfect lives.
Our brothers are teammates but not the best of friends. In fact, they have been known to fight with each other on several occasions. The most recent battle is over a girl… Cindy Rydel. I don’t see what is so intriguing about her, but I am not a seventeen year-old hormone-induced boy either. It doesn’t matter to Kenna and me that they don’t get along, so long as it doesn’t keep us away from one another.
Jack glances up to the bleachers on his way to the field, giving me a wave as he checks to make sure that I made it safely across the hill from our school. I wave back and take my seat next to MacKenna. She already has her notebook out, wanting to go first. We keep all of our MASH games in a binder, marking stars next to the lives we want. I grab her notebook, flipping to the next blank page.
“Alright Kenna, four boys?” I ask.
“Let’s do five today. I can’t decide who to leave out, Jackson or Tyler,” she says, tapping her lips with her finger.
“Fine, five,” I reply. Mackenna never changes the cars she desires or where she wants to live, but the boys’ list is forever rotating between the boys in our school.
“Ok, well my usual four boys and…” she pauses, glancing over to the field next to us where the latchkey boys are tossing a football around. “Bryan,” she says, spitting it out so fast I barely catch what she said.