“This house is beautiful.”

“Nate bought it a number of years back, when the market was slow. It needed a lot of work and he’s good with real estate. It’s how he managed to snap up Serendipity before they turned it into another condo or a high-rise. I bought Inked Armor off of him. It used to be a barbershop.”

“I thought he was a clinical psychiatrist.”

“He is. Real estate is his hobby.”

“Aren’t hobbies usually a little more relaxing?”

“I guess for him it is. We’re going to renovate a property together in the spring.”

“I didn’t know you were into that kind of thing.”

Hayden shrugged. “He asked me while you were gone. I thought it would a good way to pass the time.” Hayden cut the engine. “We should go in; they’re probably waiting for us.”

Dinner at Cassie’s was full of holiday talk. She enlisted me to make cupcakes. Last year I’d been in the hospital, pumped full of drugs, so it wasn’t a day I remembered. This year I’d be lucid enough to miss the family traditions. My ornaments, the ones my parents gave me every year, were in a box in my closet. I’d have to get a tree so they’d have a place to hang.

“You’re off tomorrow?” I asked Hayden as we drove back toward Inked Armor after dinner.

“Yeah. What’s up? You want to do something?”

“I’m supposed to go shopping with Sarah and Lisa in the afternoon, but I want to buy a tree, too. Christmas is barely a week away.”

“I’ll take you to get one in the morning. We can strap it to the top of the douche mobile.”

“We can take my car.”

“And risk ruining the paint job on the roof? Not a chance.”

Hayden hated Connor’s car and that it was still parked behind Serendipity. He made a passing comment about pretentious douches driving BMWs. Connor hadn’t been a douche, but he had had moments of pretension.

“Do you want to set it up at your place or mine?” I asked.

“Mine. Definitely mine,” Hayden said. “TK will love that shit.”

He drove past his building and rounded the corner leading to the lot behind Serendipity, which meant I wasn’t being invited up. Since the first night I’d returned, there had been no sleepovers. It was part of Hayden’s plan to keep us from making bad decisions. I would’ve preferred bad decision-making to sleeping alone, but we were together almost every evening after he finished work. It wasn’t enough, but it was better than nothing.

Hayden said a thorough good night which resulted in fogged-up windows and an inordinate level of sexual frustration on my part. I hoped his cautiousness waned by the time Christmas arrived. I headed upstairs to my apartment. Being without Hayden would have been easier if TK was waiting for me, but she was still at his place. Sarah wasn’t home either, so I was without a distraction for the rest of the night.

Once inside I kicked off my shoes, tossed my jacket on the hook, and rushed to my bedroom. I stripped out of my clothes and rooted around in my dresser for bedwear. Upon my return, I discovered my apartment had two temperatures in the winter; “hot” and “sauna.” There was no in-between. Intent on dishing out some payback for the makeout session in the car, I ditched my bra and changed into a camisole and a pair of shorts. Then I went back out to the kitchen to pour myself a drink. Crossing to the window, I drew back the curtains, sat down on the sill, and waited.

I used to do this every night when I first moved in, before I’d gone into Inked Armor and everything changed. I’d taken up the habit again. Especially now that I knew where Hayden’s condo was located on the wall of windows across the street. Hayden and I had developed a new bedtime ritual. It made the lack of sleepovers a little less difficult to take.

My gaze shifted to the Inked Armor sign. It remained lit, lending a soft glow to the sidewalk below. Bundled up in scarves and hats and heavy coats, people hurried along the streets. I looked up at the condos above the shop and smiled when a slice of light appeared in the window almost directly above Inked Armor. The curtains were pushed aside and a figure eclipsed the light.

Hayden’s profile came into view, shadows cutting across his body. He’d taken off his dress shirt. A thin undershirt covered the majority of his ink, but it was tight enough to provide an adequate view of his heavyset shoulders and broad chest. I liked it best when he appeared in nothing but his ink, but I would take what I could get. TK was in her favorite place; draped across his shoulders.

My phone rang.

“Hi.” I lifted my hand in a wave and he mirrored the movement.

Hayden’s deep voice came through the line. “You changed.”

“I’m ready for bed.”

“You look a little underdressed to me, considering the weather.”

“It’s hot in here.” I fingered the strap of my camisole, gazing up at his shadowy profile in the window above me.

“You don’t think you’ll get cold?”

“I wouldn’t be if you came over,” I whispered hopefully.

His heavy exhale told me I was pushing it. “I thought you said you weren’t going to make this difficult for me.”

“I’m not trying to.”

“Are you sure about that?” His posture matched his tone; stiff. I didn’t want him mad at me. Not with me still sleeping in my own apartment.

“I just miss you.” I brought my fingers to my lips and touched the window.

There was a long pause. When he spoke again, his voice was soft, the edge gone. “I’m not far. Good night, kitten, I’ll see you in the morning.”

“G’night, Hayden.”

He ended the call and lifted his hand in a parting wave before he dropped the curtain. A few minutes later the light in his bedroom went out. I stayed at the window for a long time. It took me ages to fall asleep after I finally went to bed, knowing Hayden was still out of reach.

My phone woke me in the middle of the night.

“Tenley?” Hayden’s voice wavered.

“I’m here. Is everything okay?” I sat up, blinking away the bleariness. It was three in the morning.

“I had another—” He coughed. “You weren’t here. You weren’t beside me, and I just needed to make sure you were okay. I’m sorry.”

“It’s all right. Everything’s all right.” I listened to his panicked breathing as I got out of bed and went to the window with the view of his condo. He was standing at his window as he’d been a few hours earlier. “Do you want me to come over?”

His fingers drifted over the glass. “Please?”

“Give me five minutes.” I kept him on the line while I pulled on clothes, talking him down, reassuring him I was on my way.

Hayden met me at the front door of his condo building, even though I had keys. He didn’t end the call until I was standing right in front of him. His hair was a riotous mess, the sides sticking out, the top standing on end in some places and lying flat it others. His eyes were bloodshot and his jaw was tight.

“Was it the same dream?” I asked as he pulled me tight against him, burying his face in my hair. From what I understood, his nightmares had become a nightly occurrence.

“Sort of. It starts out the same every time but it keeps changing.”

He led me to the elevator, punching the button until the doors slid open. I couched my anxiety as I stepped inside; Hayden required my strength more than I needed his. When we were closed inside, he made quick work of the buttons on my coat. His cold hand went under my hoodie to my sternum and then slid around my back. As on the night I first returned, it wasn’t sexual.

He kept his hand pressed against my skin as the elevator chimed and the doors opened. He was too unnerved to get his key in the lock, so I let us into his condo. TK met us at the door, weaving between our legs. Hayden didn’t even bother to put his shoes away once we were locked inside, which spoke to his state. I put them in the closet, along with my own.

“Do you want to tell me about it?” I asked when we were sitting on his couch, him with a glass of scotch and me with water.