Ellie shrugged her shoulders. “Whatever.”

As we walked up to the house, I heard someone pulling up the driveway. I turned around to see Josh’s truck. I started to walk faster, taking the steps of the porch two at a time, only to run right into Lynda.

“Jesus, watch where you’re going, Heather.”

I took one look at her and wanted to puke. She was dressed in a low-cut, very low-cut light blue shirt. I could see her bra through the shirt, and her shorter-than-short skirt was damn near up to her crotch. Her black cowboy boots rounded out the whole hooker-looking outfit. I ran my eyes up and down her.

“You think Josh will like what he sees?” She asked, giving me a wink.

I had an incredible urge to knock the crap out of this girl. I was just about to say something back to her when I heard Josh behind me.

“Heather, I really need to talk to you. Please.” His voice was practically begging me.

I turned around to face at him. Damn. He looked good in his white button-down shirt, jeans, and boots. I had the most intense feeling between my legs, I actually felt myself pushing my legs together.

What the hell is wrong with me?

“Heather, please don’t walk away from me after what happened between us. You have to let me explain.”

I glanced over at Ellie and Gunner. They both looked very confused and looked at me and then at Josh.

“Wait…what do you mean what happened between y’all?” Lynda asked glaring at me.

I didn’t want to air my dirty little secrets in front of everyone, especially the tramp standing next to me. I started to walk toward the barn and Josh followed me.

Lynda tried to stop him. “Josh, wait, I thought we.”

“Lynda, please, I just need to talk to Heather for a few minutes. Just give me a couple of minutes.”

I walked as fast as I could down to the main barn. Before I could turn around, Josh grabbed me and pushed me up against the side of the barn.

He kissed me with so much passion that I almost lost myself in him. Finally pulling my lips away from his, I tried to push him away.

“Stop, Josh! Just stop right now! How dare you even think of kissing me after what you did to me! How could you?”

Josh went to say something, but I cut him off.

“You never had any intention of sleeping with me because you already made plans to fuck Lynda tonight!” I screamed at him.

Josh closed his eyes. When he opened them, I swore it looked like he had tears in his eyes.

“Heather, I don’t know how to explain this to you. I was trying to do something the only way I’ve ever known how to do it. I wanted you so much, but you just kept pushing me away, and.”

“So, you’re saying this is my fault? I tried to explain myself the other day, but you wouldn’t let me. You just acted like a stubborn ass, and then you started hanging all over Lynda like the man whore that you are.”

The moment I said it, I regretted it. The look on his face just about killed me.

“Okay. So, that’s what I’m always going to be to you, isn’t it?”

I just couldn’t stop. I needed to push him away before he hurt me anymore.

“I guess so…at least according to your text message. So, tell me, Josh. What was it you were trying to do? Forget about me by sleeping with Lynda?”

The look he gave me caused me to gasp.

“Oh. My. God. That’s it, isn’t it? You were going to sleep with her just to...”

I couldn’t even finish my sentence. He was going to sleep with Lynda to forget about me.

“No…I mean, yes…no, wait. I might have sent her that text, but I wouldn’t have done it. Princess, I haven’t been with anyone in months. I love you. I only want to be with you.”

I felt like I couldn’t breathe. No…he doesn’t love me. I can’t breathe.

I took a few steps away from him. I leaned over, placing my hands on my knees. I needed my parents. Oh my god. Why did they leave me all alone?

“Heather…baby, are you okay?”

Josh started to reach for me, and I jumped back.

“No, you couldn’t possibly love me. Why would you even think about sleeping with someone else to forget about someone you loved? That doesn’t even make any sense!” I started to laugh.

Josh stared at me with a strange look.

“Heather, can we please just go back to Jeff and Ari’s place? Just to talk about this, please. I don’t want to lose you.”

I looked up into his eyes, and my heart broke in two. I was about to do the only thing I knew to keep my heart from being broken anymore.

“You can’t lose something you never had.”

Josh took a step back away from me. He started to shake his head.

“Don’t do this again, Heather. Don’t push me away. If you push me away this time, I swear to God… I’m done with all of this.”

My heart starting beating so fast, and my legs felt like they were about to give out on me.

“I believe your date for the night is waiting for you.”

Josh grabbed the side of the barn, like he was trying to hold himself up. I instantly wanted to run into his arms and beg him to take me back to Jeff and Ari’s house. I started to take a step toward him when he looked at me. His eyes were different. The look from earlier was replaced with anger. I stopped dead in my tracks.

“I’m sorry that I made you feel that way, princ, um Heather. I guess we’re clear on where we stand with each other so….”

I just stood there and stared at him. Am I really going to just let him walk away from me?

“Yeah, I guess we’re clear. Excuse me, I’d like to find out how Ari is doing and what happened with Jeff and Rebecca today,” I said.

I started to walk past him. When he took me by the arm, I stopped and looked up into his beautiful green eyes. I’d give anything to see him smile, giving me that dimple he had on his right cheek.

“No matter if you believe me or not, I’ll always love you,” he whispered.

I sucked in a breath of air. I couldn’t move.

Josh leaned down and kissed me on the cheek.

“Please come back to Jeff and Ari’s tonight. I promise that I won’t bother you.”

With that, he turned and headed back up to the house. The moment he left, I leaned back against the barn and started to cry. I cried so hard that I felt like I couldn’t breathe. What is wrong with me? Why did I just push away the only man, besides my father, that I’ve ever loved, ever needed?

I tried to calm myself down. I was sure Ellie would come looking for me if I didn’t come back right after Josh.

Sure enough, I heard her call out my name.

I looked up at her with tears streaming down my face.

“Oh my god, Heather! What did he do to you?”

I let out a laugh.

“He didn’t do anything I didn’t ask him to do.”

“Heather, this is insane. What the hell is going on between you two? Josh just walked up and grabbed Lynda. He told Gunner that they would meet us at the bar. I thought you two were working it out.”

It took me another minute or so to stop crying and start breathing normally again.

“Shit, Ellie, I think I just made the biggest mistake of my life, but I’m not sure. My heart is telling me one thing, and my head is telling me another.”

“Take some deep breaths and just start at the beginning,” Ellie said as she walked me over to two chairs.

I told Ellie all about how great Josh had been with Matt all day and then about what had happened between us before Garrett had shown up.

“By the way, y’all better keep your doors locked. Garrett just walked right into Jeff and Ari’s place without even knocking. I was naked for Christ’s sake!”

Ellie was laughing her ass off, which was just pissing me off even more. “What the hell is so funny?”

“I’m so sorry. I don’t know if I’m in shock from what happened between you and Josh or the fact that Garrett did the same damn thing to Jeff and Ari the other day!”

I told Ellie about Josh’s text message to Lynda and then Josh’s explanation about it.