Eventually his hand came to rest on my sternum, his nose pressed right into my throat. His breathing evened out and the tension left his body, but he kept his arm locked around me, as if I’d disappear if he let go.

8

HAYDEN

My face was warm, damp. A rhythmic thump-whooshing lulled me into tranquillity. My cheek was resting on a chest, which explained the sweaty face. The thump-whoosh was the heart beating in the body I was wrapped around.

I opened my eyes. Tenley was in my bed. For the briefest moment I wondered if the last three weeks had been an incredibly shitty dream. But the scratches on her cheek told me the hell I’d lived was real.

She’d come back. Finally. Unfortunately, we didn’t have one of those reunions filled with sunshine and rainbows. Instead it was former strippers and catfights.

I still didn’t understand how she’d ended up in my bed, acting as my pillow. Going by the feel of things, she was completely naked. Not a good thing for her to be when I was sporting a hard-core case of morning wood and we needed to have a serious talk. The impulse to whack off had deserted me the night Tenley left Chicago, but seeing her in my shirt and boxers last night had resuscitated my comatose dick. I hadn’t been in any frame of mind to manage myself, so I’d bolted. Plus her hip was obviously sore. Sex would have made it worse.

Tenley made a little chuffing sound, which meant she was waking. Then she stretched, her limbs vibrating. I’d missed this, more than I wanted to admit. My emotions made me weak, and my anger flared. Being pissed didn’t deflate my hard-on, though. It had the opposite effect. I rolled onto my back to get a little space, and maybe some perspective, because I had no idea how to proceed. My brain and my body wanted two very different things.

Tenley didn’t make it any easier when she threw her leg over mine, her naked body coming up against me. She hadn’t been joking about losing the shorts. I could feel every part of her, including that sweet, hot place pressed firmly against my thigh. She snuggled in closer, unaware, and her hand moved down my chest. I caught it before it reached my navel.

She lifted her head, blinking sleepily. “Hi.” Her voice was all sultry rasp.

My dick reacted by jumping, stupid appendage that it was, excited for something it had no business wanting. She shifted, her bare breasts brushing my arm, and I tensed at the overload of sensation. I fought the desire to roll over, wedge myself between her thighs, and take what I wanted; to just get inside her so I could feel that connection again.

“How’d you end up in here?” I asked.

She took in her surroundings, confused. Our compromising position must have registered, because she was suddenly alert. I let go of her hand and she sat up. The covers dropped. The first thing I noticed was the too-prominent jut of her collarbones. The slight bounce of her perfectly luscious breasts distracted me, though. The temperature change became evident as her skin pebbled, her nipples tightening. Those little, jeweled barbells winked, spotlit and waiting for my mouth or hands. I looked away.

Tenley quickly gathered the covers and pulled them up to her neck. “You had a nightmare. You don’t remember?”

I shook my head.

“I’m not sure you were very lucid. You, ah, took off my shirt. You were checking for something. A wound, I think?” The sheets rustled, with a whisper of fabric moving against skin.

I glanced at her. She had covered her nakedness with the black shirt from last night. “Did we—”

“No. It wasn’t anything like that. You were upset from the nightmare. I stayed until you calmed down and then we both fell asleep. Nothing else happened.”

I couldn’t imagine not remembering sex with Tenley. “Good, that’s good—”

Like the snap of an elastic band, the nightmare returned in a slide show of horrific images. It was the one that troubled me most these days, where she bled out from a bullet wound to the chest. Except last night the satin sheath had been black instead of white, so I couldn’t see the blood leaking out of her.

The memory of the dream must have registered in my expression because her head dropped. Her hair swept forward, shielding her face. She twisted her fingers in her lap, and tears fell onto the gray comforter. They sat on the surface for a few prolonged seconds before they soaked in, turning the fabric almost black. “I’m so sorry I hurt you,” she whispered.

“I believe you.”

Unable to stop myself, I lifted her chin so I could see her face. Her fears matched mine. I wanted to go back to the way things were before she left, but so much had happened. We had to establish a new balance, and that would take time.

I rolled onto my side to face her. “Want to tell me what happened last night with Sienna?”

“I left Arden Hills in a rush. I called Sarah when I was on the road to let her know I was on my way. I just wanted to be home. Anyway, she didn’t pick up, so I left a voice mail. I stopped at the apartment, but her car wasn’t there—”

“You were right across the street and you didn’t shoot me a message?”

“I wanted to, but you hadn’t answered my calls and I wasn’t ready—”

“You’ve been gone for three fucking weeks. How much more ready do you need to be?”

“I know how it sounds—but I’d been up since you called yesterday morning, and it was late when I got here. I wanted to see you, but I was tired and emotional. I thought it would be better for both of us if I didn’t show up in the middle of the night.”

I could see her point, but it still hurt. “So that’s how you ended up at The Dollhouse.”

“My plan was to get the key and leave. When I mentioned I knew Sarah, the bouncer took that to mean I wanted a job and let me inside. If I’d known Sienna was the manager, though, I wouldn’t have gone in. They took me to see her, and obviously she recognized me. She said some things I didn’t like, and I did the same. When she got aggressive, I defended myself.”

I was proud of Tenley for taking on someone like Sienna. It was reckless, but ballsy. “What exactly did she say?”

Her eyes shifted away. “That I couldn’t handle you. That you’d get bored and go back to her.”

Typical Sienna. “That’s bullshit. I’d rather fuck a cactus. So I’m guessing whatever your reply was, she didn’t like it.”

“Not so much.”

“What did you say to piss her off?”

Tenley’s cheeks flushed. “It’s not important.”

I arched a brow and stared her down. “Oh, no? I’m going to disagree with you on that, considering the state of your face.”

She relented with a heavy sigh. “I called her a whore. That’s when she got aggressive.”

Tenley was leaving something out. I could tell by her lack of eye contact and how fidgety she was. “What else did she say to you?”

“Nothing much. She just wanted a reaction. You said yourself that she likes to lie.”

I shifted closer so Tenley couldn’t hide her face and slid my hand along the side of her neck. Her pulse was hammering against my palm. I skimmed her jaw with my thumb, back and forth. She leaned into the contact. “What else, Tenley?”

“She told me why she slept with Chris.”

My stomach sank. I covered my panic with sarcasm. “Oh? And what was her convoluted logic?”

“She said she did it to get your attention.”

“Well, wasn’t that clever of her,” I replied derisively. Sienna’s version of the events was undoubtedly highly modified, with all the important parts left out. The situation that had led to Sienna’s getting into Chris’s pants had been an epic clusterfuck. I should have known I’d have to deal with this shit sooner or later; there were too many lingering connections with the people from my past. But to have a discussion like this on the first day Tenley came home? My black cloud of doom just kept expanding, submerging me in toxic emotional waste.