“She said you—” Tenley chewed on her lip. Shook her head. “Never mind. It doesn’t matter.”

“It sure as fuck does matter. What did she say about me?” Sienna had clearly told Tenley more than I would have.

“Can’t we just let this go for now? I know you’re upset I went to The Dollhouse, but it’s done. What Sienna said is irrelevant.”

I scrubbed my hand over my face, annoyed. Frustrated. “Don’t do that. I want to know what she said so I can either defend myself or explain.” I sighed. “I won’t downplay events, Tenley. I’ll tell you whatever you want to know. I think we’re past pretending our omissions don’t have an impact on either of us.” When she remained silent, I needled her, “Did she tell you about the four-way?”

“I-I . . . It—it d-doesn’t—”

“I’ll take that as a yes. Are you going to lie and tell me you’re cool with that? It doesn’t look like you are. In fact, you look a little nauseous. Are you sure it doesn’t matter?”

She fiddled with the edge of the comforter. “Of course I’m not cool with it. But there’s nothing I can do to change it, and neither can you. Why are you pushing me like this?”

“Because I’m still pissed, Tenley!” My anger at Sienna, at Tenley, and myself suddenly combined into one big need for a fight. “You up and ran, with no explanation, for almost a fucking month! How could you do that to me?”

She was silent for a minute. Then she said, “You’re right. I ran. I admit it.” She took a deep breath. “I was terrified of what I had with you, Hayden—and not just because of how much I’d already lost.”

That got my attention. “Why, then?” I asked more quietly.

“Because it made my relationship with Connor feel like a fucking farce. The way I feel about you? I never felt anything like that for him. Maybe I could have been happy with him, but I’ll never know, because he’s dead.

“And that’s my fault. I’m the one who wanted the destination wedding. Do you have any idea how difficult it is to reconcile the reality that I never would have met you if my whole family wasn’t dead? I’m not justifying my running. I’m just telling you why I did.”

Well, that showered me with a monsoon of perspective. Trey’s appearance would have brought all her guilt to the forefront. And the memorial service and the estate gave her the perfect escape. It would have been extremely difficult to handle.

I sighed. “I can understand why you went. But I still wish we could have talked it out before. The last three weeks were shitty.”

“And I’m sorry for that. It was the same for me. I’d change it if I could.”

“How do I know you won’t do it again? How am I supposed to trust you after this?”

Her gaze dropped; when she looked up, her eyes were shiny with unshed tears. “The only way is time, I guess. Will you give me that? I’m sure you have more questions, and I’ll answer them all if it will help. I’ll do whatever you need me to—even if it means giving you space.”

This was way more difficult than I expected it to be. “No thanks on the space. I’ve had enough of that—but I don’t think we can just pick things up where we left off.”

“I’m inclined to agree. So where does that leave us?”

“I have no idea. This isn’t something I’ve done before.”

“Me either. Not really, anyway.” She ducked her head.

“Is there a story behind that?”

“Yes. But the ending isn’t very nice.”

So it had to do with Connor. “You planning to tell it anyway?”

“Do you want me to?”

I wasn’t so sure now was the best time. “Maybe later.”

Her shoulders sagged with relief. “Okay. What now, then?”

I glanced at the clock. It was almost noon. “I’ve got to go to work in an hour, but we could go somewhere and get breakfast first.”

“You’d want that?” She gave me that shy, little smile I liked so much.

“Yeah. I’m gonna shower first, though.”

“I should probably do the same.”

It was on the tip of my tongue to ask her to join me, but then I figured it might not be the best idea. Showering included nudity, which would inevitably lead to sex. While I wanted that with a desperation that bordered on pathetic, it wasn’t smart. It would feel good, fantastic even, but my head was already too mixed up.

Getting to the shower without Tenley’s noticing my massive hard-on was going to be an epic feat, though.

“Wait.” Tenley grabbed my arm as I threw one leg over the side of the bed.

“Yeah?”

“Maybe I could—”

“I don’t think—”

Her intentions were obvious. “I just want—”

“—it’s a good idea—”

“—to kiss you.”

She didn’t give me a chance to argue. Her hands smoothed over my shoulders and up the sides of my neck. Her touch was exactly the balm I craved, and I loathed my weakness for her. When she leaned in, I gave her my cheek.

She dropped her hands and sat back on her heels, looking at me with sad longing. “You don’t want to kiss me?”

“I didn’t say that.”

“It’s just a kiss. I’m not expecting more.”

She made it sound so innocent, but I knew better. Last night when she’d kissed me, I ended up dry-humping her. And we both had more clothing on then. “We’re in my bed and you’re only wearing a shirt. You may not have expectations, but I don’t have much in the way of restraint right now.”

“You don’t need to restrain yourself for my benefit.”

“I’m still mad at you.” There was no point in denying it.

“I know.” Her fingers drifted along my jaw. “And I understand if you can’t forgive me yet.”

“It’s probably going to take a while.”

“I expect so.” She leaned in again, slowly, until she was only an inch away from my mouth.

I regarded her with wary anticipation. “Making out isn’t going to fix things.”

“No, but it might help alleviate some of the tension.”

Her lips touched mine. She met no resistance so she did it again, going to the left side, to the viper bites.

“I missed your mouth,” she said, nipping her way along.

I groaned in response and she tilted her head to the side, her tongue flicking across the seam of my mouth, a tentative request for access. One hand left my neck and glided down my arm. She stroked along my fingers until they unfurled from the fist I was making.

“It’s okay to touch me,” she said.

“It’s really not a good idea,” I muttered.

She ignored me, though, and moved my not-so-reluctant palm to her hip. I gripped the shirt and it bunched tight, conforming to the dip in her waist and the swell of her breasts. It didn’t at all help my conviction to postpone sexual gratification. Until maybe tonight. After I had the day to process all the shit we’d talked about in the past twelve hours.

“I missed the way you taste.” Her tongue pressed forward, all soft exploration and warm, languid sweeps.

Conflicted though I might be, my body was all for getting close to her. And the closer the better, as far as my dick was concerned. My brain appeared to have migrated south and didn’t see any problem with where we were headed.

Tenley’s hands were on the move again. The one against my neck slid higher into my hair. Her fingers curled and tugged, angling my head to the side. The other one went on a tour over my forearm, up my biceps to my shoulder, then down my chest. She paused at the barbell, her index finger drawing circles before she continued her downward trajectory. The descent stopped at the waistband, where she started tracing the perimeter, back and forth, over and over.

I tensed when her fingers dipped past the elastic barrier, so fucking close to the head of my cock. Contact from the waist up was manageable; anything below and I was liable to drop the pretense of civility. “I thought you didn’t expect more.”

Her fingers stilled. “Do you want me to stop touching you?”

“I don’t know.” Which was a stupid thing to say because I sure as hell didn’t want her to stop. Not one little fucking bit.