But how could she believe him? He could lie his way out of a lie detector test if need be.
“I...I don’t know what to think. Why would Clark say that if it wasn’t true?
Jack’s face had gone pale at the realization of what she had said. In his earnest desire to let Lexi know he hadn’t breathed a word to Clark, he had completely skipped by the fact that Clark knew.
“He trapped you, and you told him everything,” he finally said soaking in the information that Clark knew...and Kate would soon follow. “Fuck.”
“Oh God, this is so fucked up,” she cried falling to the couch. “He actually didn’t talk to you. The conniving little...” she trailed off. It was useless to be angry at Clark. She should have told him in the first place, and it was her fault that he was finding out this way. How could she have let this happen? How could she have let this thing with Jack spiral so far out of control?
She was acting just like Jack had while he dated Danielle. Only three years ago, she had screamed at him for doing less with her behind his girlfriends back. Now look at where she was. How had she changed this much over the past couple years? She would never have let herself get into his kind of position with anyone else.
Damn it! Why did Jack do this to her? It was so exhilarating being in his presence that sometimes she felt like she never wanted to leave. After the amazing night they had shared, she couldn’t believe they were sitting here like this. Less than twelve hours since that amazing kiss, lying wrapped up in his arms, and here they were arguing and freaking out about the people they were actually dating finding out. God, they were pathetic.
Beyond that, she had no idea what to do. She had come here ready to be angry at Jack for the rest of eternity, and now what? He hadn’t done anything wrong. In fact, she had been the one to spill the beans. If anything, Jack should hate her, but the way he was looking at her said a different story.
“What are we going to do?” she whispered through her fingers. Her head rested in her hands and tears trickled down her face collecting in a pool in her palms. She felt the sofa adjust next to her as Jack’s weight shifted the cushions. He slowly brushed her hair back several times pushing a few loose strands behind her ear just like she habitually did.
“We’ll figure it out,” he said soothingly.
Lexi sobbed into her hands as he continued to stroke her hair. There was nothing he could do or say that would make her feel better at that moment. She was lost in her own misery.
“Are you going to tell Kate?” Lexi asked finally looking up at him.
His hand stilled at the nape of her neck as their eyes met. “I…uh…I dunno.”
“Jack, you know he’s going to tell her about it. He was so angry. If you had seen him, you’d understand what I’m talking about.”
“Did he say he was going to tell her?” Jack asked her.
“Uh…well, no,” Lexi admitted. She assumed Clark would tell Kate everything. If she was in his position, that’s what she would do. Jack had ruined Clark’s life. It seemed only fitting for Clark to return the favor.
“Maybe he won’t tell her,” he said wistfully.
Lexi stood swiftly. “So, what? You’re just going to go on with your life?” she asked through her tears. “You’re just going to go back to Kate? I don’t understand you at all. Even if he doesn’t tell her, she’s sure to find out. She’s not all that bright, but she’s not an idiot. She had to know something was up. Clark did.”
“I doubt she would find out,” he said looking down.
“What? How could you say that?”
“You said it yourself. She’s not as bright as Clark, who obviously figured this all out on his own. If he didn’t say anything about telling Kate, then maybe he’s not going to tell her.”
“And you’re not going to tell her?”
He met her fierce gaze. “I don’t see why I would.”
“Oh…you don’t see why you would.”
“God, Lex, you wouldn’t tell Clark if the positions were reversed.” She didn’t really want to think about that. She had no idea what she would do if the roles were reversed. “And anyway, I would never let Kate have any idea what we were up to.”
Lexi gasped. “Are you implying that I set this up for him to find out?”
“I’m not implying anything. Stop putting words in my mouth. All I’m saying is that there’s no way you would tell Clark. You’d have no reason to tell him.”
Lexi’s mouth just hung open. Was he serious? He could find no reason to tell his girlfriend that he had been cheating on her? She sighed heavily. “I don’t know what I would do, because circumstances aren’t reversed, but I’d at least be smart about it.”
“Fine. Tell me how to be smart about all this. You think telling Kate is a smart decision? Well, you’re wrong. Kate and I have been together for years, and if I told her it would crush her.”
“Maybe you should have thought about that,” Lexi said.
“You think I didn’t think about that? I fucking think about it all the time. But you…I don’t even know. Once I remembered what it was like to be with you, I didn’t want to let it all go again.” Lexi allowed herself a small smile at his admission. “But I wasn’t ready to get rid of Kate either. And I’m still not ready to get rid of her.”
“But you’re ready to get rid of me?”
“No, that’s not what I’m saying. God, I don’t even know what I’m saying. All I know is that I can’t tell Kate just yet. I couldn’t imagine being the one to crush her. She would never be the same.”
Lexi shook her head in disbelief at everything he was saying. It was like last time except now she knew about what was happening. She had allowed herself to get into this position for the second time with the same guy.
Not that she had been prepared to let go of Clark, but that seemed to be the obvious course of action. This was something that wouldn’t go unpunished. Clark was the kind of guy who could find a million different girls to be with, and he had chosen her. At the flip of a switch, he could have any other girl.
A part of her knew that was coming. It was inevitable that Clark was going to leave her. That inevitability wasn’t in place for Jack. But even so, she couldn’t even count the number of times she had thought about actually being with Jack in a relationship. She had imagined them together for so long, it was strange to see that for the third time they had screwed up beyond repair. Jack wasn’t leaving Kate. Lexi knew it, but she couldn’t come to grips with that reality. She had always assumed that if things broke apart in their relationships, that they would be together. Not that they would be apart. She had never believed they would be apart.
“Jack, be realistic. She’s going to find out one way or another. If you don’t tell her, then Clark will. Then where will you stand?”
“What do you expect me to do, Lexi?” he asked standing forcefully. “Think about it. What would you do in my place? You have this great life with an amazing girlfriend who would do anything for you, and you would throw all that away?”
“If your life was so great, then what the fuck is this? What have we been doing since May?” she screamed gesturing between the two of them.
“I don’t know, Lexi. God, I don’t know. Give me some time to think about all this.”
Lexi’s mouth dropped open. “You need some time to think? I didn’t have any time to think when Clark confronted me.”
“That’s not my fault! Alright!”
“I thought we were in this together,” she said weakly. Her mind was whirling. Clark was right. It’s not like this actually mattered to Jack. He may not have told Clark about what had happened, but it wasn’t like he was going to leave Kate for her either. He had set her up in his mind to be the other woman, and that’s where she resided. That’s where she had always resided. She had never come first with him. Even when his relationship was threatened, he couldn’t see past his “amazing” girlfriend to what was really in front of him.