I investigate this sucker which has little hidden compartments everywhere. A tinge of jealousy courses through my body when I think of the fact that I may never have the chance to use one of these. It hurts. It hurts so damn bad when I think about this whole fucked up situation and how badly I would give anything to see the look on Turner’s face if I were to tell him we were pregnant.

This isn’t how life is supposed to be. It sure as hell isn’t how I dreamed it would be. What could possibly be the point of Trent and his father doing this? Turner is just your average every day run-of-the-mill guy. He doesn’t come from money, so that can’t be the reason. What the hell could it be?

“Clove.”

I lift my head at hearing my name.

“Shit, Clove, you’re crying. Come on.”

Krista gently tugs my arm and starts to push the stroller down the sidewalk. I follow and reach up with my hand to swipe away the tears that I didn’t even know were falling.

We walk for a couple blocks without either one of us saying anything. I don’t know if Krista is giving me the time and space to get my shit together or if it’s me who has suddenly become closed off and despondent. We walk for a few more blocks in silence and turn into the small open patch of grass that has a few wooden benches sitting by the curb.

“Come on, sit.” She pats the seat right next to her. I take a seat and lift my head towards the sun as I close my eyes and inhale. “You okay?”

My eyes pop open. Of course I am not okay, but I don’t tell her that. I know how worried she is for me and for Turner. So instead I look at her and smile to the best of my ability.

“I just need to know what Melody said,” I whisper. Krista stares straight ahead when she speaks next.

“I don’t know where to start, really.” Her voice cracks with misery.

“Start from the beginning.”

At this point, I’ve given up all hope that they are any closer to finding Turner, because if they were, I know that would have been the first thing out of her mouth the moment we got away from the house.

“Zack said that when he showed up at Melody’s without you or Turner, she freaked on him, thinking something had happened to one of you. Once he told her what was happening, it took him almost an hour before she stopped her crying long enough for him to get the entire story out of her.” Pausing, she glances my way.

“What the hell happened?”

“James. That’s their dad’s name.” I simply nod and she goes on. “He was an alcoholic and never could keep a job back then. He was very abusive to Melody; they were constantly fighting. Apparently he favored Trent over Turner, she said.” We both sharply in take a deep breath at her outburst.

“What?” I exclaim.

“Turner was . . . well, according to Melody anyway, he was always whiny and clumsy, which didn’t set well with their father. I guess Trent always did everything first. He got teeth first and learned how to walk first, and Turner was the one who always trailed behind. Whatever she meant by that, I don’t know.”

She waves her hand in dismissal before continuing.

“Anyway. One day he came home and started in on Turner, and Melody started in on James. She said he snapped and hit her so hard that she fell and hit her head on the edge of their kitchen table. She was knocked out cold, and when she came to he was gone and he had taken Trent with him.”

“Oh my God!” I place my hand over my mouth to stifle my scream.

“I know, right? I can’t imagine how she must have felt not knowing.” Krista lifts her hand and places it gently on Nolan’s soft leg as he lays there sleeping.

“Well, what did she do?” I ask.

“She called the cops after a few hours of not hearing anything from him and filed a missing person’s report. Zack has a box full of papers and newspaper clippings she gave him. He went through most of them last night and then this morning he took them to the station.” Krista places her hand on my knee and squeezes gently.

“They just disappeared, Clove.”

My hands fly to my mouth as I think of what Melody has had to go through for the last twenty some-odd years. Christ almighty, I am speechless at this point as my thoughts take over. I knit my eyebrows together as all of a sudden, confusion abruptly hits. I stand up in a rush and pace a few steps forward before spinning on my heel to face Krista.

“What are you thinking?” She blurts out.

“That gives us a clue as to why he left, but did she say why the hell she kept the kidnapping and the existence of Turner’s twin brother from him?” I swing my arms out in question. “She is not telling us everything, Krista. You know, she came by the house earlier today acting all upset and wanting to see Trent. Thank God I was outside and saw her drive up before he did.”

“How did she seem?”

“She’s hiding something, I just know it. But why? For the life of me I cannot figure out why. How in the hell could she live all these years and not say a damn word to anyone? Did the kidnapping investigation just stop? I mean, you don’t simply give up trying to find your child!”

Realizing my voice has been getting louder and louder, I take a deep breath and start again in a lower tone.

“No. There is more to this story than she is telling everyone and I am going to find out what the hell it is. She’d better have a damn good reason and tell me the damn truth. My husband is God knows where right now. He could even be de-”

“No! Don’t think that, Clove, or even say it.” Krista takes hold of both of my hands as she stands. “He’s alive. You cannot think that way.”

“I don’t know anything anymore. If Melody had told him the truth, everything would be fine and my husband would be right here where he belongs. This is too much. What if he’s with his piece of shit dad and is being beaten and tortured? Oh God. I need him back.”

My entire body starts to shake as I see a vision in my mind of a bloody and beaten Turner being tortured somewhere all alone.

“Stop it right now!” Krista chastises me. “You need to be strong for both you and Turner, and you need to let Zack and everyone else involved do their jobs.”

She’s right, I know she is, but I just don’t know how much stronger I can get. I am dying my own slow, personal death here. My life is never going to be the same, no matter what happens.

“Let Zack do his job, Clove. You know he loves both you and Turner. It’s killing him to see you go through this.”

“Well, I feel like I am already dead. I’m numb to everything.”

“Oh, Clove. Honey, come here.”

Krista sits back down and places her arm around me. I lean my head onto her shoulder.

“Did she say anything else?”

“Not really. But Zack feels the same way as you do about her hiding something. He said he asked her several times why she never told anyone and she just kept saying that she was frightened of James. Zack didn’t buy that pathetic excuse for a minute.”

We share a long glance.

“I need to talk to her myself,” I say. “Maybe once she hears the hell I am living in, she will open up and tell me what we need to know. She’s Turner’s mother for God’s sake, but the way she acted this morning was almost as if she was more concerned about Trent than with trying to find the son she actually raised,” I say bitterly.

“True,” Krista says as she gets up and turns the stroller around. “We should probably head back so Trent doesn’t suspect anything.”

“I don’t think he does.”

Thoughts of this morning’s sexual escapades in the kitchen flood my mind. Not wanting to share any of the intimate details with Krista, I stand up as well. We make our way back to their house as the sun is slowly descending on the horizon and birds are chirping all around us.

I will definitely be making a phone call to my dear mother-in-law and when we do meet, she will tell me everything she knows. Melody is the only one who can help us now, and she damn well knows it.