“I did it, because I was scared. I did it, because I was selfish. I wanted everything and really all I was doing was accepting nothing. And you…you, my dear,” he said his hands reaching for her cheek but dropping before he reached her. “I hurt you more than all of them. I lied, cheated, and took you for granted. You were it for me, and I managed to even fuck that up.

“I fuck up, because I don’t know how to do anything else. I’m worthless. I’m less than worthless. I should never have been in a relationship in the first place. If anyone had known what I was capable of, they would have run. But you knew and you stuck by me. You put up with me even when you had no reason to. I know I’m terrible at showing it but I do love you. I want you to know that you have my heart. You always have and you always will.”

“Jack, how can you say that to me?” Lexi asked fighting back tears.

“Because it’s the truth,” he murmured.

“But you’ve never been able to show that to me.”

“I might be able to.” Her eyes narrowed suspiciously. Jack’s hand went to his pocket and dug around for a second before retrieving a tiny black box. Lexi gasped as her eyes took on the shape of a jewelry box.

“What...what’s in there?” she asked her voice shaking. Her eyes were wide with wonder and a hint of fear.

He cracked the box open revealing an exquisite princess cut diamond with a string of matching diamonds on either side. The band was pure white gold. It had an old timey feel to it, but Lexi had never laid her eyes on a more beautiful ring. “This was what I was going to give to you to prove that you have my heart.”

Lexi hand flew to her mouth in shock. She couldn’t help shaking her head in disbelief. No. Not now. Not after everything. She couldn’t drag her eyes away from the amazing diamond.

“No,” she murmured.

He nodded picking the ring up out of the box and twirling it around between his fingers. “I know I don’t deserve you, Lex.”

“No,” she muttered again.

“I know,” he said nodding. “This was my grandma’s ring. My mom gave it to me over my brothers, because she knew that I would choose someone who really mattered to me, not just the first person who came along.”

“Jack, please, just stop.”

He seemed to ignore her. “Now I wasn’t planning to show this to you, but,” he looked up from the ring into her wide-eyed brown orbs, “this was meant for you. Only you.”

“No.”

“But either way, that was what I had to tell you to show you my heart,” he whispered.

“How could you do this now?” she murmured, tears forming in her eyes even though she had told herself over and over that she wouldn’t cry.

“It was the only thing I could think of,” he said snapping the box shut and stuffing it hastily back in his pocket.

“What does this mean?” she couldn’t help asking.

“I took a job in Atlanta. I won’t be a burden on you any longer. I can see what I did to you, what I continue to do to you, and I won’t let that continue to happen. I fucked everything up by sleeping with Stella, and I know that. I’ll never forgive myself, and I don’t exactly expect you to forgive me.”

“Atlanta?” she asked her voice coming out strangled. “I thought you got turned down.”

“The man that I interviewed with last night suggested me to a friend and as long as I’m in Atlanta by tomorrow night I have the job. It was a last minute kind of thing,” he told her.

“All of this was for nothing?”

“No, it made me realize what I did to you. And I’m not going to do it again. So this is good-bye. I’ll try not to bother you again. I love you, Lex,” he said planting a sweet kiss on her lips.

She could barely function right now. He was leaving her after all. They weren’t going to be able to get through this. Even though she thought they would be able to work it out, they would never be given the chance. And as she watched him walk out her door, she truly knew that she would never ever hear from him again.

CHAPTER 23

PRESENT

Lexi slipped inside Ramsey’s town house carefully positioning herself where he couldn’t get a look at her back. She sucked her bottom lip into her mouth wincing at the extreme tenderness. Ramsey glanced in her direction, and she instantly moved to cover her throat with her hair. No need for him to ask questions. It would really just be an unnecessary hassle. And, in either case, it wasn’t something she could explain.

She stood by the stairs and waited for him to go first. She followed behind closely ducking into the guest bedroom where he stood against the doorframe.

“I’ll get you something to sleep in,” he told her a smile playing across his features.

“Uh…thanks,” she stated awkwardly turning to face him in the doorway. She liked the smile he was sending her way. It was very…sincere. He looked as if he genuinely did not want to be any place else in the world at that moment. He would be content standing in the doorway staring into her face for eternity. He wasn’t even pressuring her to feel anything more, just to look at him. And, man, was he attractive.

Lexi’s stomach twisted at the thought. She did not want to be thinking these types of thoughts around Ramsey. He disoriented her in a completely different manner than she was used to. Jack tilted her completely off balance. She couldn’t think…she could hardly breathe around him. It was as if her orbit shifted around him.

With Ramsey she could feel a sense of equality about their movements as if the world was in the right place again. He revolved around her, and she matched his movements. It was a completely new experience. And also terribly frightening to know that she could have such a connection to someone she had just met…to someone she hadn’t even particularly liked up until tonight. She couldn’t think about that right now. Tonight, of all nights, she needed to keep her wits about her.

She stood motionless in the doorway as Ramsey fetched her clothes. She couldn’t help thinking about the events of the night and how they had unraveled.

The sex was never supposed to happen. She just wasn’t capable of controlling her actions around him. Turning Jack down was the hardest thing she ever tried to do. No matter how many times they had fucked up together, she never found it easier to break free from him. There was always Jack. Even after the crazy sex and horrible things he had said to her, she couldn’t think about giving him up. He had told her that none of it mattered, and it didn’t change anything.

How could none of it matter?

How could the sex not alter his decision in the slightest?

Lexi couldn’t wrap her mind around that concept. Sure she had been sleeping with Jack for years, but it’s not like the sex never mattered. She had held out on him for a year a half, granted they hadn’t been together the whole time. No, they had never been together. He had made that perfectly clear when he walked out that door…when he ran.

Her face darkened at the painful memory. She typically kept it under lock and key where no one could access it. But with everything that had gone on tonight, she couldn’t hold it together. Her jaw was clenched tight and her eyes had the remembered look of agony. All she wanted to do was keep from crying until Ramsey brought her something to change into.

Just then he walked around the corner and down the hall. Lexi quickly recovered hoping that her expression was as neutral as possible, but she could see that he wasn’t fooled.

“Thanks,” she muttered yanking the clothes out of his hand and slamming the door quickly.