I leaned down with the intention of kissing her cheek. She turned her head at the last second and I connected with her mouth, instead. Her tongue flicked out, all subtle like, skimming my bottom lip. I liked the jealous side of her. It made me feel better about my own territorial impulses.

Once Amy settled up, Tenley and I went to get the douche mobile since it still had all her stuff in it. As soon as we were in the car, she was all over me. The front seat had plenty of room for her to maneuver. She was half straddling me, her lips on mine with one hand rubbing over my crotch through my jeans. My dick was throwing a party.

“Whoa. Take it easy, kitten.”

She took advantage of my mouth’s being open and shoved her tongue in it. Her hand snaked under the waistband of my pants. She couldn’t manage the coordination or the patience necessary to kiss me and get her hand down far enough to find what she was looking for. Which, incidentally, was bent at an awkward angle. She pulled my fly down. Part of me wanted to help her out, but the other part—the one that considered the merits of taking things slowly—decided now would be a good time to act on that advice.

I put my hand over hers. “Tenley, I think—”

She kept fumbling with my belt. I went limp and stopped kissing her. She made an impatient noise and pushed her tongue past my lips again. Although the urge to react was strong, I remained unresponsive.

“Kiss me,” she ordered, and nipped at my bottom lip.

“No.”

“Fine.” She went to work on my belt with both hands.

“Tenley, stop.” I ran my hands down her arms and circled her wrists. She flinched and jerked them away. I’d forgotten about the bruises from that fuckhead Trey.

“You don’t want me to touch you?” The panic and fear in her eyes was echoed in her voice.

I definitely wanted her hands on me, but the location was all wrong. Besides, her motivation was questionable. “How about you tell me what’s got you so worked up.”

“We only have an hour before your next appointment. I want to make the most of it.”

“By getting it on in your deceased fiancé’s car?”

She blinked, stunned, and dropped heavily into her seat.

Well, that soured the mood. “I’m sorry. That was a dick thing to say.”

“You’re right, though. I wasn’t thinking. I just wanted to be close to you.”

“There’s more to it than that,” I challenged.

“I didn’t like the way she was touching you.”

“Amy’s a client and a friend. She’s touchy with everyone.”

“Her hands were only on you,” Tenley pointed out acidly.

“She’s just a client,” I reiterated, unsure where Tenley was going with this and why she was so agitated over it. She’d never been like this before, but then, a lot had changed in a short time.

“So you’ve never been with her?”

My eyebrows shot up. “Uh, no. The only client I’ve had sex with was Sienna.”

“Aside from me, you mean.”

“Yeah. But you’re different, and so are the circumstances. Where is this coming from?”

“You were with Sienna for years.” Tenley traced the divots on the inside of the steering wheel.

I rubbed my forehead. “We’ve talked about this before. Sienna and I fucked. And, yes, we did it on and off for a long time, but it wasn’t a relationship.”

“I’m not sure I agree with that.”

“Just because I put my dick in whatever hole she offered doesn’t mean we had a relationship.” Tenley grimaced, probably because I was being unnecessarily crass, but I needed her to understand the distinct differences between her and Sienna. “We didn’t go out on dates. I never spent time with her if I wasn’t high or getting laid. For fuck’s sake, she was the one who orchestrated all the third- and fourth-party participation.”

Tenley’s eyes widened. “All? As in more than once?”

“Why do you look so surprised? You’ve been inside The Doll-house. You’ve met Sienna. You hang out with Sarah and you know what she does to pay her tuition. You’ve seen the people I used to spend my time with. None of this should come as a shock. I can’t keep apologizing for shit I did before I knew you.” My stomach churned as the words spilled out. I was so damn tired of looking at my past and justifying why I did the things I did.

“I’m not asking you to apologize.”

“Then what are you asking for?”

“I just want . . .”

“What, Tenley? What do you want? Do you want to take this down to base needs? Do you want me to be the person you fuck and nothing else? Am I too complicated for you? If so, I’m not sure I can be that accommodating, because my stupid fucking feelings will get in the way. I’m sorry if that’s an inconvenience for you.”

Tenley looked horrified. “That’s ludicrous. What would make you think that’s what I want?”

I rubbed my temple. “I don’t know. Maybe it has something to do with the way you tried to get me to fuck you as soon as we stopped fighting last night. Or the way you ended up naked in my bed this morning, looking for more of the same.” Even as I said it, I knew it wasn’t fair.

“You can’t be serious! I ended up in your bed because you were having a nightmare, not so you would fuck me. I missed you. I wanted to be with you because of how I feel about you, not because I wanted an orgasm.”

“Yeah, well, it’s hard to know with you,” I snapped. “This shit is all I know, Tenley. The fighting and the fucking, it’s what Sienna used to do. She’d push my goddamn buttons until I went off, and then she’d let me fuck all the anger out. This whole scenario is too damn familiar.”

What Tenley and I had was about more than sex, but I couldn’t seem to get a handle on my emotions. Or my fears.

This wasn’t how I’d thought things would go this evening. We were supposed to get my car, have a quick bite, and I’d head back to work. Then I’d invite her over at the end of the night to hang out. I hadn’t expected a fight in her dead fiancé’s car, incited by a make-out session.

“I’m sorry Sienna did that to you, but I’m not her. Sometimes people have sex after they argue to connect, not just to get off. That’s what I wanted—not control, or payback, or anything sinister.” Tenley reached out, but when I shifted away, she retracted her hand. “I was terrified you’d go back to Sienna while I was gone. Or find someone else to replace me. I worried about that all the time.”

“First of all, you’re not replaceable. And you think I didn’t worry about the same thing? I kept going over what I could have done differently to keep you with me.”

“I never wanted anyone but you.”

“How the hell was I supposed to know that? You told me to leave, for fuck sake! Maybe if you’d made some attempt to contact me, I wouldn’t have been in hell for the past few weeks. One phone call would have been enough.”

“I told you why I didn’t—”

I raised a hand and cut her off. “I know you had your reasons, except you aren’t the only one who was affected by your decisions. We both have fucked-up pasts. There’s nothing simple about what’s going on between us. I’m trying to let this shit go, but you’ve been back less than twenty-four hours. Beyond that, if you can’t get over the things I’ve done, then maybe this isn’t going to work.”

“What are you saying?” I could feel her anxiety. It rivaled mine and I felt awful for the spike of satisfaction. Tenley hadn’t asked for her past, any more than I’d asked for mine.

“I don’t know. I think maybe we need to slow things down. Start over, or whatever.”

“Are you asking for space?”

“No. I think maybe we need to back things up a bit. My head’s all messed up over this, and as much as I want to be with you, I’m not sure it’s a good thing for me right now.”

“Be with me?” Her fingers tightened around the steering wheel and her eyes flared with panic. “As in . . . ?”

“As in sex. We need to put that on hold.”

Her grip loosened, but the frown of worry remained. “Indefinitely?”